


The Art of Seclusion

by Ridea



Category: Divergent (Movies), Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: Angst, Drama, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Gen, Lots of sex...sometimes, Manipulation, POV Original Character, Pre-Divergent, Psychological Trauma, Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-23
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-01-20 12:25:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 78,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1510349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ridea/pseuds/Ridea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amelia Elswood is smart. She knows her position is the most dangerous place to be...but it's also the safest. She's Erudite. She's Divergent...and she's Jeanine's assistant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to use a mix of the books and movie. It takes place before Divergent starts. A HUGE thank you goes out to my beta Sarah (aka Vorazlov28) and to Lauren for her inspiration. All recognizable characters belong to their own authors (aka Veronica Roth). Enjoy.

Seclude [si-klood]  
verb (used with object), se·clud·ed, se·clud·ing.  
1\. to place in or withdraw into solitude; remove from social contact and activity, etc.  
2\. to isolate; shut off; keep apart: They secluded the garden from the rest of the property.

Seclusion:  
1\. the state of being private and away from other people.

 

Chapter 1

I'm in the middle of typing up a request when two men try to walk into the office behind my desk. There's an appointment booked in five minutes but that doesn't give them free access.

“You can't go in there,” I say. I don't look away from the screen, but I can see them stop and turn towards me.

“Why not?” one of them asks.

“Because she's in a meeting.” I finish the request, ending it with a signature that gives my name and status. Not that it's necessary. Everyone here knows who I am now. It's useful, but unnerving considering how many people try to use me to get know Jeanine, to put in a good word for them. I never have. I don't believe in riding on other people's coat tails. I gesture towards the chairs that line one of the walls in front of my desk. “Wait there. I'll let her know you're here.”

I send the request off, keeping a copy for Jeanine and myself before finally looking up at them. The black clothing labels them as Dauntless and I recognize Max, one of the leaders of the faction, instantly. He acts as the representative of the leaders of Dauntless. He's usually the only one seen at any of the meetings between the leaders and representatives. The other one is new. He's taller than Max with short blond hair that's shaved at the sides but is longer at the top. If the black didn't label him as Dauntless, the ridiculous hair did. Only Dauntless refused to have normal hairstyles. His face is familiar though. They move away from the door and towards the chairs but they don't sit.

I stand and move towards the door to the office behind me. I knock once, wait for the voice bidding me to enter before I open it. I step into the office and look at Jeanine who is sitting behind her desk. She looks almost severe with the hard-pressed lines of her blue suit. Her gaze is sharp behind her glasses, and even though her face relaxes into a smile when she sees me, her grey eyes remind me of steel that's ready to cut down anything in her way. It's terrifying.

“Yes?” she asks. I ignore the scientist that is sitting across from her as he turns towards me.

“I'm sorry to interrupt,” I say, “but the Dauntless are here to see you.”

“Ah, yes. Thank you, Amelia.”

I nod and close the door. I can feel eyes on me and the hairs on the back of my neck rise. I look towards the Dauntless to see the new one staring at me as they talk quietly. It feels like I'm under a microscope, another specimen to be examined. I want to run far away from it.

Suddenly, I know why he's familiar. He used to be Erudite. He's near my age, older, but I remember him from before he transferred. He was skinnier back then, not as tall or tattooed as he is now, but cruel enough that it was no surprise he ended up in Dauntless. I met him once. I needed a book for a report and he had it, so I introduced myself and asked to borrow it. He let me and I returned it the next day but since then I could often feel him watching me. At least, until he left.

I sit down at my desk, ignoring his stare as I look at the schedule for the day. Jeanine only has this meeting left for the morning but there are more documents that I need to send out and delegate. I want to sigh. The amount of paper work feels never ending and I'm tired of seeing the same things over again. I don't though. Everyone has their place in the search of knowledge at Erudite. The door behind me opens and the head scientist and Jeanine walk out.

“We should have a prototype within a couple of weeks. I'll put my best on it.”

“Thank you Gregory. I knew I could count on you.” I watch as the man shakes her hand in goodbye. He doesn't greet the Dauntless, doesn't even look at them as he scuttles out of the room. Despite the fact that the Dauntless are supposed to protect us, people are still afraid. I don't blame them. Jeanine, however, has no such fear.

“Gentlemen,” she greets and the men walk over towards her. “Good to see you again. Please, come in.” She moves aside, motioning for them to enter her office.

They walk past both of us and my attention turns to Jeanine as she says my name. “Amelia, hold any calls. Also, arrange for lunch to be brought to us today. You and I must speak.”

Oh no. I nod and make a note of it as she closes the office door. The fear that her last sentence spikes in me isn't useful but I can't help it. Why does she want to talk to me? There are only two reasons; I did something wrong as her assistant...or she knows my secret. I call the cafeteria quickly, ordering lunch and by the time I hang up, I've calmed down. My mind is whirling through the possibilities of what she wants but I don't let it control me. I turn back towards my next task, another document that requires me to look through the research given to me, organize it into what Jeanine will think will be useful and send it to her for approval. Some of it is on Abnegation and some is on Divergents. This isn't good. In the back of my mind I wonder if all my efforts to hide myself are in vain. I'm smart. I knew when it was offered that my position was the most dangerous place to be...but it is also the safest. I am Erudite. I am Divergent...and I am Jeanine Matthews's assistant.

**[tbc]**


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The meeting commences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I'd like to thank Sarah my beta. Without her, this wouldn't be half as good as it is. Thank you all for reading.

An hour later, and the office door opens. The tall one that used be to Erudite exits but Max does not. He sits in the chair across from my desk and I can feel his eyes on me. I wish he'd stop. I don't look up. These reports are getting depressing, but I need to focus.

“I know you.” I look up at the sound of a deep voice. This is the first time he's spoken to me since I borrowed that book and his voice is deeper than it used to be.

“You do?” I ask. If I claim ignorance, will he stop?

“Yeah.” He doesn't say anything further so I turn back to the research. What was the point of that? Did he want to point out that he was more observant than me? He's still watching me and I can't help but wonder what he sees. My appearance is immaculate, it has to be working for Jeanine...so what is it? The phone rings and I answer it. The conversation is brief and I make a note to inform Jeanine that the sociologists have a new hypothesis about the factionless.

By the time I'm done, he's moved to stand in front of my desk. “Why'd you choose this?” he asks and I look up at him confused. He's broad shouldered and with his hands on my desk as he leans forward, it feels like he's looming over me.

“Erudite?”

“Secretary.” I scowl at him and he raises his eyebrows in amusement. Secretary sounded derogatory. I was more than that.

“I'm an assistant,” I tell him primly. “And I didn't choose it, I was chosen.” I say it proudly because I'm supposed to be proud. Our leader has the highest intellect out of us all and she chose me to assist her. It's a great opportunity and it would be if I was _only_ Erudite.

“Hmm,” he says. It looks like he doesn't believe me.

“Why did you choose Dauntless?” I ask. He bends over slightly, and I glance quickly at the muscles and block tattoos on his arms. No one in Erudite looks like that.

“I have my reasons.” I'm not impressed. His eyes glance down and I can feel myself turning red under his gaze. It's harder to ignore when he's in front of me. Despite his changed appearance, he seems the exact same as he was before he transferred.

“I'm sure you do. If you don't mind, I have work to do.” I turn back towards the computer, ignoring his low chuckle. The door behind me begins to open.

“Looks like we'll be seeing more of each other,” he says quietly.

“Haven't you seen enough?” I snap back.

“Not yet,” he says, standing up straight as the Dauntless leader exits the office.

“As always Max, thank you,” Jeanine says with a smile.

“Of course,” Max, the leader, says. “Come on Eric.” The two of them leave the office, but I catch Eric's eyes before he leaves. He smirks and I can't help but frown at him. I hope I never see him again.

“Trouble?” Jeanine asks. She's smiling at me from her doorway. It feels like she can see right through me. I shake my head.

“No.” She nods.

“Come in Amelia. It's time we talked.” She turns back into her office. I stand, ignoring how my hands tremble slightly as I turn off my screen. I straighten the blue pencil skirt I'm wearing and walk into the lion's den.  


* * *

“Close the door,” Jeanine says as she sits down behind her desk.

I do so and sit across from her once she motions to the chair. I thought we were having lunch together while we spoke, but it seems like it will be another day of eating at my desk. Her office is neat and orderly, the walls a light shade of blue that is supposed to calm me. I don't feel calm. This is the moment of truth. I fold my hands in my lap to keep them from trembling.

“How long have you been my assistant?” Jeanine has her hands clasped together on the metal desk and she's leaning forward. She's staring at me carefully, but she doesn't have that glint in her eye that she gets when she's about to verbally cut someone down. My voice doesn't waver.

“Two years.”

“And in these two years you have become invaluable to me, but steps are being taken and things are progressing forward. I need to know that I can trust you.” She stands up and walks around the desk towards me. Her arms cross over her chest and she leans back against the desk. “Can I trust you?” It's a loaded question and I can't answer too quickly or too slowly without suspicion.

“Of course,” I answer. She watches me for a moment.

“What do you think about Abnegation?”

I know what she wants me to say. I've been reading the reports she's requested. She's been looking into Marcus Eaton and why his son left, the food rations between the factions and the history of the control of the council. I never saw a problem with Abnegation but I've heard her talk. That's not how she thinks.

“Abnegation has been fundamental in our society and helping the factions,” I say. “But...I've read the reports. Things aren't...I don't think what they're doing could be the best for us as a society. I think we could be better.” I don't expand and I'm hoping I've said enough. If she doesn't trust me, I'll be forced into a low section of Erudite, barely higher than the Factionless. That would make me vulnerable. Her face gives me no clues.

“And Divergents?”

“Are a danger,” I answer instantly before realizing my mistake. I need to sound sincere. “How can we function properly and safely if there are those who will bring us chaos?” It's not outright taught to the classes, but those in Erudite know where to look to find anything. The only thing ever said about Divergents is that they're a threat to our safety, that there's something wrong with them. It's ridiculous. I'm proof of that. It's silent and the room is tense until she finally smiles again.

“I'm glad to hear that. I don't need to tell you that what I'm about to say must remain between us. I'm trusting you Amelia. I know that you won't fail me.” There's a threat in her voice. I can't give her any reason to abandon that trust.

“Of course not. I trust you and I trust your mind.” It's the right thing to say because she stands up straight.

“In order to save our society, we are going to take control from Abnegation. Any Divergents found will be eradicated.” There's a chill that runs up my back. That's me. “Dauntless will be...assisting us.” She says it sweetly, which terrifies me. Assisting could mean anything, especially from the Dauntless. They were insane.

“How? How are we going to take control?” I won't deny that I'm curious, regardless of my own safety. I should care about the nameless others...but I don't. Not when I'm on the line. That makes me feel terrible.

“Communications is working on discovering the information we need to destroy the public opinion of Abnegation. It's already started. The rest is still developing.” I nod. The research she's wanted makes a lot more sense now. “For now, all I need from you is to start planning for a transfer of materials to Dauntless.” She turns towards her desk and takes a paper off of it before handing it to me. “I want you to oversea everything. This is to be done in the utmost discrete manner, do you understand?” The paper feels heavy and I can almost picture the blood that it's going to cause. I pull it towards me.

“Yes.”

“Good. There are certain Dauntless leaders that you'll be working with. The two who were here today,” she clarifies. “They'll assist you when you're at the compound.” She walks back around her desk and sits down. She smiles and it surprises me how you can't see the malice that's hiding behind it.

“Do you know why I chose you Amelia?” I don't want to know, but I can't say that.

“I assumed it was because I was the top of my class,” I answer.

She tilts her head in acknowledgement. “Partly, but out of all the Erudite initiates in the past years...you remind me most of myself. I see great things in you Amelia.”

“Thank you,” I can't deny that her words please me. I've worked hard to be as good as I am, but I don't want to be like her. I can't. She smiles at me again.

“You may go,” she says, turning to her computer and giving me a wave. “Send in lunch.”

“Yes ma'am.” I wait until I'm out of her sight before I clench my hands tightly. I feel like I'm going to be sick. I've just agreed to help murder others like me.

**[tbc]**

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

I've never been more thankful that I live alone. My apartment is small, and aside from the walls lined with overflowing bookshelves, it's sparse. I enter it, turning on the lights and locking the door before I lean against it. What have I done? What have I agreed to? My throat tightens and a sob comes out before I can stop it. My body slides to the floor. I pull my knees close to my chest and try to slow down, to stop crying. It doesn't work. My body wracks with sobs.

I know Jeanine. I've studied her for the last two years since she chose me. I have adapted everything I am to fit in at Erudite...but I didn't expect this. I didn't expect that I would have to help her destroy a faction. Abnegation are good people. They choose selflessness over everything. They help the Factionless. None of the rest of us can say the same. My mind goes over the possibilities and any solutions. If I run, if I try to stop her, she'll kill me. She'll kill my parents and my little brother, regardless of the fact that he's only 14 and we're all Erudite. I choke suddenly as my throat tightens in panic and my hands shake.

I throw myself forward to land on my hands and knees. I'm a survivor. I can do this. I'm not so important that they couldn't do it without me. That doesn't comfort me but my body slowly calms down. I close my eyes tightly and wish for strength for what's going to come.

“I'm sorry,” I whisper to the empty room. “I'm so so sorry.” Above all else, I'm selfish.

 

* * *

 

The car is silent. Jeanine is staring out of the window, watching the people we pass disinterestedly. I stare at the tablet in my hands. The agenda is already memorized but it's easier than thinking about the last week. I let myself mourn the night that I broke down for what's coming, what's going to happen to people, before compartmentalizing it and putting it away in my mind. If I want to survive, I can't let it control me.

“We're here,” the driver says.

The Dauntless compound looks as inviting as the people who live there. We're in front of a large glass building. The building doesn't look like much, but I remember reading that most of their home is underground. The one thing I never understood about the Dauntless is how they lived underground but climbed so high. It was one of the reasons I never considered it.

I wait for Jeanine's door to be opened by the driver before I exit the other side. It gives her a sense of importance.

Outside the building, the leader, Max, and the other one, Eric, are waiting. We walk over to them and I keep my pace just slightly slower than Jeanine's.

“Max, Eric,” she smiles at them, reaching out a hand to shake theirs.

“Jeanine,” Max greets, shaking her hand. Eric follows suit.

“Let's get to it, shall we?” Max nods and leads the way into the compound. I follow Jeanine in after him and Eric takes the rear. The inside of the building is well lit due to the glass, but I stop suddenly as I look around. There are no stairs, no railings...only pathways on edges that led down. The statistics of me falling to my death are high. My throat tightens.

“Afraid?” Eric's voice is in my ear.

“How can I not be?” I answer without thinking. I regret it instantly. Fears can be used against you. I should have more control over myself, despite being here. Jeanine and Max don't seem to have realized that I stopped.

I feel a hand on my waist and suddenly I pitch forward over the edge with a shriek, into the dark pit below. I'm struck with one thought: they know. My heart pounds wildly, my mind whirls over any possibility of survival before I'm pulled back just as quickly into a hard chest. I can barely breathe as I realize I haven't died. Is this a trick? A game? The chest is moving though, and I can hear him laughing behind me. My face burns in embarrassment and anger. This was exactly what I was afraid of and he used it against me. I want to throw him over the edge myself.

“Leave the girl alone,” Max's voice calls out. I look up to see that he and Jeanine have stopped and are looking back at us, frowning.

“Please don't frighten my assistant, Eric,” Jeanine says calmly. “I'd hate to have to train another one.” Her tone is icy and I take a deep breath, knowing through it that she finds me valuable. They turn back and continue walking forwards. I step away from his chest and the arm around my waist.

“Why did you do that?” I demand, turning to glare up at him. The top of my head reaches his shoulder. He's taller than I thought. The smile on his face fades into a smirk.

“The only way to get rid of your fear is to face it.” He stands a little straighter.

“I don't need that kind of help,” I whirl back around, ignoring him behind me. I have to catch up to Jeanine. I stay close to the wall. I'm calmer now, focusing on each step I take, but I can still feel his arm around my waist and his chest against my back. The probability of him failing to catch me runs through my head. I still want to throw him over.

 

* * *

 

We pass a few Dauntless on our way down. They send us confused and dark looks, muttering to themselves as soon as they see us before noticing the leaders guiding us. I watch as their eyes go from Max to Eric and they fall silent, passing quickly without another word. Were they given a warning look or did Dauntless never question their leaders?

The room they lead us to is the control room. It's not what I expected. As soon as we enter we are faced with a wall of screens. There is movement on every one. I look over them quickly. The outside of the Candor headquarters, the Factionless sector, the courtyard of Erudite, the farms of Amity...they can see everything. It's unnerving.

“Leave us,” Max says and I realize that there is another Dauntless in the room. She's standing, half facing the screens on the wall, near a desk that has a computer on it. I've never seen a female Dauntless up close. It seems strange to see a woman here, in a place that strives off fear and strength. Most of the women I know are soft, distracted in their research. I know I don't belong here, but I feel it more profoundly as I look at her. She's tall and the tight dark clothes of the Dauntless show off her muscles well. Her dark hair is pulled back into a ponytail showcasing the shaved side. She looks between all of us before nodding.

“Yes sir,” she says, her voice lower than I expected. Max waits until the woman is gone.

“This is the control room,” Max says. “From here we monitor everything in Dauntless and in the city. It's the safest place for what you want.” He walks over to the computer on the desk. I never put much thought into computers, focusing more on people and sociology. Computers were simple compared to people. “All of the messages are sent through here. Anything you send will need to be in code.”

Jeanine nods. She's probably already thought about it, but I make a note in the agenda as a reminder. “And the equipment?” She asks.

Max nods to Eric who is still standing behind me. He moves towards one of the other walls. There's a door against it, almost hidden in the dark. He opens it and through the door is empty space. It's a decent sized room, smaller than the labs at Erudite, but it could work.

“What are the dimensions?” I ask them, opening a file for notes on the tablet. If we move in equipment, we'll need to know the amount of space we have to best utilize it.

“Twenty by fifty, giving you about 1000 square feet,” Max answers. I type it in quickly, thankful that he's leading the meeting. The less I have to talk to Eric, the better.

“That should be suitable,” Jeanine says. She walks forwards into the dark room and looks around. “We'll need computers,” I take notes, tapping quickly on the tablet, knowing that she's mostly talking to me. “Lab equipment. A coding system will also be needed as well.” Jeanine's mind moves quickly, going from one thought to the next, in rapid concession. It used to be too fast for me to copy every word she said until I developed shorthand. There are few who understand it.

I follow her into the room and look around. If we set up the computers, we'll need more than equipment.

“How's the ventilation?” I ask, looking up at the ceiling. I can't imagine much air gets down here. There's no answer. I look back through the door towards the men. Both are standing up straight, but while Max is keeping his gaze on us, listening intently, Eric looks bored. Jeanine smiles at Max and motions towards me. “Amelia will be overseeing the transfer of goods. You're to give her everything she needs.”

Max nods. “This is the best ventilated room in the compound with the computers. The air shaft up towards the back corner is connected to the main airflow that comes in from the outside. Fans are always on.” I write it down.

“And outlets? How many are here or will we need to send in workmen for that? What's the wattage like?” Jeanine looks pleased at my question and I watch as Max enters the room with me.

“You have outlets on those two walls, two on the left and one on the right,” he says as he points at the walls that are on my sides. “We can increase it as necessary but the power supply we get is constant due to the cameras; current comes to about 80,000 watts.”

We'll need more.

“I want the cameras here increased,” Jeanine says suddenly. It makes sense to have the extra security. I add it to my list. I look to Jeanine and nod. There's more to do but I have the information I need to get started. “I expect that you will memorize the encryption we decide on and the only conversation about this remains between us. Understood?”

Both of them answer yes.

She walks out of the room and continues on past me until she reaches the door that leads out of the control room. “I'm arranging a meeting of the leaders of each Faction to speak about Divergents. Amelia, what's the schedule for the next few days?” I look down at the tablet in my hands, clicking out of the notes and into the agenda quickly.

“Tomorrow you have a meeting with Henry, from Communications, in the morning. The afternoon you booked for the lab. The day after, you have a meeting at 10 in the morning with the volunteers for the Aptitude tests this year, but nothing booked for the afternoon.”

“Excellent,” she says. “I expect you to be at my office at 2 sharp. Write it in, Amelia, you'll be joining us.” I do as she asks. I've joined her before, taking notes so that she can focus on everyone.

“We'll be there,” Max says.

“Good,” she says. She looks at Max and nods, “Until then. Eric, I trust you'll see us out.”

“Of course,” Eric answers, looking briefly at Max before walking to the door and opening it. I catch a glimpse of Max's frown before it disappears. Jeanine leaves and I move quickly to catch up to her, ignoring the leader of the Dauntless.

The way out of the compound is quieter than the way in. Eric leads the way and I recognize the turns that we take to be opposite of the way we came in. My hands are shaking and I keep feeling like I'm going to fall over the edge, despite keeping to the wall, but I'm thankful that I'm behind them. It's safer. I can watch both of them from here.

* * *

 

Stepping outside feels like freedom after the Dauntless compound. It's bright and the air is clean. We stop before we get to the car and Jeanine faces Eric.

“I expect to see you at this meeting,” Jeanine tells him leaving no room for argument in her voice.

“I'll be there,” Eric says.

“We'll talk more then.” She doesn't say goodbye, instead turning towards the car.

I don't want anything to do with Eric after the stunt on the walkway, but I'm going to be working with him. I reluctantly nod at him before following after her. I can feel his stare on my back.

She waits until we're halfway to Erudite before speaking again. “Call the other leaders of the factions and inform them of the meeting. It is not optional.”

“Okay,” I say, writing myself a reminder. She's not done though.

“I want you to read up on encryption. I expect a report with a coding system that will work for communication with Dauntless by that meeting, understood?” Oh god. I have no idea how to encode anything, especially using computers. Two days isn't enough time.

“Yes, ma'am.” Any plans I had for the next two days vanish in an instant. I'm going to be spending my nights in the library. It doesn't fill me with excitement like it used to.

 

**[tbc]**

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A meeting about the dangers of Divergents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who is reading this, especially to those leaving comments and kudos. It means a lot. Another huge thank you goes to my beta reader Sarah. This chapter is a bit longer than the others. Enjoy.

**Chapter Four**

 

The meeting was pushed back to the next week. There was an emergency at one of the labs and Candor requested a different date to settle an argument in their faction. There were always arguments in Candor and I've never been more grateful. It's given me the one thing I needed: time.

The report that Jeanine requested on encryption was more difficult than I expected, as well as the map of encryption we would use. I read the research over once, then again while writing out the important points before finally doing the report. The map proved to be more difficult. I searched through various histories on codes before finally adapting them to one that I liked. Jeanine proofread it twice before she was satisfied. I've barely slept and it shows. My hair is slicked back in a tight ponytail and the blue dress I'm wearing is immaculate...my face however is not. There is no cure for bags under the eyes. Thankfully, the frames on my glasses do wonders to hide it.

The meeting between the leaders is held in one of the Erudite conference rooms. We're the first ones there, which is not surprising. Jeanine likes to have everything prepared beforehand, even herself. I think that she likes to make them feel uncomfortable, like the fly entering the spider's web.

“Amelia,” Jeanine calls me from where she is standing, looking out of the window towards the Millennium.

“Yes?” I ask, stopping my organization of the meeting notes and walking over to her. One of the Factionless should be arriving with soda soon.

“A healthy body is a healthy mind,” she looks at me, scanning me over with her eyes. “You reflect me. I expect that next time you will do better.” A blush stains my cheeks. I was wondering when she would comment on the exhaustion.

“Yes, ma'am,” I say quietly. It's not the worse thing that she could call me out on but it still stings. She continues speaking, ignoring my embarrassment.

“When the meeting is finished, you will walk the leaders out.” I haven't had much time to think about the Dauntless leaders, but the thought of seeing Eric just reminds me that he tried to push me into the cavernous pit. I stop myself from clenching my hands. “Dauntless will wait until the others are gone. Give them the codes then.”

“Yes ma'am.”

There's a knock at the door that stops any further thought. I go to open it, seeing the Factionless man we were expecting with a tray. He enters and I watch as he sets up the glasses in front of each chair. He's dressed in a patchwork of colours from the factions. Red pants and a grey shirt; the same colours of Amity and Abnegation. I wonder what it must be like to be Factionless. There are no rules, no reasons to always be on your guard...just mundane work. How boring and how humiliating it must be to live with the knowledge that they failed. I don't understand how they can live with it, but then again, how will I live with what's coming?

I'm pulled out of my thoughts as the Factionless stands against a wall and waits. There's another knock at the conference door and slowly, the various leaders come in.

 

* * *

 

It's never quiet when the leaders get together, at least not at first. Despite their agreements that working together is necessary, none of them really get along. Seating is hell to arrange. I'm sitting against the wall, behind and slightly to the left of Jeanine with my tablet open to take notes. It lets me observe everything without technically being a part of the discussions.

On Jeanine's left is Johanna Reyes, the representative from Amity. Amity, Abnegation and Candor don't have leaders. Instead, they chose as a faction someone to represent them as a whole. I didn't use to think it was much of a system, but after recent events...having a representative that listened to the faction might be a better idea. Johanna is unsettling to look at with the large scar that runs down the right side of her face from eyebrow to lip. It's unusual to see, especially in Amity, and I don't know what happened or why it was never healed properly in the first place, but she's rather cheerful for someone who's been blinded in one eye.

Next to Johanna is Marcus Eaton, the representative from Abnegation. He's dressed in the standard grey of his faction and smiling as he talks to Johanna, but his eyes shift towards Jeanine and harden. It throws me off. I've never seen any of the Abnegation look anything but kind. Jeanine thinks he'll be useful. She's had him researched, sent people to delve deeper into why his son transferred to Dauntless. I've seen her smile when she's talked about him and that's never a good thing.

Beside Marcus, directly across from Jeanine, is Jack Kang, the representative from Candor. Out of all the factions, they make me the most nervous. Candor are trained from birth to spot liars in everything from body language to tone of voice. I don't know how, but I avoid them whenever possible, just in case. I can't risk slipping up and being called out on being Divergent publicly. Luckily, it's not odd because most of Erudite don't interact with Candor. They don't seem to understand that lies can be necessary.

Lastly, between Jack and Jeanine are the Dauntless. There are five leaders in Dauntless but I've only ever seen Max before. At least until Eric showed up. I don't know why out of all of the factions Dauntless has the highest amount of leaders. I'm not even sure what they do. Only Max has been sent as their representative in the two years I've worked for Jeanine. Today, the two of them are accompanied by another. It's a woman with dark blond hair that's tightly braided down her back. She's wearing a blank tank top and pants, but what catches my eye isn't the scar on her shoulder. Her expression is blank, like she's seen everything and is not impressed. I wonder if she knows what the others are planning, if they've involved her too. I hate not knowing. Max is leaning forwards, engaged in a conversation with Jack. Eric is opposite. Leaning back in his chair, carefully watching his surroundings. He's silent. He must feel me staring because he looks away from watching Marcus Eaton and catches my eye. The bored look is slowly replaced with that smirk that I'm beginning to hate. I want to slap it off him. Instead, I narrow my eyes and Jeanine stands up, ending the eye contact.

“Thank you for coming,” her voice is grating as usual but I've adapted to it. Judging from the wince on the blond Dauntless, others haven't. “I've asked you all here so that we can discuss one of the problems in our city.”

“Pardon me, Jeanine,” Marcus interrupts. “Shouldn't you have called a council meeting for this?” She just smiles slowly. Council meetings are open for audience to anyone in the city. This is only the beginning. She's aiming for the head before targeting the masses.

“I wanted to keep it less formal for now. Ladies and gentlemen, the issue I wish to discuss is Divergents.” The word alone sets my teeth on edge. I want to fiddle with the remote for the slideshow I've prepared for Jeanine, but I don't. I've learnt to control the outward appearance of my nervousness, but it doesn't stop instinct. I watch as those not in Dauntless look around and murmur to each other. Nothing is clear though.

“Divergents are a myth,” Marcus scoffs. “A fairytale for children.” I look at him in surprise. I expected Jack to say something. Candor are always willing to argue, especially with Erudite. Coming from an Abnegation, it's...surprising. I can't see from my position, but I imagine the look of steel has entered Jeanine's eyes. If there's anything Jeanine loves, it's a challenge. She's prepared for this.

“Amelia, the slides,” Jeanine orders.

I click the button to show the first one. It's a graph showing the statistics of the hypothetical rate of increase in Divergents over the past ten years. I am one of those numbers. “If you look in front of you, there are papers to assist you in following along. They're yours to keep.” Johanna is leaning forward, looking at the paper with a slight frown. Jack is staring Jeanine down, watching and waiting, and I can see Marcus looking at the screen. The Dauntless haven't moved. “The statistics show that the rate of Divergents emerging in our society is increasing.”

I've heard this speech before. Jeanine's practiced it to me twice, once to make sure I changed the slides as appropriate, despite the fact that I put it together for her.

“How do you know this?” Jack asks suddenly. “Where does this research come from?”

“We're Erudite,” Jeanine says. Her left fingers twitch at her side for a second, hidden by the table. She's annoyed. “We know everything. As for the research, those in the Sociology sector recognized the pattern of statistics through the numbers submitted after initiations. They looked into it further and brought it up to me. I was concerned.” The other leaders are silent. “Divergents pose a threat to our society. They lack the ability to fully conform into the factions, opposing everything that we and our ancestors have worked towards. This lack of ability to conform leaves most Divergents Factionless. ” I click to the next slide. It's a clip of violence in the Factionless sector. She got it from the Dauntless security cameras. “The Dauntless, our protectors, have had to redouble their efforts in the last five years as more and more Divergents join the Factionless ranks.” She motions to the three Dauntless leaders. Max nods.

“It's true,” he says.

I move to the next slide, one that showcases the symbols of the factions and Jeanine continues. “The factions were put in place by our ancestors to create harmony, a world where everyone has their place. Faction before blood.” She's passionate, I'll give her that. If I hadn't been exposed to her constantly for the last two years and helped create the speech, I might fall for it. “This peace is at risk, more than ever before and the threat is  _inside_ our walls.” She pauses, giving the others time to think about what she's said. Johanna looks like she's politely listening but knowing Amity, they won't make any promises yet. They like peace but they vote on everything. I can only see Max and the woman from Dauntless. The woman's face still doesn't wear any expression but there is a glint in her eyes that alarms me. It looks like the insanity that the Dauntless are famed for. “We need to know more,” Jeanine says. “In order to keep our society thriving, we need to rise up to this challenge as leaders of our community. Divergents are a threat, but only because we don't understand them. If we could learn more, find them a place in our society that will help us prosper...we could create a better world. One that exceeds what our ancestors created for us.” One that would put them in the history books. She doesn't say it though, and I wonder what she sees in them that I'm missing. 

“What I'm asking of you is to keep an eye out, watch for the signs.” It's another cue to change the slide. This time it's signs of Divergence. I've read through them. Most of them are blatantly obvious, focusing on the idea that signs of Divergence are more evident after initiations. “The clearest sign of Divergence are those who suit more than one faction, despite their choices. Someone who strives for peace, but with their fists. Someone who lies while claiming to tell the truth. Someone who is aggressive but wickedly intelligent. Those who cannot adapt to one faction like us.” She doesn't mention the Aptitude test results. The ones that are almost impossible to fake. All Aptitude test results are recorded in Erudite. Those that have to be entered manually are given to Jeanine. Even if your tester tried to help, there was no hiding.

I was warned with my results to not go near Erudite, my home faction...to transfer to somewhere safe, like Abnegation. I didn't listen. Sometimes the safest place for the mouse to hide is directly under the lion's nose.

“In the papers in front of you there is a list of signs with a few aimed to your faction. The easiest way to spot them is in the initiation tests. With this years Aptitude tests coming soon, I ask that you pay close attention to those joining you. It is only through our constant vigilance that we can continue to keep our society safe, or let it crumble around us. Which do you prefer?” I can hear the smile in her voice and I turn off the slides. It's time for discussion.

“And what,” Jack asks, “do you want us to do if we find one?” I shift in my chair, moving slightly so that I could see the others better. Jack is watching her carefully, eyes travelling over her body looking for clues in her speech. I force myself to remain still. My stomach rolls thinking about her drive to wipe Divergents from the face of the earth.

Marcus is silent, the creases in between his eyebrows gaining more of my notice than the clasped hands on the table in front of him. He looks concerned.

“Bring them to us at Erudite. The more we understand about these...anomalies, the better chance we have to stopping it and protecting our people...our children.” She says it straightforwardly, like it should be obvious to everyone there.

“You want to test them?” Johanna asks, worry in her voice.

“We want to  _understand_ them,” Jeanine stresses. 

“But-”

“She's right,” Max's voice is sharp, cutting across the others with no difficulty. “We need to keep the peace,” his eyes flicker to Johanna with a curl of his lip. “Surely you'd understand that.” Johanna's voice is soft in reply.

“Peace is something we understand, but I don't believe that you do.” Her voice gains strength. “Would it not be better to welcome these people? You mentioned finding them a place in our society. Surely we can avoid this...chaos you think will happen if we allow them to thrive.”

“And if someone in Amity has an argument and murders one of your people?” Jeanine asks, calm as ever. “They won't conform to the peace Amity requires, nor the truthfulness of Candor, the...selflessness of Abnegation or the bravery of Dauntless.” Jeanine sounds more determined than ever. Her conviction is in her tone. “These are people who will not fit in our society, who will bring danger to us all. I'm asking that you be aware, look around, and if you see anyone who fits the profile, inform either us at Erudite or our protectors of Dauntless so that we can monitor them. We just want to keep the city safe.” There is a moment of silence that breaks when Marcus finally speaks.

“If you think this is as severe as you say,” his eyes are hard. “Then it is a matter for the council. The statistics that you have given isn't enough to warrant an investigation on simply anyone that someone may not agree with. It is a serious accusation. While we,” he motioned to the others, “appreciate your concern for our society, I don't think that Divergents are a thing to be worried about at this time.” Jeanine's body has tensed and I can only imagine that while she is smiling, her jaw is clenched. It's not a good move for Marcus.

“That may be,” Jeanine's voice is hard. “But we're not talking about a moth around a candle that is simply an inconvenience. We're talking about an invasive species, the kind that if left unchecked will dig into the roots and grow until it finally consumes everything it touches. What will happen when you can't control your faction? When our people stop listening, stop trying and everything shuts down? Will we let it grow out of hand when we can work towards controlling it now?” Jeanine takes a deep breath, reigning back the fierceness she let show.

“Thank you Jeanine,” Johanna speaks suddenly. “We know that you're just worried about our city and that is an admirable trait. I will need to speak to my faction before we come to a decision,” Jeanine nods her head and Johanna smiles. “I'm sure we all will keep an eye out in the meantime, just in case.” Typical Amity, trying to keep the peace.

“I, too, will need to speak to the others,” Marcus says.

“As will I,” Jack agrees. “This isn't something to be taken lightly. We'll speak about it in depth.” That was Candor code for more arguing. We probably wouldn't hear from them for a while.

“Of course. Thank you all for coming.” Jeanine motions towards me. “My assistant will show you out. We have cars available to take you home.”

The leaders slowly stand, talking amongst each other softly. There is a tension in the air and it has nothing to do with the fact that Johanna and the Dauntless are avoiding each other like normal. I stand, straighten my dress and smile. The sooner I get out of the room, the sooner I'll feel like I can breathe again. I clutch my tablet and the folder with the codes closer. Jeanine has turned away to look out the window. I can only imagine what her mind is strategizing.

“If you would all follow me, please,” I ask. Marcus, the Abnegation representative, hears me first.

“Of course.” I wait until the attention from everyone is on me, ignoring the fact that I know Eric is staring at me, before I lead them out of the room.

 

* * *

 

  
It doesn't remain silent for long. No one speaks to me, following dutifully as I lead the way through the halls and offices, but that doesn't stop them from speaking to each other.

“I don't believe Jeanine really meant to scare us,” Marcus is talking quietly to Johanna at the back of the group but I can hear them. She'd want me to listen in. “She's most likely just worried.”

“How does it feel to know that you are so insignificant in their eyes that they don't see you as a threat, not even working with Jeanine?” The voice is soft, close to my ear and I don't have to turn around to know it's Eric. My jaw clenches to keep myself from saying anything back. I don't know how he made his way to the front of the group, but I don't look. I won't give him the satisfaction of getting under my skin. It's quieter behind me and I realize I missed the rest of the conversation between Johanna and Marcus.

We arrive the at the elevator that will take us to the first floor. I press the button to go down and the group behind me falls silent. It's easier to talk about people when you think you won't be overheard. Elevators are no place for privacy. I motion for everyone to get on ahead of me, stalling only when Marcus refuses to get on before me.

“I insist,” I say after he threatens to take the stairs. I try to appeal to his selflessness. “It would help me if you would get on so that I could complete my job.” My voice is hard, but he is wasting time. A hand grabs my upper arm and I am pulled into the elevator. Marcus gets on only when he sees there is still room, and I turn to glare at my attacker. Eric is standing next to me, hand still on my arm, smirking. “Let go,” I demand quietly. He does slowly as the doors close but doesn't move. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up as I feel him next to me. I want to flee.  
  


* * *

 

Outside the Erudite building, I direct everyone to the cars that are there to take them back to their factions. Johanna and Jack both thank me, getting into separate cars and going in opposite directions. Marcus refuses but not for long. I watch him as he gets into a car. I expected more of a fight. The three Dauntless refuse a car, claiming to wait for the train. No one argues.

I wait until I'm sure all the cars are gone before handing Max the folder I have with me.

“When should we expect you?” Max asks, flipping through it before handing it to the woman.

“I'll call you to arrange it. I'm going to need people to carry some of the supplies in. We also have to revamp the power supply, so I'll have to make another visit to get the specifics and decide if we need a contractor. I'll let you know.” The woman hands the folder to Eric who glances at it but doesn't hand it back to Max.

“Good,” Max nods. “Eric will be your guide in the compound. He'll arrange everything for you.”

I glance at Eric who looks amused. They were leaving me with the one person who's already tried to kill me. I grit my teeth, and smile as I reply, “Great.”

 

**[tbc]**

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner with the family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all SO much for the comments and kudos. I'm so glad you like it. This is a bit of a shorter chapter and I know some of you will be disappointed that there is no Eric, but I'll make it up to you. Thank you to Sarah, my beta reader, for all of her help. Especially with this chapter. Enjoy.

**Chapter Five**

My family makes it a point of having dinner together once every month. It's been more difficult since I started working for Jeanine and our schedules often clash but we try. It's more than I can say for other families. Erudite doesn't see much gain in emotions, not when there's more to learn.

“Did you hear? They're revamping that old building next to headquarters. Thomas heard one of the older kids talking about it today. Apparently his father is one of the designers,” Brighton says. Despite my mother's many warnings, my brother is leaning forward with his elbows on the table. It's not too difficult a feat for him to accomplish. At 14, he is all limbs.

“That's true,” my mother answers in her soft voice. “They were in the archives last week, looking up the old blueprints for the building.” My mother is a librarian in the archives. It suits her meticulousness well. She gives my brother a pointed look and Brighton gives a sheepish grin before pulling his elbows off the table.

“Do you know what for?” Brighton has asked questions all his life. If there was anyone made for Erudite, it's him. I'm surprised by the sharp relief I feel at that thought. He won't be in danger, not like I am.

“A new testing facility,” my father answers from his place at the head of the table. He would know. He builds and designs new technology for Erudite. He'll probably help build the machines for testing Divergents. Something catches in my throat. I never considered that my family would be involved in this through their work. Me? Yes, but not them. I can't picture my small father causing any harm to anyone, not with his easy smile and hazel eyes. I share his eye colour but my eyes don't shine like his do. “We're working on the new equipment now.”

Brighton's eyes widen at the news. They're the same as my mother's. “What type of equipment?”

“The same as usual,” my father says with a shrug. “Nothing too exciting.” That's a lie, they just don't know it. The new testing facility will be used for Divergents.

“What about you, Amelia? You have to know what it's for, working for Jeanine,” Brighton asks. It draws my parent's gazes to me. I take a sip of the orange soda in front of me, biding my time. I can't tell them the truth.

“It's just an expansion,” I say quietly. “We're hoping for an influx of initiates soon. We'll need room for everyone to do their research.” Brighton goes back to his speculations when I don't offer more. There's an ache in my chest as I watch them interact. This used to be easy. I've kept secrets from my family before, but this isn't a secret about which boy I like or how I read up on something I wasn't supposed to. This is worse.

“He had the nerve to argue! With the teacher!” Brighton's in the middle of telling a story about a Candor arguing with one of his teachers as it hits me. I can't tell them stories like this. I can't share my day. I can't tell them about how I was pushed, nearly falling into the bottomless pit in the Dauntless compound. I can't tell them how scared I am that one day I'll walk into work and never see them again.

I stare at the food on my plate. I'm beginning to wonder if I even belong here, with my family. How can I when they don't know me anymore? I don't think I even know who I am anymore.

I can't eat, but when I catch my mother watching me out of the corner of her eye, I swallow some more bites. She'll persist if she thinks something is wrong. I can't deal with that too.

“Well I, for one, am glad to hear that the factionless are finally settling down,” my mother says. I've missed part of the conversation. “The Dauntless has been quite persistent lately and it shows.”

“Indeed,” my father agrees, pushing his glasses up his nose. “It's good to know that things are getting back to normal. We can't have them causing too much trouble. There's too much to do.” I can't stop the small smile that appears. It was a typical thing for my father to say. He preferred to always be busy, which somehow balanced well with my mother's need for organization.

“Right,” Brighton says quickly. He's always admired our father. He used to dress up as him and walk around wearing our father's spare glasses, trying to fix things. Brighton's hand twitches towards his face, as if to fix glasses himself before he remembers he hasn't earned them yet. Only initiates who pass earn their glasses. “It's good to see that they're doing something useful in the city.”

“They protect us,” my mother's voice has a stern tone. “We have a valuable relationship with the Dauntless, one that serves us both well.”

“I know,” Brighton sighs, looking over at me and rolling his eyes. I stifle my laugh. I have different opinions of the Dauntless but it's nice to have Brighton try to joke with me about our parents. We haven't spent much time together since my initiation. It's another crack, widening the gap between my family and myself.

“Forget the Dauntless,” Brighton suddenly says. He's looking at me eagerly and I know what's coming. “What's work like?” Brighton has long been fascinated with Jeanine for her intelligence. He wants to be just like her. The thought makes me sick.

“Tiring,” I say. It's the most truthful thing I've said all night.

“Working hard?” My mother asks.

“The Aptitude tests are coming up. There's a lot of preparation.” Luckily, that's another truth. I give them a small smile. “Nothing I can't handle.” They've seen me look frazzled around previous Aptitude tests, so I'm not surprised when they don't press further.

“Of course,” my mother says. “We've never had any doubts about your capability.”

My brother cuts off anything else she might say. “Is there anything you can tell us? What's she working on? Anything exciting?” His elbows are on the table again.

“Some,” I say. He hangs off my every word when I talk about work. Despite the fact that he says he likes to brag about me, I can't help but doubt it. I think he likes hearing about Jeanine. This is a perfect opportunity though. I can bring back our camaraderie. I have to try. I give him a small smile, almost teasing. “I can't give you everything. Do your research.” It works. He perks up in his chair, grinning at me with that same smile our father has.

“I am!” he argues. “I'm conducting a survey, obviously. Asking questions is a key part of forming a hypothesis.”

“True, but when faced with an obstacle, you have to find another way,” I reply. I take another sip of the soda in front of me. Our parents are watching with a smile.

“Maybe, Brighton,” my father says, “you're not asking the right questions.” There's that familiar twinkle in his eye and he winks at me. I sit back and wait.

“Is it about the factionless?” Brighton asks. “Is she developing a new serum? Can you tell me what she's working on right now? Do you transcribe all of her notes? Can I meet her?” He barely breathes in between his questions. My mother stands up suddenly.

“Brighton, it's time for personal study,” she says.

“What?” Brighton looks stunned. The look is comical enough that I have to stop myself from laughing. “But Amelia was just about to answer!”

“Sorry Brighton,” I smile. “Looks like you'll have to find another method of research.” He scowls at me.

“That's cheating!” The good mood that built up during my teasing evaporates. I want to tell him that life isn't easy or fair. Things like this will prepare him for that. I stop myself though. I don't want to ruin him like this. It's easier to be happy in ignorance. I know that from experience. Instead, I watch silently as Brighton glowers at me before he retreats to his room.

 

* * *

It's quiet. My father is in the other room, tinkering with some machine at his desk. I stand at the sink with my mother, helping her with the dishes before I go home. She's taller than me so she dries them and puts them away while I wash. We look similar, sharing the same dark hair and build. If it wasn't for the height difference, we'd be identical from behind. The mundane actions of washing is surprisingly relaxing. I used to hate it.

“Are you sure you're alright?” My mother's voice is quiet, low enough that only I can hear her. I look at her in surprise. She dries a dish and puts it away but she doesn't look at me. I stare down at my hands, submerged in soapy water. I used to think that my mother knew everything. She worked in the archives, she had to. I know better now. The less she knows about my work or Divergence, the safer she is. The safer they all are.

“Yes,” I say softly. “I'm just tired.” My throat closes up and my eyes feel like they're welling up with tears. I shut them, take a deep breath and try to relax.

“Of course,” she agrees. It sounds like she's hesitating but she continues. “We know that you can handle it. Our leader chose you, Amelia, out of everyone else.” She places a hand on my arm and smiles. It should be comforting but it just feels like added weight. “I know you'll make us proud.” I force a smile and nod. I'm going to be sick.

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amelia visits Dauntless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the comments and kudos. They mean a lot. I cannot express the joy I feel when I get an email that notifies me of them. Thank you, as always, to Sarah for being my beta reader. As promised, here is some Eric and Amelia interaction. Let me know what you think. Enjoy!

**Chapter Six**

There was only so long that I could avoid going to the Dauntless compound. I managed it for a couple of weeks, dealing with other work and reports while researching the necessary components to building a computer laboratory. When I could no longer put it off, I called Max, cleared it with Jeanine and her calendar, and made an appointment.

Eric is waiting outside the same entrance that we used before. It feels safer to watch him from the car as we arrive. His arms are crossed over the black shirt and vest he's wearing, showcasing the muscles and tattoos he has. His black pants are tucked into large black boots. His blond hair still looks ridiculous and he's scowling in the distance until the car gets closer. The scowl slowly changes into a smirk. I take a deep breath as the driver comes to open the door. I can do this.

“Amelia,” he says slowly, drawing out my name. I ignore the shudder that goes down my spine.

“Eric,” I greet shortly. I want to get this over with. “Shall we?” His eyebrows rise in surprise, but he nods.

“Of course,” he motions me forward towards the door. I don't move. The last time he was behind me, he nearly killed me. We both know this, so why...? I catch his eyes and I see it. He's toying with me.

“Lead the way,” I say. “I'd rather not get lost.” He grins suddenly, opens the door and strides forwards without waiting. I race to catch up.

 

* * *

I'm going to kill him. I'd have to apologize to Jeanine and Max, but I could deal with it. It would only be a small addition to everything else. Eric leads the way, but doesn't take the same route we had taken before. This one twists, gains height and goes over narrow ledges. My hands are shaking, clutching my tablet like it's my only lifeline. I know he's doing it on purpose. Each time we've come to a higher height or people push past to get by me, they send me questioning looks and force me closer to the edge than I ever want to be. Each time, he looks back at me with that smirk. Every time I see that look, my temper spikes and I get closer and closer to pushing him off the edge myself.

We finally arrive at the control room. There's someone sitting in the chair, staring at the screens like before. This one, however, isn't told to leave. The man just turns, looks at us, and nods. His hair is short and bright green. I can see the dark tattoos that lace up his arms and slide under his shirt. Eric pauses at the door that leads to the other room. He opens it and ushers me through, his hand touching the small of my back lightly. My skin prickles. His hand is large and I can feel the warmth of it through my shirt. He shouldn't feel like this. I breathe out slowly through my nose, letting him guide me into the room and not fleeing from his touch. I don't need him to use anything else against me.

The door closes behind him and for a second I'm filled with fear that he's leaving me alone in the dark. The thought vanishes when the light suddenly comes on and nearly blinds me. My eyes adjust quickly. I look around the room, gaining my bearings as I mentally recount the outlets. He's staring again. I can feel his eyes on my back as I open my file of notes on my tablet. I've catalogued everything that the room would need to support the amount of computers Jeanine wants in here.

“We're going to need better air ventilation in order to keep things at a cooler rate for the machines. Lighting needs to be improved.” I don't expect an answer as I mutter to myself, making adjustments to my notes.

“Hmm,” I hear him behind me. I ignore it.

“Once that's done, we can begin moving in the materials and setting everything up,” I say. I look up at him. He's watching me carefully. “Where's the contractor?” I ask. They were supposed to supply someone who would be able to make the changes I need. Eric doesn't answer. He moves forward, away from the door until he's standing a foot away from me. I have to look up at him. There's a look in his eyes, almost like he's amused though nothing has happened.

“It's funny,” he says, “how she sends a secretary to do her dirty work.” The word alone itches under my skin. I want to break eye contact, to look away or hit him. I don't.

“I'm an assistant. This is me assisting.” I force a small smile at him, holding back the response I want to give him. “If I'm not mistaken, you're the lackey. Aren't you the one at  _my_ beck and call? ” 

It's the wrong thing to say. He steps closer; the amusement is gone and replaced with a cold stare. I can see the earrings in his ears, black and larger than I thought was possible. The piercing above his right eye stands out against his skin and I want to know how it works, how it stays. I knew he was tall, but he's broad as well, and it feels as though his presence is suffocating me. My mouth goes dry and my entire body tells me to flee, like I've woken an ancient bear from hibernation.

“I would watch what you say to me,” he says, his voice low. “Anything can happen here.” I pull back at the threat. I remember the twisting paths with no protection to keep you from falling into the cavern. I want to retaliate but I don't. I break eye contact and look away. It stings to purposely admit defeat but this needs to go smoothly. I need to be more careful. I can't bring Jeanine's attention onto me more than it already is. I don't know how volatile he really is, but I can deal with him.

“You're right,” I agree, looking back up at him. “I apologize.” He blinks at me before his eyes narrow. Was he expecting something else? My heartbeat is still erratic but I didn't think my voice wavered. “We have a lot of work to do. Where's the contractor?”

He steps back, opens the door and says something to the man at the screens. After a moment, someone else walks in. He's dressed like the typical Dauntless, his pants and t-shirt are all black. He's closer to my height than Eric's. His head is shaved and there's a piercing in his lip.

“This is Cam,” Eric says, motioning to the newcomer. “He'll arrange for everything to meet your expectations. Cam,” He looks at the man, before motioning to me. “This is Amelia. She's a secretary-”

“Assistant,” I snap, interrupting him. Damn it. He's doing it to purposely agitate me. His lips quirk up into a smirk like he's just won something. He looks far too pleased to have said it by accident.

“What do you want?” Cam asks. He sounds rude, but the Dauntless usually tackle things head on. It's no surprise they speak the same way.

“We need a better ventilation system, more lighting, and more outlets with a higher wattage of power coming through,” I answer. Cam walks around the room, looking closely at the current vents and outlets.

“We can do it,” he says, “but we'll need more materials than we have here. What's the room for?”

“Simulations,” Eric answers. He stares at Cam, as if daring him to question him. Cam just nods.

“I can have all the materials provided,” I say. “I'll need a list and the specifications, of course.” It will have to match the dimensions of the room. Allies or not, we can't be too careless with our supplies.

“Yeah sure,” Cam says. “Give me a day to measure it and figure out what you need.”

“Bring me the list when it's done,” Eric says. “I'll make sure she gets it.” Joy. More contact with him. I nod when he looks at me. “Anything else?” I glance at Cam who's started to walk around the room.

“Not yet,” I answer. “We'll arrange a shipment of goods. I assume you're more than capable of moving them in?” I glance at Eric. He looks back at me with raised eyebrows. I can practically hear him calling me an idiot for asking. “Good. How long will it take?”

Cam answers me. “Judging from what you want? It'll depend on how soon we get the materials. Once we do, it'll take maybe a week or two to get it all in place.”

“I want to be informed immediately as soon as it is,” I declare. Cam nods. “Thank you.” I say to Cam who looks back at me briefly before nodding. I look at Eric. “I'm done here.”

 

* * *

Despite the fact that the control room is now organized, there is more to do. The Dauntless need to increase their security to match Jeanine's wishes. One thing that Jeanine was insistent about were more cameras. Walking around the compound is more nerve wracking then walking into it. Eric isn't leading me over tricky paths, but he is leading me to more empty corridors and he's close. Instead of walking ahead of me, he's right behind me. I can almost feel the heat rolling off of his body. I can't relax. I don't trust him not to do something now that he has the advantage. I feel like the hairs on the back of my neck are standing up. He's too large and he's too close.

“There will be more surveillance equipment in the shipment,” I say quietly. I feel like my voice will echo off of these walls.

“Does it bother you?”

I steel myself against Eric's words. The last time he started something like this, he was trying to antagonize me. “Does what bother me?” I ask.

“That you're going to go home, do your research, and be stuck as Jeanine's secretary for the rest of your life.” My jaw clenches at the use of the word secretary. “You're her pet, Amelia,” he drags out my name again. His voice is low. “At her beck and call, night and day. She does call you at night, doesn't she?” Jeanine calls me whenever she thinks of something important, which is constantly when I'm not at the office.

I can't help myself. Despite the famed emotional control Erudite are supposed to have, that I'm supposed to have, I react.

“Unlike some people,” I snap back. I stop and turn to face him. He's only inches away. He's smirking at me and it just irritates me more. I come up to his shoulder and my gaze lands on the tattoos on his neck. I wonder if they continue further down where I can't see them before I glare up at him. “I don't rely on brutality to get what I want. I am bettering my faction and our society. Say what you like,  _Eric_ , but my intelligence caught Jeanine's attention. While you may be  _ one _ of the leaders of our security, I have the ability to climb even higher. You answer to Jeanine now. Who do you think you'll be answering to when she steps down?” It's nothing even close to the truth. I don't want to be a leader of a faction. I don't want that attention.

It's enough to rile him. His arm moves and I'm slammed against one of the walls, his hand at my throat. He's no longer amused. I knew he was strong, but application is different than theory. I've never seen this kind of strength, not at Erudite. His strength and my fear are what keep me pinned. My breath is coming out in gasps and my eyes widen. I mentally berate myself. I'm not supposed to call attention to myself, but he angers me like no one else. I wait. Any remaining anger melts into fear. He doesn't yell, doesn't growl or threaten me like I expect him to. His hand loosens on my throat and I watch as he starts to laugh. It's a low chuckle, but it's more unnerving than his staring. I don't understand what's so funny. My heart pounds in my chest, threatening to explode. He motions me forwards and starts walking. I follow slowly. After what happened in the control room, I can't stop myself from being tense. All signs point to the fact that he should have reacted more violently than he did. I feel like I missed something, some key point that occurred in between pushing me against the wall and laughing.

I don't say anything for the remainder of the walk. I take notes and ignore the way he looks back at me. My mind isn't quiet. Despite my careful notes, my mind whirls over every possible reason for his reaction. Nothing makes sense. I only start to relax when I realize I recognize the path he's leading me on. It's the way out.

I stand next to the car with Eric. He opens the door for me, waving back the driver, and waits. I can't ignore him now. It would be too obvious.

“I'll be in touch,” I say carefully. His eyes glint in amusement and something darker. I can't place it. I watch as his lips slowly move up into the familiar smirk. He looks like Jeanine does when she's faced with a puzzle. Fear settles into my chest. I get into the car, waiting for his next move.

“I look forward to it.” He slams the door close and I turn to my tablet, ignoring his presence outside my window. It's only once the car is moving that I feel like I can breathe again. I look at the tablet only to realize that I can't read my notes. My hands are shaking.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amelia returns to Dauntless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so very much for the comments and kudos! They are incredibly encouraging. Thank you to Sarah for being a wonderful beta. Demands were made, so here's the next chapter. Let me know what you think. Enjoy!

**Chapter Seven**

It's been over a week since I got the list. It had everything I requested on it: all the materials they need and an explanation for each amount with the dimensions and requirements of the room. I wonder if Eric made sure it would meet my approval before I scowl at the thought of him. He is a problem I don't need. I am under enough pressure remaining the perfect Erudite while working under Jeanine's nose. I don't need another set of eyes constantly watching me. I don't want his interest. After the last time, I needed to be more careful. I can't let him get to me again.

The truck that is used to transport the materials doesn't ride as smoothly as the solar powered cars do. I feel every bump in the road and it does nothing to sooth my anxiety about our destination. There's a loading dock at Dauntless, hidden away from the main entrances. It's perfect. While some of the Dauntless are aware that the control room is being expanded, we don't want all of them asking questions. The less people know, the better.

Eric is waiting at the loading dock with other Dauntless members. I recognize Cam and the one with the green hair who was in the control room when I was last there. I assume they were chosen because they know about, or in Cam's case they're doing, the construction. The other two, I don't know. They're both men. One of them has tattoos that crawl up his neck and onto his skull. I don't stare like I used to, but I can't help but wonder if it hurt. The skull is a sensitive area. The other one has no visible tattoos on his dark skin, only piercings on his eyebrows and lips. I feel inadequately plain in my appearance compared to them. They all watch silently as we arrive.

I have to wait until the truck is backed up against the dock before I can get out. The driver is supposed to come around and help me down from the cab. I'm not that short, but jumping down isn't something I want to attempt in heels, even if they are low ones. The door opens and I turn, holding my tablet in one hand and reaching for the driver's hand with another. The large, tight grasp on my hand doesn't belong to the driver. I look up and Eric is standing outside the door. My jaw clenches.

“Eric,” I greet.

He tugs on my hand, pulling me closer to the door before letting go. I should have known he wasn't going to help. I shift forwards, ready to get out on my own, when hands grip my waist, pulling me out of the cab. I gasp. One of my arms wraps around his neck tightly, holding on as my feet are in the air. My other hand is clutching my tablet to my chest like a lifeline. The panic I feel has nothing to do with him touching me, but everything to do with the fact that I can't do anything about it. Then, after what feels like minutes instead of seconds, I'm lightly set down.

“Amelia,” he says, sounding far too amused for my liking.

I look up at him, pulling my arm down from his neck. His eyes are a dark blue. He looks amused but there's something else there. It's that same dark look when I last left him at the Dauntless entrance. I still can't place it and it makes me uneasy. I step to the right, out of his hands that nearly encompass my waist. It makes me feel small, almost fragile, and I hate it. I am not weak. I can't be. I move towards the truck.

“Everything is here,” I say to Eric, taking a deep breath. I feel like my voice is shaking. I look at the driver, who is glancing at each of the Dauntless. He looks nervous. He opens the back of the truck quickly. Once Eric motions his men forward, the driver scrambles away from them. Some of the men chuckle. I watch as one of them pretend to leap at the driver. They laugh harder when he jumps away. I should help him, make them stop, but I can't bring myself to do so. He should be smart enough to figure a way out himself.

“Twitchy, isn't he?” I glance at Eric. He's watching the men unload the truck with a smirk. I'm grateful that for once, it's not aimed at me.

“Most people are with Dauntless,” I reply.

“You aren't.” I turn towards him. I'm not afraid because, according to the research, there's something wrong with me. I don't fit. He's watching me closely though and I can't say that I don't believe in being afraid of people just because they're different.

“Jeanine scares me more,” I say wryly. It's the truth, one that he can't use against me, and it makes him laugh. This is the most civilized conversation we've ever had. Is it the presence of the others? That didn't stop him from nearly throwing me over the ledge though. Suddenly uncomfortable, I turn away. Only the driver is left out of the others. “Once everything is moved inside,” I say, “I want to go over and make sure you have everything.”

“Didn't you do your job?” he taunts. I take a deep breath and exhale slowly, trying to remain calm. I promised myself I wouldn't let him get to me.

“Of course I did,” I reply, looking over my shoulder at him. My tone is more snappish than I mean for it to be and I try to reign it back. “I want everything to be perfect. The sooner we can get it set up, the better.”

“Of course,” his voice is deep and I ignore how amused he sounds. “Can't let Jeanine get angry.” I look over at him and he raises his eyebrows quickly at me. I shouldn't have said anything. The Dauntless men return and carry more stuff out of the truck. This is going to take awhile. I shift, stepping lightly to the side, and consider how bad it would look if I leaned against the truck. While my heels are comfortable, there's only so long that will last. I don't do it though. Surrounded by Dauntless, giving in to my body's limitations feels like weakness.

Eric moves and leans against the wall of the compound, facing me. I look down at my tablet, opening the agenda. Jeanine is currently in the laboratory according to the schedule and tomorrow is filled with meetings with the communication department. I know all of this already, having entered it myself, but I need something to do. I feel my skin prickle with awareness and I look up. He's staring again.

“What?” I ask, closing the agenda and pulling the tablet to my chest. It's illogical to feel more secure holding a piece of technological equipment, but I do. It's like a safety net of Jeanine's influence.

Eric tilts his head and crosses his arms. His lips quirk up slightly. “What, what?” he asks. I should have known it wouldn't be easy.

“Why are you staring at me?”

“I need a reason?” His eyebrows raise and I suddenly feel like I'm missing something. I watch him carefully. One foot is propped up against the wall behind him and he looks like a cat ready to pounce. I think of every possible reason he keeps staring and none of it is good. I want to run away from his analyzing eyes.

“Most people do,” I say, proud that my voice is calm.

He tilts his head but his eyes never leave mine. “Hmm.” There is a lot of meaning that could go into that sound. My eyes narrow, wondering what he sees. I'm wearing dark blue pants and a light blue blouse. There's not much to 'hmm' about.

He pushes off the wall and strides towards me. I maintain my ground and when he stops in front of me, my head actually reaches a little above his shoulder. It's not much, but its enough that I don't have to strain my neck to look up at him. I can't help but notice that he has a long, straight nose and a strong jaw as he speaks. “How's your brother?” My blood goes ice cold.

“How do you know I have a brother?” I whisper. He shouldn't know about him. He smirks down at me.

“He's younger, isn't he?”

The fear burns into anger in my chest. It is one thing to pretend to push me over a cliff or into a wall, but my family is off limits. I step forward with a glare and poke him in the chest. It hurts my finger more than I suspect it hurts him. “How do you know about him?” I demand. His smirk widens, like he's enjoying my reaction. It fuels my anger and I have to stop myself from pushing him. “Tell me!” Eric leans down, his face next to mine. I can almost feel his lips on my ear. I jerk back but his hand clamps down on my arm, stopping me from going further.

“How do you think?” he asks quietly. He's testing me. My jaw clenches and I can tell by the heat that my face is flushed with anger. Jeanine herself chose me and he's _testing_ me?

He pulls back suddenly and I look to see the men have returned for the last batch of supplies. “Come on,” Eric says, beckoning me to follow as he goes after the men. I have no choice. I need to know more.

* * *

I figure it out by the time we get to the control room. The time and space away from him clears my head. Eric used to be Erudite. Either he still has connections, or he watched me enough when I was still in school with my brother that he saw us together. It's the most logical answer. His memory is impressive, I'll give him that, but I'm still angry. Unfortunately, I can't decide whether it's with him or myself. Am I putting my family in more danger by trying to hold on to them? My doubts pull at me. I have to protect them. I have to protect myself.

Max is waiting in the control room when we arrive.

“Go,” Max says, motioning to the unnamed men to leave. “Hatch, watch the monitors.” The man who doesn't have tattoos on his dark skin nods, throwing a smile towards me before sitting down in front of the screens. The green haired man and the one with tattoos on his scalp leave and don't look back. Max ushers us into the other room. “Everything went well?” he asks and I nod even though Eric answers.

“Yeah,” he says. “She wants do inventory though.” Eric nods in my direction. Max looks at me.

“As I told Eric,” I say, “I want to make sure you have everything.” I open the tablet and find the right file. “Let's get this over with. I need someone to assist me.”

“Eric will,” Max says. His tone is light but I can see sternness in his eyes. Eric raises his eyebrows at Max before turning towards me. It's an interesting exchange and it's enough to explain the slight tension in the room. Max is exuding his authority. Even though the leadership is supposedly equal in Dauntless, did experience rank the leaders against one another? Cam leans against one of the walls, watching us all. Despite the fact that Max and Eric brought him on, he's an unknown variable. I don't like it. There are too many unknown variables surrounding me.

“Well?” I look up at the sound of Eric's deep voice. He sounds annoyed and I have to stop my own smirk. He's not infallible.

“I'm going to read out what you should have, and you tell me if it's there,” I say.

“Okay.”

* * *

  
It doesn't take long before all the supplies are counted for. Surprisingly, Eric was on his best behaviour during the process. It seemed that having other people around tempered his actions towards me. If I could only remain surrounded by people, this might go smoothly.

“Alright,” I say, closing the tablet. I look towards Cam and he stops his discussion with Max. “How long will it take before it's ready?”

Cam shrugs. “About two weeks, but longer if something comes up.”

“Make sure it doesn't,” I say, channeling my inner Jeanine. It's alarming how easily it comes to me. “I want to be informed _immediately_ once it's finished, understood?”

Cam nods.

“Good.”

I turn towards Max. “I need to get back to Erudite.” I'm hoping he'll lead me out himself, or send Cam, but it doesn't happen. Max's eyes look past me and Eric steps forward, away from the boxes.

“Follow me,” Eric says, opening the door and motioning me out. I leave with him behind me.

* * *

  
 “What's so important at Erudite?” Eric asks and I look back at him in confusion. He waves his fingers in my direction. “You're racing.”

“I'm not racing,” I say. “I want to get back before my driver has a heart attack.” I continue forwards in the direction he gave me when I hear his pace quicken behind me. My body tenses. I'm pulled to a stop as his arm goes around my waist and pulls me back into his chest. I'm still facing forwards but I can feel his chest move against my back with every breath. If I lean back, my head will rest on his shoulder. What is he doing? My brain runs through all logical explanations and nothing makes sense.

“Are you sure that's the only reason?” his voice is in my ear, quiet in the empty corridor. I can't help the shiver that runs down my spine. His voice sounds promising, like he knows something that I don't, but he'll tell me. My heart pounds.

“That, and I have a large amount of work waiting for me.” His grip is tight but he lets me push his hand away. I move away from him, suddenly desperate for space. He's too close and I can't think. “The sooner this is done, the less I have to be here.”

“Don't like us?” he asks. That dark, amused look is in his eyes again but the shadows of the corridor make it look fiercer.

“I'm Erudite,” I say slowly. I don't know what he wants. “Of course I don't like you. You're insane.” He laughs that low chuckle again before walking past me, brushing my shoulder with his arm. Irritation flares up in me. Why must he keep touching me?

“Of course we are,” he says. “We're Dauntless.”  
 

* * *

  
My driver is waiting inside the truck. He looks relieved to see me when I open the door, but I ignore him. I have more pressing matters to deal with and if he can't deal with being left alone for an hour, that's not my problem. I turn towards Eric.

“Be sure to inform me as soon as the room is ready. I want to get everything prepared as soon as possible.” I wait for him to nod before I continue. “I also want the status update on those security cameras. We'll be linking the feeds to Erudite.”

“I'll inform you immediately,” he says with a smirk. I don't like the way he says it, like there's some connotation that I'm missing.

“Good,” I say. I turn to the truck, grasping the rail to try and pull myself up into the cab. I feel the weight of his hands on my waist before he lifts me high enough that I can easily climb in. My throat tightens and I look out at him. “Thank you.”

He nods. “I'll see you soon,” he says. I hope not. I reach for the door but he grabs it and slams it shut for me. My eyes narrow as I watch him through the window. He's a contradiction, an enigma. He's confusing me and I don't like it.

I look at the driver. “Let's go.” The sooner I'm away from this place, the better.

 

**[tbc]**


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Choosing Ceremony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot express my gratitude to all of you for the comments and kudos! They helped pull me through writer's block. Thank you all so much! (Also, a thank you, as always, to Sarah for being an amazing beta reader)

**Chapter Eight**

I've never been more wary of the Aptitude tests than I am now. Jeanine has demanded that any inconclusive or manually entered results be brought straight to her...by me. I know what she's looking for. Divergents don't test well, not in simulations. Most of the children on the list won't know why it's inconclusive. They won't know what's wrong with them or why it is enough to sentence them to death.

“Amelia,” a woman's voice calls my name. I look up from my desk to see Catherine striding towards me. She looks formidable as always. Her dark skin contrasts the pale blue dress she wears and her hair is slicked back in a tight knot. She's holding a paper in one of her hands. It must be the results. My chest tightens.

“Catherine,” I smile and nod. She doesn't smile back. Catherine is older than me by a few years. She used to be friendly until I became Jeanine's assistant. I would say that she's jealous, but Catherine has always been pure Erudite and jealousy is an illogical, useless emotion. It's possible that she is though. Despite the direct focus of each faction, that doesn't stop from people from feeling any emotions...it just changes how they deal with them. This is my biggest problem with my Divergence. Logic, want and emotion remain consistently at war.

“Is Jeanine in her office?” she asks, pulling me from my thoughts. “I have the results she asked for.” I reach out for them but she doesn't offer them forward.

“She's in the lab. I'll make sure she gets them,” I say. Jeanine's lab is private and no one in Erudite dares to disturb her. Not when she could be making the next big discovery. The light glints off of her glasses and her lips press together momentarily before she hands me the sheet. I don't look at the names. I don't want to know.

“Tell her if she needs anything, I'm happy to assist her,” Catherine says.

I nod. “Of course.” She stares at me for a moment before turning and leaving the way she came. I wait until she's out of sight before I stand up and grab my tablet and the paper. Jeanine wanted the results immediately.  


* * *

  
Jeanine's lab is smaller than the other labs in Headquarters. She'll send out work to other labs, usually the more tedious aspects, but she prefers to work on her own. That way, there's no one else who can ruin her work. She's a little paranoid about it too. It explains why she's been talking about upgrading the security measures, away from the current finger print scanner and sealed door.

The hallway is empty and I turn into the lab only to stop suddenly. The way is blocked. The door behind me closes and locks shut. There are lights coming from the blue walls and the floor. My heart rate rises in panic. What is this? Has Jeanine finally found out about me? Is this a new form of torture? My hands clench tightly on the tablet and list as the lights focus on me. They appear to be scanning me. What do they see? I look back towards the door I came in from. There's no way out.

“Amelia Elswood,” I jump at the sound of an automated voice. I can't tell where it's coming from though. “8th  generation.” 8 th  generation? What does that mean? “Faction of origin: Erudite. Selected faction: Erudite. Authorized.” The door across from me opens and I have to blink at the sudden light. I move out of the room and into the lab quickly. The white walls seem unusually bright with the lighting, making the rectangular room look larger than it is. Everything, from the computers to the beakers, is organized, neat and clearly labelled.

“Jeanine?” I call out. She's staring at a light box that's posted on a wall. There are scans hung up on it and as I get closer, I recognize them to be scans of the brain. Jeanine looks over as I get near.

“What do you see?” she asks, gesturing to the pictures. I stand next to her and face them. There's nothing unusual that pops out but I have to drag up what I've learnt about the brain at school.

“The temporal lobe is fairly large, and the hippocampus is larger than usual,” I answer. The temporal lobe is in charge of memory, learning, language and emotions. Jeanine is looking at me like she's waiting for something. The hippocampus is also important to memory. I remember her lecture on how the brains of those in each faction differ from each other. “Is it an Erudite?” Jeanine nods and smiles.

“That's right,” she says. “Once we find our test subjects, we'll compare the results. Further testing will help decide how the simulations affect the Divergents and how we can overcome them.” She sounds pleased. It's another challenge that awaits her.

“I have the results,” I say, handing her the paper in my hands. “Catherine brought them a few minutes ago. I would have been here sooner but your new...security delayed me.”

“What did you think?” she asks.

“It surprised me.”

“Anyone not authorized is subjected to a simulation and then to death.” She says it so matter of fact, like there is no other solution possible. I shouldn't be surprised by her anymore, but I am. It seems rash, even with her paranoia. I don't let my surprise show. Jeanine looks down at the list. “Tomorrow, I want you to take note of who changes their faction and who doesn't. Pay close attention to these,” she hands the paper back to me. I don't want it. I don't want to be responsible for what might happen to them, but I take it. “Have the rooms been prepared for the initiates?”

I open up my tablet before I answer her. “Yes. Separate rooms for the boys and girls, close to the study areas. The librarians have been reminded to take note of who remains in the library the longest. The tests should be arriving from the teachers by the end of the day.”

“Good. Inform me when they arrive. That's all.” I know a dismissal when I hear one. Jeanine turns away from me, heading to one of the computers on the desk. I go back the way I arrived. My stomach clenches when I get into the little blue room. I half expect it to scan me again, even if only in search of stolen work but it doesn't. Instead, I leave the lab with fear settling into my stomach. Jeanine didn't tell me about the new security. It reminds me that she could be hiding anything from me and I won't know until it's too late. It's a sobering thought.

I'm in the elevator going down when I finally look at the list. Four names out of forty-three kids. I hope they're smart.  


* * *

  
Choosing day is always the same. A representative or leader of a faction leads the process, saying a variation of the same speech explaining our society's history and the choice that lays in front of them. This year, it's Jack Kang.

“Welcome to this year's Choosing Ceremony; a time when the youth of our city make the most important decision of their lives,” he says with a smile. I'm sitting close to the front of the Erudite section, next to Jeanine. The room is quiet, but I can see some of the children shifting where they're standing off to the side, away from their families. It makes the division between them and us so much clearer. “Our ancestors created the factions in search of peace in a time of war. Each faction represents a quality that they thought might be the key to this peace: Candor's honesty, Erudite's intelligence, Amity's kindness, Abnegation's selflessness and Dauntless's bravery.” He motions to where factions sit as he lists their qualities. “We are united by this, for while each faction enhances our society with their individual traits, we go beyond that, working together to maintain the peace of our ancestors. Our factions are our life and in them we find our meaning and purpose. I know that you will choose well.” He smiles at the group of children. “Let us celebrate this day as we welcome our new initiates, and our dependents make their choice.” The hall roars with applause and I clap along politely. There's nothing exciting about this.

Jack moves behind the large bowls where the choice is made and calls out the first name. “Robert Ward.” He isn't on the list. The boy moves forward to the bowl, dressed in the black and white of Candor. He takes the knife from Jack and drips his blood in the bowl of glass. Candor welcomes him back.

I look around the room. The first name on the list likely to come up starts with an R. I look at the soon to be initiates, wondering if I can guess which ones are the ones on the list. Are they the ones who look nervous, twitchy as they wait for their turn? Or are they like I was, confident in their decision?

Closest to the group of kids are the Dauntless. A sea of black that cheers and stomps as they welcome an initiate; Derek Taylor. The boy returned to his home faction and blends in perfectly. Continuing my perusal, I can see Eric, recognizing him easily from how often I've spent time with him lately. I quickly look away. I still don't know how to deal with him. He seems adamant in invading my personal space when we're alone and I can't seem to think around him. That's not good. My mind is the key to my survival. The one good thing about welcoming initiates is that it will give me time to think about it.

“Vera Rayne.” The first on the list. I watch as the Amity girl walks up to the stage with a smile. She doesn't look nervous. She takes the blade from Jack and slices her palm with a wince. Her hand lingers for a moment before she moves and chooses Erudite. I hold back a sigh and mark it down in my tablet. Regardless of my choice, I don't think anyone who is Divergent should be near Erudite. Nonetheless, I clap as we welcome her into the faction. I half hope she doesn't make it, that she ends up factionless. She might be safer.

The next one on the list is an Erudite. Sarah Mercer. She stumbles as she walks up to the platform and her face turns red in embarrassment as some of the Dauntless and Candor laugh. She takes the blade Jack offers her and doesn't hesitate. She chooses Abnegation. They clap politely and I can see Jeanine's eyes tighten at the sides, betraying her annoyance at one of her people leaving for a faction she dislikes. I mark it down. So far, all of the names on the list have transferred. I don't think it matters though. If Jeanine has her way, no faction is safe.

“Henry Foster,” Jack calls the next on the list. A boy in Candor black and white struts forward, away from the remaining dependents. He takes the knife quickly from Jack and drips his blood onto the hot coals. The Dauntless cheer but my heart sinks. It's the second most dangerous place for Divergents and I don't think he'll survive. Not with Eric and Max there. The only place more dangerous would be Erudite where Jeanine would have a closer eye on him. I write it down, feeling like I've just signed his death.

The last is Charles Chu. He moves forward carefully, as if aware of all the eyes on him. He takes the blade with a smile and pauses before he cuts his hand. He waits, looking over the bowls. I want to tell him to choose Abnegation or Amity, but instead the young Erudite chooses Candor. There are murmurs through the Erudite faction around me. They've lost another one and to _Candor_ of all factions. Candor is well known for their use of the truth serum, forcing your secrets out into the daylight. I hope he knows what he's doing.  


* * *

  
The Ceremony is over and the Dauntless leave in a rush, yelling and running out of the building. I stand with Jeanine and watch as the new Erudite initiates talk to one another. It's a small group this year. I move forwards with Jeanine, close to the stage and face them. Jeanine nods to me.

“Erudite!” I call out and watch as they all turn towards me. The Abnegation sector is quietly talking amongst themselves as they wait. Amity is greeting each other with hugs as they leave through another entrance. “Follow me.” We save the introductions for when we're away from the other factions.

The group follows Jeanine and I out of the building to Erudite headquarters. It's a short walk but it doesn't stop the new ones from talking. Once we are in the Erudite building, Jeanine stops to face them. The families who came to the Ceremony drift off, going back to their work. If their children stayed, they'd see them on Visiting Day.

“Welcome,” Jeanine says with a smile. The group quiets down. We've received about thirteen initiates this year between the transfers and those that were born into Erudite. “I am Jeanine Matthews, leader of Erudite. You will have separate sleeping quarters arranged by gender.” Her voice goes hard, “these are _not_ to be changed. The library will be open to you at all times. You will be required to submit an independent study project at the end of the initiation as well as pass the tests given. Those who do not pass will be sent to the factionless.”

Some of the initiates mutter between themselves but no one speaks up. Behind them, I can see Riley Givens appearing from the elevators. One of the top educators, he would be leading the initiation. I lean over slightly towards Jeanine.

“Riley is here, ma'am,” I say softly. She looks above the initiates and motions him forward. Some of them look back, looking for who she's motioning for. Riley walks around them. He's tall and gangly, with sandy blond hair that is cut just short enough to be neat. His glasses are large, obscuring his face and the keen intellect behind his eyes. He smiles at us both as he arrives, stopping on the other side of Jeanine.

“This is Riley Givens,” Jeanine says. “He will be leading you through your initiation as well as through the rules of Erudite. You have chosen to be the new generation of Erudite. I expect only the best from you,” she pauses and looks over the initiates. It's enough to cause some of them to look nervous. “I look forward to hearing your results. Good luck.” She turns away from the initiates and heads toward the elevators. I follow, hearing Riley introduce himself behind us. She waits until we're alone in the elevator before she speaks. “What are the results?”

I open my tablet to the file where I've marked down the names and chosen factions. “All of them have transferred to Erudite, Dauntless, Abnegation and Candor.”

“I want reports on the Erudite transfer. I want to know what she's researching,” she says. I wonder if she did the same when I entered. Had I been under watch without knowing, or was it different since I was Erudite born? “Inform Max and Eric to keep a close eye on their transfer. When is the next meeting with Candor?”

I open the agenda quickly. “The next council meeting is in a month.” Jeanine's lips press together. She's not pleased but she doesn't demand anything sooner.

“How is the construction going?” she asks instead.

“It should be done within the next week and a half. I've asked them to inform me immediately once it's finished so we can start getting everything moved in.”

“Good.” The elevator doors open and we step out towards her office. “I want to see it when it is completed.”

“Yes, ma'am,” I say. We get to her office and she pauses at her door before facing me.

“We may be in luck,” Jeanine says. “If that girl is what we think she is, this will increase the pace of our research that much faster.” My heart feels like it's stopped. _Our_ research? “I'll be in the lab this evening. Hold all my calls.” Jeanine goes into her office and closes the door. I have to stop myself from collapsing into my chair. I heard her right. Our. She said our.

**[tbc]**


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amelia gets a surprise or two...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness, I can't tell you how amazed I am at the response this has gotten so far. Thank you all so much! I'm sorry for the delay in the new chapter. There's been a lot going on and I have a new nephew now, so it's all very exciting. I was hoping to have more written ahead of what I post, but I got stuck with some writer's block and I think you all deserve this. Thank you for commenting and giving kudos! It means the world to me. Thank you also to Sarah who is the best beta I can ask for.

**Chapter Nine**

The next two weeks fly by. One of the initiates has already failed, having a mental breakdown as he prepped for his individual project. Vera, the possible Divergent, has chosen serums and how they work as her project. It's a dangerous choice. Jeanine has developed many of the serums and her interest has increased in the girl. She might let her finish the project before she makes her decision, just to see what the girl has to offer.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about Jeanine calling it our research. Despite the fact that she may have been projecting, seeing me as an extension of herself, it makes me nervous. It feels like added responsibility, like I'm doing it willingly instead of just trying to protect myself. I hate it. Guilt creeps up on me like a virus. I'm doing my best to shut it down, to stop thinking of what I'm helping and focus on my family. It doesn't always work. My throat tightens, my hands shake, and my stomach rolls. Nausea floods over me, goose bumps prickle over my skin when I even read anything about Vera. I need it to stop. I can't afford to react to this, not when it's likely to get worse.

It's the end of the day when Riley walks up to my desk. Reports about the initiates are sent in daily. The librarians tell me how much time each initiate has spent in the library. It's evidence that they will work hard and do research, which will work in their favour. Riley usually writes about the results of each test. The tests are sometimes random, and sometimes the initiates are warned, but judging form the look on Riley's face, today's results aren't good. I wait until he's in front my desk before I look up at him.

“Can I help you?” I ask. Usually he sends his reports in via message. This is the first time I've seen him since the Choosing Ceremony. He smiles widely. Riley has never been one of the people who have tried to use me to get close to Jeanine but I still don't trust him. I've seen him with others. Despite being one of the top educators in Erudite, he can be cruel to anyone he thinks less of.

“Amelia,” he says, “how long have we known each other?” His glasses glint in the light, blocking my view of his eyes.

“We've known of each other for two years,” I reply. Riley is older than me, closer to his thirties and highly ambitious. He was rising to the top before I came into the game. I never paid much attention to him, noticing him only when my work involved him. Even then it was fleetingly.

“I've been thinking,” he says, leaning against my desk. I bite the inside of my cheek to keep myself from replying. He looks like he wants something and I'm curious as to what it is. “You're one of Erudite's top members and so am I. I'm aware that you're single.” My eyes narrow. What is he getting at? “And so am I. I propose that we work together to solve this. We could be the solution to each others problem.” Dread settles in the pit of my stomach.

“What problem?” I ask.

“We could marry each other, that way it is out of the way, and we can continue to focus on our work,” he says with a smile. I stare at him in disbelief. I was getting proposed to...by theory? I have to stop myself from laughing in disbelief. “Both of us are at the top of our sectors, I don't see a problem in attractiveness on either side and our genes together will bring forth the next generation of higher intellect.” He looks proud and I have to wipe the stunned look off of my face. The next generation? I'll consider myself lucky if I make it through my generation. Divergence might be genetic. I didn't want to expose any children of my future to the same fear I live with.

The problem is his proposal isn't that uncommon. Erudite's focus is on work, on furthering society through intelligence. There are often marriages that are made simply for the act of procreating. There are laws in place that every family in each faction must provide at least two children to society. I had been so wrapped up in my fear, I never considered that it would be a possibility. No one had ever been interested in me like this, or I've never noticed if they have. It was odd to consider.

“Amelia?”

I look at Riley quickly and force a smile. He looks a little concerned. “Thank you,” I say. “It certainly does seem logical.” He smiles widely and I wonder briefly if I could marry him. If I wasn't Divergent would I end up with him? His gangly limbs remind me of my brother who has yet to grow into his. “However, I'm afraid I cannot agree to this at this time.” The smile slides off of his face and I watch as his eyes grow hard.

“Why not?” he asks.

“Because I am busy,” I say clearly. “I have no desire to consider marriage or procreation at this time. You have come to me in the middle of choosing initiates,” I don't say that its the precipice of war. “Let me think on it and I will give you an answer.”

“When?” he demands and I straighten in my chair.

My voice goes cold. “When I'm ready.” I take a deep breath. “Did you bring me the result of the tests?”

“Yes,” he replies, standing up and away from my desk. I've insulted him but I can't bring myself to care. He can assume all he wants that he is the best option, but he makes me sound like a trophy. The best breeding with the best. He's lucky all I do is delay him. “Two of the initiates are on the edge of failing.” Hope flutters that it's Vera. It's cruel, but I can't help it. “Derek Wells and Isabelle Olson.” I know the names. Isabelle hasn't set foot in the library since the tour, according to the reports. Derek has nearly failed all of the tests so far. “Isabelle passed with a 68 percentage but Derek passed by a mere 52. The others are all far ahead.”

“What about the Amity transfer?” I ask.

“She's been improving. Last test places her at a 74 percentage,” Riley says. “There more hope for her than the other idiots. Derek, I understand, he used to be Dauntless. All muscle, no brain, but Isabelle is born Erudite. You think she'd know better.”

“Hmm,” I say, not quite sure how to respond. I type out the results on my computer, filing them with the other ones. They're a low grouping for Erudite initiates. Usually the percentages are higher, averaging in the high 80s. Jeanine won't like that. She'll want better. Nothing that will surpass her, but maybe closer to me. I ranked in the high 90s. It was enough to gain her attention. I look up, away from the computer to see that Riley is still standing there. “Is that all?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.

His jaw clenches, but he nods. “Yes.”

I wait until he strides out of the office before turning back to my work. Marry him? I scoff to myself. It'd be like marrying Jeanine, and I already felt like I did that considering how often I am in contact with her. I take a deep breath and look back at the results. There are only two days left in the initiation process. Jeanine will get the individual assignments and the test results before making her decision about who will better the faction and who won't. I hope they all run while they can.

 

* * *

  
The eve before the Welcoming Ceremony is a noisy one at my family dinner.

“Are the tests hard?” It's the third time that Brighton's asked about the initiation process. He already knows too much and he's getting irritating. I don't reply, instead grabbing the bowl of vegetables that's on the table. My father is muttering about some machine that broke that morning. They still haven't fixed it.

“Brighton,” my mother says, “why don't you tell Amelia about school?”

“Because that's boring,” Brighton says. “She's been to school. I want to know how to score high on the initiation. It'll be my turn soon.”

“Not for a couple more years,” I say. Brighton frowns at me and I stop myself from rolling my eyes. “You'll be fine. I could test you now and you'd probably rank higher than some of them.” My mother throws a disapproving look at me for talking about it but Brighton's face lights up. It's worth it.

“I heard that Riley Givens stopped by your office today,” my father speaks up suddenly. I look at him and he's watching me carefully. I stuff food in my mouth and chew, trying to keep my annoyance from showing. I don't know how he knows about it, but my mother looks intrigued. It feels like more weight is pressing down on me. My lips press together as I think about it.

“Yes,” I admit, “he did. He proposed.”

“Really?” My mother asks. “Did he say why?” I look over at Brighton whose face is scrunched up. It matched how I felt.

“He thinks that since we're both high up in Erudite, it would be a beneficial match. Apparently our children would benefit greatly from our genes.” My mother has a calculating look in her eye. I hope she doesn't push it. There's too much that I have to worry about and most of it she can't know. I can't explain to her why I'm not interested.

“I hope you said no,” Brighton says. I look at him in surprise. “I don't like him.”

“I can't say I do either,” I agree. “I've barely spoken to him before today. He was rather...presumptuous.” It's the best way to describe him. Once again, I'm thankful that I wasn't born Candor. They'd see through me instantly.

“He has a point though,” my father says. I wish he'd drop it. “I'm not saying marry him, but look around. You're getting older.”

I sigh. “I'm aware of that, thank you.” He smiles at me suddenly and I feel myself relax at his teasing. “Are you looking for another son?”

“Hey!” Brighton protests.

“No,” my father says. “My children are my greatest creation.” A rush of affection spreads through me. I smile back at him. I was worried that this dinner would be as strained as the previous ones but the distraction of the initiates proves to be helpful for once.

“And mine,” my mother agrees. They make eye contact over the table and smile softly at one another. It's sweet. For a moment, I find myself wondering if I could ever find anyone like that. If I make it through this, I could find someone who was sweet and easily distracted. Someone who focused more on his work than on me.

“Ew,” Brighton says. “Can you save that for when I'm not here?” My mother laughs.  


* * *

  
There's a loud, pounding knock at the door. I look around, surprised. No one ever comes to visit my family during dinner.

“Brighton,” my mother says. “Go see who it is.”

Brighton grumbles about being the youngest, but his curiosity is betrayed by the quickness of his movements.

It's silent around the table. I can hear Brighton talking to whoever is at the door, but I don't hear the reply. Is it one of his friends? I look at my father curiously but he shrugs. I try not to frown. I hate not knowing something.

“She's in the...hey!” Brighton calls out. I hear feet coming down the hall, the steps too heavy to be my brothers. Eric appears in the doorway, smirking as soon as he sees me. Brighton is looking at me from behind him. The fury that I feel is almost overwhelming. I stand up quickly.

“What,” I demand, “are you doing here?” He should not be here. It was bad enough he knew I had a brother, but now he knows where my family lives. Fear builds in me. I don't trust him and I don't know what he can do with this information.

“You said to inform you immediately,” Eric says. He's taunting me again. I knew that word would cause problems, but I never anticipated this. I think quickly. I am used to people trying to use me for Jeanine, but nothing like this.

“Amelia,” my mother stands from the table, breaking the tension that has formed between Eric and I. I want to tell my family to hide, to leave the room while I deal with him so they're not exposed to him. I don't break eye contact though. “Who is this?” Eric smiles at her suddenly and I'm thrown by the difference it makes on his face. He looks pleasant. He'd be attractive if I didn't know him better. If my memories of him weren't filled with fear. The thought churns in my stomach.

“I'm Eric, ma'am,” he says, moving forward and offering his hand to shake. She does so and my father stands up from the table to greet him. I have to stop myself from yelling at them to stop. “I'm sorry for intruding, but Amelia and I have some business to take care of.”

“Of course,” my father says, but my mother looks at me with questions in her eyes.

“What type of business?” Brighton suddenly speaks up. He's looking at Eric with open curiosity. “Does it have to do with Jeanine?” Eric turns to look at me and answers the questions. I'm tense, prepared to pounce if he makes a move towards Brighton. His tone is friendly though.

“Dauntless and Erudite have always been close,” he says. He doesn't break eye contact with me and I have to hold back the urge to hit him when he smirks at me. “We're just bridging the gap that's left.”

“What does that mean?” Brighton asks. I act before Eric can answer again.

“Excuse me,” I mutter to them, moving forward and grabbing Eric's arm. He follows willingly as I pull him out of my parent's home.

I turn on him as soon as the door closes behind us. “What are you doing here?” I try to keep my voice down. My family is already going to ask questions. I don't need to add more fuel to their fire.

“You said to inform you immediately.” He smirks at me, arms folding across his chest. I glance at the muscles in his arms, which suddenly seem to stand out so much more than before. I ignore it.

“Yes,” I say and poke him in the chest. “Which means sending me a message, not showing up at my parents house!” I'm too loud. I take a deep breath, trying to calm down.

“Would you rather I showed up at yours?” He has that amused look on his face and I want to wipe it off. He knows where I live. The thought makes me shudder. That would have been worse. The people in my building were solitary and unlikely to get involved if he threatened me again.

“No,” I say. “I'd rather you message me.”

“Your codes are deficient,” he says lightly. “I didn't trust it.” Any chance of calming down is gone. Anger wells up in me.

“My codes are not deficient!” I practically snarl. It's alarming how easy he seems to get under my skin. I pull back, trying to regain control but he has that intense look in his eyes again and I suddenly feel like prey. My heart is racing. “Those codes,” I say, trying to appear unaffected, “were approved by Jeanine herself. They are not deficient.”

“I must have been mistaken then,” he says it like it's nothing. Like he hasn't just insulted my intelligence but he's watching me carefully.

“Indeed,” I grind out. “You can go now. I got the message.” I point the way towards the nearest train tracks.

“No,” he says before moving closer to me. I inhale sharply and instinctively move back.

“No?”

“No.” He doesn't elaborate.

It's almost like a dance. He moves closer and I move back towards my parent's house. It only lasts a few steps before my back hits the wall. I inwardly berate myself for cornering myself. I stand up straight, unwilling to back down any further. His arms rise up and his hands rest on either side of my head as he steps forward. I'm trapped.

“When can we expect you?” he asks, his voice low. My heart is pounding. I feel like he surrounds me. His body is almost touching mine and he smells like smoke and sweat. Heat flares through me unexpectedly. I glare up at him, annoyed at the cage he makes.

“Not for a couple days,” I say. “We have initiations to finish.” He tilts his head slightly.

“Good,” he says smugly “So do we.” My jaw clenches and I have to quell the frustration I feel.

“Good, we'll arrange it as usual.”

“Hmm,” he says. It's not quite an agreement.

“You can leave now,” I tell him. It feels like a stare down, both of us refusing to break eye contact. He leans forward and I tense, unsure suddenly as to what he's going to do. He moves slightly to the right, past my face and I feel his lips brush my ear before I hear him.

“Don't accept the proposal.”

I reel back and my head slams into the wall behind me. The flash of pain is enough to distract me as Eric pushes himself away, laughing. How does he know that? That information was new. He walks away from me, heading in the direction of the train. “'Til next time, Amelia,” he calls out. I lean against the house, heart pounding as if it's about to burst out of my chest. I feel like I can barely breathe. My theory about remembering my brother from school had been disproven the moment he stepped into my parent's home. He has to be getting information, but how?

 

* * *

   
My mind is whirling over possibilities, trying to figure out the source, as I step back into my parent's home. They barrage me with questions as soon as I enter the dining room again. I can see the nervousness in my father's eyes, like the thought of me working with the Dauntless doesn't agree with him. My mother is watching me carefully, but Brighton looks cautious. The impulsiveness of the Dauntless never sat well with him.

“How do you know a Dauntless?” Brighton asks. “What work was he talking about?”

“Are you okay?” my mother's voice is calm and steady. A lifeboat in the chaos of my mind. I look up at her and I realize I'm still standing in the doorway of the dining room.

“Yes,” I say. I sit down at my seat and continue eating, ignoring my mother's concerned stare. Brighton, seeing that I won't answer, starts telling his own theories, but I ignore him. I can picture Eric's face above mine, that irritating smirk on his lips. He had leaned forward...and I felt oddly disappointed, but I can't explain why. Frustration builds up in me and I stab at the left over meat on my plate with my fork. I have to cut off the source of his information. He already knows too much about me. I need to find a way to make him stop.

I stand up abruptly, cutting off my father who was speaking. “I'm sorry,” I say. Brighton looks intrigued at my interruption but my parents look slightly more concerned. “I have to go.”

“Why?” my father asks. “What's wrong?”

“Nothing,” I reply. “I'm sorry.” I leave before they can ask anything else. It's the first time that I leave one of our dinners early with no explanation.  


* * *

  
My apartment was a secure place that I could be myself. As I step into it, it doesn't feel like it used to. The knowledge that Eric knows where I live taints it. The idea that he could show up at any moment leaves me uneasy. I look out the windows and lock the door. The unease fades but doesn't disappear.

I sit down at my desk and grab a piece of paper. The effort of handwriting might calm my mind. I need a plan, some way to get his attention off of me. His persistence has been unwavering so far, but it needs to stop. I have to find another way to deal with him. He's proven that he's not above using scare tactics at my expense for his own amusement, but I don't know though if that's what he's after. If it's only for fun. I jot down notes on the paper before pausing. He knew about the proposal...but why does he care? Why does he want me to refuse it? There's a part of me that's half tempted to say yes to Riley just to spite Eric, but then I'd be stuck with Riley. It's a no-win situation.

Suddenly, I'm determined. I will not get stuck between Riley and Eric, not when my life is already on the line. I need to find his source of information and the easiest way to do that will be to find out who knew Riley was going to propose. The second course of action would be to find out exactly what Eric wants. The sooner I know, the faster I can find a way to end his interest. The initiations are over tomorrow. I don't have a lot of time.

 

**[tbc]**

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amelia is faced with new and old members of Erudite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know many of you have been waiting patiently for an update. I'm glad to say “here it is!”  
> I'm sorry about the delay. Life caught up to me, I got snagged by writer's block and then ended up writing more of an original novel I'm working on than this. Luckily, I am back on track, and with my beta's help....have we got things in store for you! I'm sorry to say that there's no Eric in this, but it's important. Trust me.  
>  Thank you to all of you who commented and left kudos. They inspire me! You guys inspire me! Thank you so much! Also, in case you don't know, I post update info, fanart that people are sending me (which I still can't believe) and more on my writing tumblr. Link is in the profile. Enjoy!!!

**Chapter Ten**

“And so, we welcome you as you pass from initiates to full members of Erudite. As you join us, working towards the betterment of our society, remember our manifesto. Remember i ntelligence is a gift, not a right. It must not be wielded not as a weapon but as a tool for the betterment of others(1).” Jeanine pauses and both the members and initiates of Erudite clap. She smiles at the large group. The Welcoming Ceremony is held in entrance hall to the building; it's the largest area that's available and most of Erudite is in attendance. The initiates are standing at the front of the crowd. Dante and Isabelle are missing. They were sent to the factionless sector last night, to be useful despite failing.

I'm standing off to the side, watching Jeanine interact with the crowd. They hang off every word, even the initiates. I watch as Vera, the suspected Divergent, looks proud. Proud at her achievement, for making it through the initiation. My stomach clenches. She should have run, but I could say the same for myself. I thought I was being smart when I made my choice, hiding in the lion's den, but I'm beginning to wonder what I'm giving up for my safety.

“I expect you will make us all proud.” Jeanine finishes, and the crowd claps again. I missed the rest of her speech, but it doesn't matter. I helped write it. Jeanine walks over to me, standing straight as she watches the initiates—now members—get separated into the different departments of Erudite. The leaders of each section will take them and place them where they will be the most useful. The choice of the sectors was made by Jeanine herself after looking through the results. Vera gets placed in the science division because the observations and hypotheses she made about the serums has intrigued Jeanine, even if she might be Divergent.

“Amelia,” Jeanine says quietly. Her eyes never leave the stage. “Explain to me why Eric was seen at your parent's home.” Panic lodged a lump in my throat. Of course she would know. It wasn't often that a Dauntless roamed Erudite at night. I take a deep breath.

“He came to inform me that the construction is complete. They're ready for the next step,” I say. She doesn't look at me. Oh god. I mentally check back over my tone. I didn't falter. She had to believe me.

“Our mission, Amelia, is of the utmost importance. It comes before any personal attachments, do you understand?” Her voice is stern, despite the smile on her face that I know is fake as she continues watching the end of the ceremony. I don't know why she's bring this up now, not when there are more private places to speak. Maybe she's expecting something, some reaction that I wasn't planning to give. The idea of a personal attachment to Eric makes me want to cringe, but her statement invokes fear in me. Personal attachments included my family.

“Yes, ma'am,” I say softly. She turns and looks at me. Her eyes are hard as she analyses my face and it feels like forever before she nods.

“Good.” She looks back at the crowd before turning away. The Ceremony is finished. “Come,” she says before heading towards the elevators. I look back at the crowd. Only a few people have noticed Jeanine leaving. Riley is one of them. I've avoided his glances through the ceremony. He's still waiting for an answer, going so far as to send me a reminder that today is the last day of the initiations. I still need to find out who knew about the proposal. I turn away and quickly follow her.  
  


* * *

 

Jeanine leads me to her office. 

“Sit,” she says, motioning me to the chair across from her desk. I do and wait. Once she's settled in her chair, she turns on her computer and looks at me. Her stare is piercing, and I stop myself from fidgeting under it. “I want you to watch this ...Vera carefully. Go to the gathering tonight and see what you can find out about her. Befriend her if you have to, understood?” Befriend her? It suddenly feels like too much. The girl is only a couple years younger than me. I don't want to be the cause of her death. I don't want to subject her to Jeanine. I nod anyways. “Good. Now that the room is ready, arrange for us to inspect it. I want to ensure it is up to our standards.”

“Yes, ma'am,” I say.

“Aside from the inspection, clear my schedule for the next two days. We are close, Amelia, to finishing the first serum for Divergents. It will be ready for trials soon.” I can barely breathe.

“That's good,” I remarkably manage to sound normal. “How will you be testing it?”

“We have volunteers,” Jeanine says lightly, “both in Erudite and Dauntless. We'll start with them and move on to the Divergents we find. When you speak to Eric, remind him that I want a report on the suspected Divergent in his training.”

I make a note of it in my tablet. “Yes, ma'am.”

“Good. Inform me when the inspection is. For now, go to the gathering. I'll be in the lab.” She waves at me to leave and I do so. Part of me wants to run, to see how fast I can get away from this place and Jeanine, but I can't. As soon as I'm gone, she'll suspect why. I can't leave my family, not to her, and I can't sign my own death warrant. I straighten my spine as I head towards the elevators and take a deep breath. I am more concerned about what I can do. I can befriend a new member of Erudite.  
  


* * *

  
After the Welcoming Ceremony, there is a gathering arranged in one of the lobbies. It provides a less formal setting where those in the faction welcome new members. There have been arguments in the past over whether or not it is necessary, after all, a gathering takes time away from work. However, the sociologists have made it clear that in order to have a successful faction, there needs to be a healthy foundation for all members. By introducing the newest members to those already well founded in the faction, it creates a comfort level in the new members. This ensures that the members start work comfortably and with a lack of fear or hesitance towards their superiors and companions.

The lobby is quiet, filled with low murmurs as small groups of people talk to each other. The groupings are fairly obvious. Many Erudites stay within their own research area, presumably to talk about more research. I catch sight of Vera standing to the side, talking to one of the scientists. I can't remember his name. I walk up to them and the conversation stops at the sight of me. It doesn't phase me. It happens often, particularly with those who have high ambitions, those who want to be on Jeanine's good side. The scientist smiles widely.

“Ms. Elswood!” he says, offering his hand to shake. I take it and offer a small smile of my own. “It's wonderful to see you again.” He glances at Vera who's looking at him in surprise. “This is Amelia Elswood, Jeanine's personal assistant. She was chosen by Jeanine herself.” I try not to sigh. He sounds like he's proud of me, but considering I don't know who he is, there's only one reason why. “How is Jeanine?” the scientist asks. “I hear she's working a new serum. I'm sure it's fantastic, surely going to do wonders for our society like she already has. I've been working on something myself,” I have to cut him off.

“I'm sure it's as astounding as you say,” I tell him quickly. “However, I need to speak with Ms. Rayne, if you don't mind.”

“Of course not!” His eyes widen and he smiles at Vera. “If Amelia wishes to speak to you, you can't let her wait.” I push down the annoyance at the familiarity he shows and watch as he looks back at me. “It was lovely to see you again, perhaps you could—”

“Excuse me,” I say, cutting him off. I grab Vera's arm and move her away from the scientist. Once we're far enough away, I let go of her. “I'm sorry about that,” I say, “but it I let him continue we'd never get free.” She looks like she's trying not to laugh. “As you've undoubtedly heard, I am Amelia Elswood,” I hold out my hand to her.

“Vera Rayne,” her voice is soft, but her handshake is strong. “Is there a reason you've sought me out?” I look at her closely. Her blond hair is pulled back in a typical Erudite bun. She's strong, years from working on Amity fields have toned her muscles, but small. She's my height.

“Yes,” I admit. “It's not often we get Amity transfers. I'm curious.” If she is Divergent, my questions should make her nervous. I want her to run before they decide what to do with her. She doesn't falter under my stare though.

“So was I. I wanted to know everything,” she says softly. She's watching me carefully though, as if expecting me to jump out at her. I was tempted to do it, just to see how'd she'd react. Was this how I looked to Eric? I forced the thought away.

“Such as?” I prompt her. She smiles then, relaxing slightly.

“How the water pumps worked, and how the rain was caught in order to be used again. If the field were arranged a certain way for a reason and why some plants grew faster than others. I did my independent project on the advancements of the serums through the years and the effects we could enhance.” I know that already. Her assignment has gone through me to get to Jeanine. She has some good ideas, but I don't know if they'll be enough to save her.

I smile at her. “So the tests showed Erudite and...did it all of a sudden make sense?” She looks a little confused and I see her shift her stance. She looks nervous, but I can't tell if it's because of her possible Divergence or if she's ashamed at choosing a new faction. Some transfers are. “I ask because I've always been Erudite. The idea of changing factions is foreign to me.”

“I think,” she says slowly, “that I always knew I didn't belong. When the results came, I just knew I couldn't stay there anymore.” I nod slowly and smile.

“Well, we are glad to have you,” I tell her. “I'm sure you'll enjoy it and will work hard.” She nods enthusiastically.

“Oh, I will! I can't wait to start learning from the scientists here.” She's almost a little too enthusiastic, but I let it slide.

“Good,” I say. “Welcome to Erudite, Vera. If you need anything, let me know.” I smile again before I turn away. It's a good first step. I don't want to push too hard. It will either cause her to retreat from me or make her suspicious of me. I can't have that.

I'm halfway out of the lobby when I see Riley. I change direction, heading right to him and when he sees me, he pulls away from the people he's talking to and greets me with a smile.

“Amelia! Have you considered my offer?”

“Not yet,” I say and watch as the smile slides from his face. “I did have a question though.” There's a pause before he nods. There's no easy way to phrase it. “Who did you tell you were proposing?”

He blinks in shock before his eyes narrow. I seem to have caught him off guard. “Why?” he demands. I shouldn't have to explain myself to him, but I do.

“My father asked me about it that very night.” It's a lucky truth. Riley fixes his glasses, biding his time before he answers. He doesn't stumble over his words.

“You have to understand, Amelia.” I can already tell that I will not be impressed by his answer. “I assumed that you would say yes, there is no reason you shouldn't,” he looks at me over his glasses. I stare back. My face is blank, hiding the annoyance that is building with each word. “We are well matched.”

“Who did you tell?” I ask again. My patience is running thin and he can hear it in my voice.

“My colleagues,” he says. I clench my jaw. He's one of the top educators. His colleagues were more numerous than I had hoped for. If I asked too many of them, their curiosity would spark. I can barely quell the frustration I feel.

“Thank you,” I grind out. I turn away from him and head towards the exit.

“Amelia!” He calls out to me, and when I look back, he continues. “I thought you had an answer.”

“Initiations have only just ended, Riley.” I leave then and don't look back.

**[tbc]**

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Amelia witnesses part of Dauntless's initiation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot thank you all enough for the feedback you've been giving me. I'm so glad you like it! Thank you all for the comments and kudos. I love hearing from you. Also, a huge thank you to Sarah my beta reader. She makes me good. I was going to break this up into different chapters but I though you guys might appreciate this instead. Enjoy!

 

**Chapter Eleven**

 

The ride to Dauntless leaves me exhausted. It takes every ounce of me to hide my nervousness of going back to the compound from Jeanine. It will be the first time I'll see Eric since he showed up at my parent's home. Thinking about it causes my hands to tighten on my tablet.

“Tell me again about the Divergent,” Jeanine demands. I open the file on my tablet that I have on Vera. It's a welcome distraction, and guilt settles in my stomach.

“She's working under Naomi in the botany division for now. She passed with a 78 percentage, one of the highest of the grouping. Richard is keeping an eye on her in the division for us. Her individual project was on changes that could be made to improve the serums, with particular focus on the Peace Serum.”

“And when you met her?” Jeanine looks at me, watching carefully for my reaction.

I steel myself against my own words. “She was nervous when I asked about the test and why she transferred.” Jeanine smiles and my stomach churns.

“I want reports from Richard each week, immediately if she does something that stands out,” she says. I nod and write it down. I'm surprised at how many people know about what Jeanine's working on and if it has the possibility to backlash on her. Most of those in Erudite look up to her though, so it's unlikely. At least from Erudite.

The car stops and I look out the window as the driver opens Jeanine's door. We're at the back entrance to the compound, the same one I used when delivering the materials. I step out quickly before Jeanine can comment on my hesitance. Max is waiting for us at the door and relief sweeps through me.

“Max,” Jeanine says with a smile. “I trust everything went well during initiation?” It's her way of subtly asking about the transfer we've asked them to keep an eye on.

“Very,” he says. He looks more tired than usual. The lines around his eyes seem deeper and his hair is beginning to grey. “The initiates are entering the last stage.”

“I'd like to see that,” Jeanine says. It's less of a request than a demand. “By seeing it in action, we can determine if there's any need to improve it.” Max nods. “Amelia, write it down.” I open the calendar on the tablet and do so. I'll need to double-check the date of the last stage with Max before making any necessary changes.

“Follow me,” Max says, motioning us through the door before leading the way to the room. The route he takes is quicker than any of the ones Eric has led me on. Somehow, I'm not surprised.  
  


* * *

  
Max opens the door to the control room. The man with the green hair is sitting at the monitors. He looks at us for a second before ignoring our presence. Max leads the way, opening the door to the new room and ushering us in ahead of him. Jeanine goes first, moving towards the middle of the room which is lit up, expecting our arrival. I stop just inside the doorway. Eric and Cam are standing in the middle of the room and turn to us as we enter. I catch Eric's eyes and for a moment I remember what it felt like to be cornered by him. My stomach tightens as he smirks. I still need to find out who his informant is. I break the gaze, looking around to see the changes made.

The room has changed drastically. The stone walls have been painted white and the new lighting has brightened it considerably. It looks larger than it did before. There is a slight breeze and when I look for the source, I can see one of the added ventilation systems. Max pushes past me to reach Jeanine and I step forwards quickly. I should have been at her side earlier.

“As you can see,” Max says, “everything is to your specifications.”

“Hmm,” Jeanine looks around the room slowly.

Cam speaks up. “The ventilation shafts and air flow have been increased. Outlets have also been added and the wattage used has been increased so you won't blow out the power by over heating it. I can give you the specific numbers, if you want.” Jeanine nods and motions to me. I open my tablet, pulling up the notes on the room. Cam walks over to stand next to me.

I can feel eyes on me as he gives me the numbers. Looking up, I can see Jeanine talking quietly to Max and Eric. I catch a few words like equipment and testing which tells me that she's informing them of the next stage. Eric's watching Cam and I closely, glancing at Jeanine enough to show that he's listening. I stop myself from narrowing my eyes at him and instead focus on Cam. The number he gives me exceed what we've asked for. It's perfect.

“Amelia,” Jeanine calls out for me. I look up to see her motion me forwards. I do so instantly. I have everything I need from Cam. “I want the equipment moved in immediately.” I type out a note in the tablet as she continues. “Amelia will be my emissary for the lab here at Dauntless.” I freeze at her words. This is the first I've heard of it. An emissary? I thought...I had hoped that I would stop coming here once the room was completed. “She'll arrange for everything you need, as well as ensuring that the labs run flawlessly together from both Erudite and Dauntless.” I take notes automatically. She's leaving me here? I'm her assistant. Was she demoting me? I look up at Jeanine and instead catch Eric's eyes. He's smirking again, looking like a cat that caught a mouse. I have to stop myself from scowling at him. What does he want?

“I expect,” I'm brought back to attention by Jeanine's voice. “That the process will run smoothly. I want volunteers from Dauntless to run the first batch of simulations on. I trust you can provide those?” she asks.

“Yeah,” Max says. “We can. Just let us know when you want them.”

“We will,” Jeanine answers. She looks around the room again and smiles. “Now, when is the last initiation test?”

Eric's the one that replies. “Tomorrow afternoon.”

“Perfect,” Jeanine says. “We'll be here.” She looks at me briefly. “Bring up the reports on the last three initiations. I want to see the results and effects of the simulations.”

“Yes ma'am,” I say.

“Well, gentlemen, our plans are progressing at a suitable rate. I trust that you will ensure Amelia has everything she needs while she's here.” There is no room for argument in her tone.

“Of course,” Eric said. I looked over at him to see him smirking at me. “We'll take care of her and give... _ everything _ she needs.” There's something about the way he says that that causes me to tense. He makes me nervous enough as it is. The fact that he seems eager to help doesn't sit well with me. His last effort to help involved him pushing me off a cliff. I don't reply. 

We're led out by both Max and Eric. It's far too similar to our first visit to Dauntless; Max is leading the way with Jeanine while I follow behind with Eric. I intentionally keep close to the wall, ignoring his knowing look as he walks beside me. My skin prickles when his arm brushes against mine.

“Did she tell you your new position before telling us?” Eric's voice is soft and my jaw instantly clenches at his words. I must have given something away in my expression. He chuckles lowly before speaking again. “Just a lapdog...”

“Tell me,” I say lightly. My voice doesn't hold the tension that I feel. “Which educator told you about the proposal?” I look at him out of the corner of my eye to see his smirk grow wider. He leans towards me and I instantly step sideways to avoid him. I wince when my shoulder hits the wall.

“I see you did your research,” he says. “Not enough though.” He looks ahead and I realize we're near the exit.

I exhale sharply and narrow my eyes. “It will be. I'm not done yet.”

“Good.” I glance at him and he looks amused and anticipatory. He's waiting for something and the fact that I don't know what it is puts me ill at ease. Once we reach the exit, he stops. “Until next time, Amelia.”

“I hope not,” I mutter. I nod to Max as I pass him and follow Jeanine to the car.  
  


* * *

  
The car is silent until it starts moving.

“Amelia, you are to be my eyes and ears in Dauntless, is that understood?” Jeanine looks at me carefully. My throat feels like it's closing and my hands shake. I fold my hands over the tablet in my lap and nod.

“Yes, ma'am.”

“I trust you to ensure that everything goes smoothly between the labs.”

“What about,” I pause, unsure if I want to know the answer or not. I feel like this is going to change everything and I don't like it. “What about being your assistant?” Jeanine smiles and I watch as her glasses glint in the light.

“I believe you capable of doing both. After all, Dauntless won't need you all of the time and neither will I. If it becomes too much, I'll find someone else for the position.” She doesn't say which position or where that would leave me, but I think that's the point. She turns away, satisfied that the conversation is over even though I'm not. There's more I want to know. Why me? What will happen if I can't manage both? Fear strikes through me and weight presses down on my chest. I don't think I want to know.  
  


* * *

  
To oversee the last stage of the Dauntless initiation, Jeanine takes Gregory, one of the head scientists, with her. He is included in her plans for developing new serums against Divergents. They talk about it the entire way to Dauntless.

“Initial testing should include MRI's before and after the first round of simulation,” Jeanine says.

“Of course,” Gregory agrees. “That way we can see the effects and changes that might be made. A better solution would be to have the MRI while the serum is in effect.”

“Correct,” Jeanine says and I watch as Gregory preens under her praise. Luckily, we arrive at Dauntless before I feel the need to look over Jeanine's schedule for the fifth time for a distraction. This time, we enter through the front door again.

Max and the woman who was at the meeting about Divergents are waiting for us. Her hair is braided again and she looks bored. Jeanine smiles as she exits the car. I follow after her and wait as she introduces Gregory.

“He will be assisting us in our research,” Jeanine says. I glance at Gregory. The scientist looks uncomfortable, standing a little too straight. He's failing to conceal his nervousness at being near the Dauntless, nodding to them instead of shaking their hand like customary. The woman smiles at it.

“This is Anna,” Max introduces the woman to Gregory. “She's one of the leaders. You'll meet the others in the initiation. Shall we?” Max motions forward and opens the door for Jeanine. She nods as she walks through and I follow. I can hear Gregory scramble slightly to keep up. This time, we walk up instead of down. I stick close to the wall and the woman, Anna, walks beside me.

“You're the assistant.” She says it like it's a fact, which confuses me. It's well known I'm Jeanine's assistant and we've met before.

“Yes,” I say, unsure of how to reply.

“Hmm,” but she doesn't elaborate. Before I can consider that exactly that means, we've arrived.

The room is large and open with machines everywhere. There are screens off to the side where Eric and another man and woman are standing in front of them. There is a chair in the middle of the room. It looks like the chairs that are used for the Aptitude tests. Max leads the way to Eric and the others. I watch Eric as we get closer. He breaks away from the conversation with the man and makes eye contact. He smirks when he sees me. My eyes narrow slightly at the sight of it. He has that look in his eyes, like he knows something I don't. He strides forwards to meet us.

“Jeanine,” he greets. “Amelia.” I nod back to him. I will be polite, but that's it. He looks past us at the scientist that catches up. His smirk vanishes and he raises an eyebrow.

“Eric,” Jeanine says with a nod. “This is Gregory. He's one of the head scientists at Erudite, you remember. He'll be working with us.” Eric doesn't say anything, just stares and I can see Gregory fidget under it.

“Four will be arriving in a few minutes with the initiates. Let's get you settled.” He says it to Jeanine, but as he motions us forward his hand touches the small of my back lightly. I pick up the pace, breaking the contact. I can still feel the heat of it though, even as he passes me.  
  


* * *

  
We stop in front of the screen and Max introduces the other two leaders. Dante is the shortest of the leaders but the scowl on his face doesn't fail to be intimidating. The tattoos on his wrists and neck only heighten it. The woman, Vi, smiles as she's introduced. There's hardness behind her dark eyes, but she doesn't show it in her movements.

“How many do you think will make it?” Vi asks.

“Hopefully more than last year. Those results were terrible,” Dante says.

“Well, that was when Amar died. I think it threw everyone off,” Vi replies.

Anna is silent. She looks away from the others with a small frown on her face. Was she a friend to the old leader?

“Intimidating, aren't they?” I look to my left to see Gregory standing next to me. His smile is shaky at best.

“I suppose they are,” I say softly. “You get used to it,” I almost want to make him feel better, but the truth is I'm only making conversation so that I don't get wrapped into one with Eric. Luckily, he's watching the door we came in from. I follow his gaze to see a man come in. Behind him, I can see a group of initiates, standing in the doorway. There's a woman standing with them. One of the adults must be Four. The man stops and turns to face the initiates. I can see the woman nod before ushering the initiates back. The man comes in and walks towards us.

His gaze flickers to us Erudite. I know we stand out, a clash of blue against a sea of black. There's confusion and wariness in his eyes but he doesn't stop until he reaches us.

“They're ready,” he says. He's not as tall as Eric, nor as muscular but there's a steadfast assurance in him. He glances at me only for a split second.

“Good,” Eric says. He moves closer, standing a little straighter. That's interesting. “Send them in, one by one.” Eric's tone has changed slightly. It sounds more demanding. The man nods and turns without another word. He strides back to the door.

“Amelia,” Jeanine calls. I go to her instantly. I see Eric smirk from his place near her and I remember his words about being her pet. There's a flash of anger in me before I push it away.

“Yes?” I ask.

“Take notes. I want details on the process and the rankings.” She looks at me suddenly and I nod. I know what she wants. She's looking at ways to improve it, but more importantly, she's looking for the suspected Divergent.

“Yes, ma'am.” Then, the first initiate is called in.

**[tbc]**

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Fear Landscape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. I am so unbelievably overwhelmed at the response this story has gotten. Thank you all so very much! Your comments and kudos mean the world to mean. I love hearing from you, so thank you! Thank you also to my beta reader Sarah who keeps me on track and helps make this as good as it is. It's a short chapter, but it's a necessary set up for the next one. Enjoy!

 

**Chapter Twelve**

 

I have never been more grateful that I didn't choose Dauntless than I am now. Watching the initiates face their numerous deepest fears is something I don't want to see again. I can't imagine the fear but my mind automatically thinks of what mine would show. Being found Divergent. My family killed because of me. Heights. There would be more, I have no doubt, but those are the only ones that come to mind. The first being the most important.

I have to forcibly relax my grip on my tablet as I hear Eric and Vi chuckle over an initiates fear of spiders. I wonder how they did. Did they cry the first time they faced their fears, or did they conquer them?

Finally, the suspected Divergent that chose Dauntless, Henry Foster, is up. I watch as he approaches the chair nonchalantly. The man, whom I suspect is Four, injects him with the serum to trigger the simulation. Henry pulls himself onto the chair easily, closes his eyes and waits. I turn to watch the screen and feel someone move to stand behind me.

“Think he'll make it?” Eric's voice is low in my ear. I inhale sharply but say nothing. “He was decent in the physical testing but surpassed everyone in the fear testing.” The screen shows Henry drowning. Even though Eric's not touching me, my body increases its awareness of him. I can feel the heat from his body. Henry barely panics in the simulation, diving deeper. All the others took longer.

I look down at my tablet and make a note, feeling a lump grow in my throat. I could be signing his death. Then again, my mind argues, he chose his own fate. He should be smarter, not showing off.

“All signs point--”

I cut Eric off. “To Divergence.” Henry is tied up. The walls are closing in on him. Somehow, he breaks free. The bonds fall at his feet, but there's no sign of how he got loose. I glance at the others. Jeanine looks triumphant. The look sends guilt to settle in my stomach. I move on, unwilling to bare that look longer. I am helping her.

Gregory is talking to one of the Dauntless running the simulation computer. I don't recognize them. Vi, Anna and Dante are all talking to one another as they watch it. Anna points something out on the screen and I watch as they nod. Then, it's over.

Henry Foster gets up with a grin. Surprisingly, there's a look in Four's eyes that looks like sadness, a wariness that is increased when he looks in our direction. It's fleetingly though, so quick that I have to wonder if I imagined it. He smiles at Henry and motions him off.

As we leave, Jeanine talks with Max and Gregory about the initiation procedure. The simulations were fine but Jeanine apparently saw glitches in them. Nothing major, but things that could be fixed. Gregory agrees with her readily, but I have no doubt he didn't see them. It's obvious by the tone of his voice. I walk behind them with Eric, unfortunately.

“How's the family?” he asks. There's a teasing tone in his voice that makes me tense. It sounds more malicious than playful. I glare at him.

“Fine,” I say.

“And the replacement?” He looks curious, which makes me more wary.

“What replacement?” I hesitatingly ask. I don't want to encourage him, but I'm curious.

“Your replacement. After all, you'll be spending quite a lot of time here.” He smirks at me and in that instant, I know that he knows I have no replacement. He's goading me.

“There is none. I'm quite capable of doing my job.”

“Oh no doubt,” he agrees. I glance down at the edge of the walkway we're on. He's close enough to it that if I bumped into him, he might lose his balance and fall. I scoff at myself. He'd more likely toss me over the edge and stop himself from falling with some Dauntless trick. “But the stress of it will get you. You'll need to find a release, don't you agree?” There's something I'm missing. That dark glint of amusement is in his eye and it's not promising. “Do some research,” he says. “You'll see what I mean.” I want to ignore him but it feels impossible.

“If I want stress relief,” I say, “I'll find it on my own. I don't need your help.” His hand grabs my arm, stopping me. I look to the others. They haven't noticed anything and I'm reminded suddenly of the time he nearly pushed me off the cliff. Instead of pulling me towards the ledge, he leans towards me. His hand strokes down my arm, causing goosebumps to rise. His mouth goes to my ear and my heart rate increases, pounding in my chest.

“You'll find me _very_ accommodating, Amelia,” he draws out my name again. My mouth goes dry. He smells like leather, smoke and slightly like sweat. My stomach clenches automatically and I half wish he was closer. My mind reels back at that, forcing me to take a step back. He smirks at me, as if he knows what I was thinking. He lets go, his hand trailing down my arm, brushing over my hand until he's no longer touching me. Without another word, he turns and continues on after the others. I follow, but at a distance. My mind is running over explanations to why I reacted like that, but the only ones I can come up with are ridiculous. I scowl at his back. He's up to something. I just have to figure out what it is.  


* * *

 I've checked over the figures a thousand times. We're starting with the basics, setting up the main computer systems and ensuring they are connected to Erudite. Despite the fact that everything is in order, I feel the adrenaline running through my system. My flight instincts are pounding through me, as if warning me against going back to the Dauntless compound. I have no choice.

I didn't need to research what Eric meant about stress relief. I realized what he meant as I was trying to fall asleep that night. My mind ran through different possibilities before settling on one conclusion...but it didn't make sense. Despite the fact that the conclusion was the logical choice, it couldn't be right. The realization of it pulled me from the attempts at slumber as I grew agitated at him. That agitation was affecting me now, only my common sense warned me to not make an enemy of him. I needed him to ignore me, to not peer closely. I straighten my posture as I walk out of Erudite. There are two trucks awaiting me, both with technicians in place for the set up. I can help but be thankful when I see that none of them are my father. I wouldn't be able to explain the truth and I didn't want any of my family near Eric.

I get in the truck, adjusting my skirt as I sit down and motion for the driver to go. The noise of the engines roaring to life makes me grateful that there is no conversation needed between myself and the driver. The two technicians who are coming with me cram themselves into the other truck. The trucks are meant to seat two people comfortably, but it's not impossible to seat more. I nearly smile at the thought that they might be intimidated by me. My focus is drawn to my destination though and what may be awaiting me. I can't allow Eric to get the better of me. I won't.

  
**[tbc]**


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to Dauntless!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know it's not a super long chapter but I'm really excited to get this one out to you. I think you guys will enjoy it. Thank you all so much for commenting and giving kudos! I love hearing from you both here and through tumblr.

**Chapter Thirteen**

Arriving at Dauntless is similar to the last time I brought materials. Eric is waiting in the back entrance with the same men as last time. At the sight of him, my mind goes back to our last meeting and how I felt his touch on my arm long after we left. I have to keep myself from scowling as he opens my door and offers his hand. I place my hand in his and accept the help.

“Amelia,” he says once my feet touch the ground. “Always a pleasure.” I glance at him to see him smirking.

I keep my greeting short. “Eric.” I stepped away from the truck and dropped his hand. He turned to his men and motioned them forward. I sigh when I see one of the technicians flinch. The green haired Dauntless laughs. My tablet chirps and I open it to see that I have new messages. One is from Jeanine, reminding me that the meeting with the Communication department needs to be rescheduled. There is a short note from Catherine that was sent to Jeanine but was redirected to me. She wants Jeanine to know that if I prove inadequate, she is capable of handling any task and eager to learn from the best. I sigh.

“Trouble?” Eric asks. He's standing a little too close, enough that I can feel his bare arm brush against mine.

“No,” I don't look up from my tablet. I don't bother replying to Catherine. Instead, I save the message from Catherine for future reference and inform the heads of the Communication department the new meeting date and time. I only need to reference Jeanine's schedule. The others will make themselves available.

“Hmmm,” he says. I take a deep breath, close the tablet and channel my inner Jeanine. It's not something I want to do, but it just might get me through this.

“Gentlemen,” I say as I look up. Most of the equipment has been moved in. The technicians are standing off to the side, waiting. “Let's get started. Eric, if you would lead the way?” I raise an eyebrow and something flashes in his eye. I can't place it. Maybe he's aware that I'm attempting to manipulate the situation for my own safety. If he's ahead, I can keep an eye on him.

“Follow me,” he says. I motion the technicians forward and stride after Eric as he heads inside. Once again the route he takes isn't the quickest, but I'm getting better at mapping the routes in my head. The faster that I do, the sooner Eric won't be required to lead the way. It would be a perfect way to test how far they trust us. Being away from Eric would be a bonus.  
 

* * *

  
The technicians get to work immediately. I stand off to the side, watching as they work. Only Eric and the dark skinned one, whose name might have been Hat or Hut, stay as the technicians worked.

“Not going to direct them?” the one whose name I can't remember asks. He's standing next to Eric, leaning forwards slightly to look past him at me.

“There's no need,” I say. “They know exactly where everything needs to be.”

“Of course they do,” Eric replies. He sounds snarky. “They're Erudite, they  _ have _ to know everything. Isn't that right, Amelia?”

I try not to glare at him. There's something in his tone that sounds like he's making fun of me. “We pride ourselves on knowledge. It makes us efficient.”

“And yet there's still stuff you don't know, isn't there?” Eric's turned towards me, blocking the other man's view. My jaw clenches. He's aware of the fact that I still don't know his information source.

“Give me time,” I say lightly. The smirk on his face widens.

“Not to interrupt,” the other man says, stepping out from behind Eric. There's a wide grin on his face. “But we've never been introduced, have we?”

“No,” I reply. There wasn't any real need for introductions.

“I'm Hatch,” he offers a hand to me.

“Amelia,” I say back, shaking his hand. I make a note to remember his name.

“Nice to meet you, Amelia,” Hatch says. His piercings pull in his skin when he smiles. I wonder if it hurts.

I nod back. He's friendlier than any of the other Dauntless I've met so far and it seems strange.

“Miss Elswood?” One of the technicians calls me. Grateful for the chance for space, I head towards them.

“What is it?” I ask, looking around. The computers have been set up and I can see programs running on one of them.

“Everything is set to your specifications,” the technician who called me says. “We'll need to run some tests with the computers at Erudite. There needs to be a person at both ends.”

“Okay,” I say. I look over the two of them. “Both of you will remain here for the night. Once the program finishes running, you'll find that you have others already on the Erudite side waiting for your response.

“Both?” the other asks with his voice shaking. “Alone?”

“You'll be together, won't you?” I ask. They nod. “Then you'll be fine. I'll be back tomorrow.” I turn away from them, ignoring how they start to mumble to each other once my back is turned. Eric and Hatch are both watching me carefully. “As previously mentioned,” I tell Eric. His stare seems to bore into mine and somehow, despite my heart beat suddenly increasing, my voice doesn't falter. “I will be leaving the technicians here to run tests and finish setting up the protocols. I'll be returning tomorrow.” I glance back at the technicians. “Someone will need to stay with them. Someone who  _ won't _ purposely scare them.” I say pointedly. The corner of Eric's eyes crinkle slightly, while Hatch laughs. I break eye contact and look over to him. 

“I'll stay,” Hatch says. “Don't worry. They'll still be in one piece when you get back.”

“I expect their minds to stay that way as well,” I say dryly. It causes Hatch to laugh again.

“In that case,” Eric says smoothly, “let me escort you back to your truck.” My heart feels like it's stopped. I was aiming to avoid him, not spend more time alone with him.

“That's not necessary,” I say. “I can find my own way by now.” His eyes flash darkly but he doesn't say anything. Instead, he places a hand on the small of my back and ushers me out of the room. I want to turn and snap at him, but something stops me. I won't get anywhere by causing a scene, instead it would draw more attention to me. I take a deep breath and let him lead the way.  
 

* * *

 

Once again, I am alone with Eric. I want to get out as quickly as possible, but he's leading me through different pathways than the way we came in, ones that are empty of other Dauntless. He's dragging it out. I try not to glare at him. Thankfully, he dropped his hand once we left the room. Part of me wants to argue, inform him that I do not need him. Instead, I walk quietly at his side.

“Who's Catherine?”

I look at him. “How—” I stop myself. There's no point in asking how, not when I remember how close he was standing when I got the message. “No one,” I say.

“She's adamant about getting your position.”

“I'm aware of this,” I try not to snap. I don't think it works. Eric looks amused. “Unfortunately for her, I was chosen directly by Jeanine. If she was meant for the position, she would have achieved it before me.” I wish she had been. I wish I could have spent my days in a lab or library doing research.

“If you were that special, wouldn't you have figured out my sources yet?”

“In case you haven't noticed, I'm busy. I don't have time to play games, Eric.”

He stops suddenly and grabs my arm, turning me to face him. “If I wanted to play, Amelia,” he says lowly. “You'd know.”

My jaw clenched as my stomach flipped at his voice. I exhaled sharply through my nose, wondering how I could get him to leave me alone. I didn't want or need his attention. “Then what do you want?” I demanded.

His hands move to the back of my head and waist. He pulls me to him and before I can react, his lips are on mine. His mouth is demanding and hard and when I don't respond, his teeth bite at my bottom lip. The hand on my waist tightens until it's painful and I gasp into his mouth. He uses that to his advantage, inserting his tongue. I can't help it. I've kissed before but it's never been like this. Heat floods through me. I respond, moving my mouth against his, suddenly desperate for the contact. My arm goes around his neck while my other hand clutches at the vest he wears. He moves forward, pushing me back against the wall. The pain of my head hitting it jolts me back to reality. I need to stop. I don't know when I closed my eyes but I open them and somehow shove him off, away from me.

My breathing is erratic and I can't help but stare at him in shock. What was that? He grins and chuckles lowly. He looks like I've just proven his theory. I open my mouth to ask him why he kissed me but he speaks before I can.

“Your truck is waiting.” He walks away and I'm left to scramble after him. Fury builds up in me as I realize I can still taste him. How dare he! Despite my emotions, I manage to keep my body and face intact. It's the only thing I can do to keep myself from either pushing Eric over the ledge or beating him over the head with my tablet. I'd attempt it but I was certain the tablet would break before doing any damage.

As we exit the building, I walk to the truck without a word. Eric looks smug as he opens the door.

“Amelia,” he says my name like he owns it. I don't stop the glare this time. It makes him grin. I don't say a word and he closes the door. I keep my stare forward as we drive away. The fury I felt leaves as suddenly as it came and I'm left trying not to shake. There was a promise in his eyes. This is not good.  
  


* * *

  
The possibility of his attraction is suddenly more fact than fiction. The problem is, I didn't know what to do about it. How do I get Eric's attention off of me? I stare down at my desk, thankful that Jeanine is in her lab. I need space to think and her presence would be overwhelming.

I am facing more problems than just Eric. I have to continue to hide my Divergence, live with what I am helping with and deal with Riley as well. Riley, as pure Erudite as you could get. An idea strikes me. I grab the phone. There is no time to delay. If Eric's information network is as secure as he thinks it is, he'll learn quickly.

“Riley?” I ask once I hear him answer the phone. “It's Amelia.” I will choose the lesser of the two evils. “I accept.”

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Amelia faces the reactions of the news of her engagement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't express my gratitude to all of you for your comments and kudos. At the time of writing this, I've received 60 kudos and over 40 comments (I'm not sure how many there are when you minus my replies). That is the most I've ever received! You guys are amazing! Thank you! If you haven't commented yet, please do. I'd love to hear from you. In case any of you are looking for answers to some things in AoS, I've been answering the few questions I get over at my writing tumblr. The link is in my profile. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. It's the last I have prepared ahead of time, but I'll do my best to get the next one out to you as quick as I can. Thanks again and enjoy!

**Chapter Fourteen**

 

Meeting with Riley seems as tedious as ever. I'm exhausted already from the events at Dauntless and Riley is insistent at meeting instantly. Since I refuse to leave my desk, he comes to me.

“Amelia,” he says as he strides up to my desk. He leans over it, attempting to kiss my cheek. I don't move forward though and he falls short. I don't feel bad about it. I've had enough of people forcing their lips on me. He recovers admirably, pulling up sharply and smiling widely.

“Riley,” I greet. Jeanine is still in her lab, so I motion him to sit down. He folds himself into the chair.

“I must admit,” he says, “I half thought you were going to reject me.”

“I told you I needed time. I am incredibly busy.” I peer at him over my glasses. He looks as confident as ever and I have to tamper the surge of annoyance I feel. It must be wonderful to not constantly be afraid.

“Of course,” Riley says. “I am certain that we will be able to collaborate our schedules in order to make the necessary arrangements.” Weddings in Erudite are simple. In order to be married, both parties must be tested for compatibility. The sociologists meet with the couple, both separately and together to see how they react to situations. Then, it is off to medical tests to ensure fertility and healthiness. Once all the tests are passed, the information for the couple is changed in the systems and they move to a new home. It is simple and efficient. I don't plan on passing them.

“I expect it will take some time. I have much to do that requires my full attention. Our engagement will be a long one.” The engagement is a means to an end. I have no intention to marry Riley, but Eric's interest needs to be diverted until I'm no longer needed at Dauntless. Luckily, our schedules make the perfect excuse.

He looks surprised. “I would have though you'd want it over with quickly.”

“You thought wrong.” I stare him down, but he doesn't falter.

“Whatever you want,” he says. “It will give us time to get to know each other.” A thought strikes me. Riley may be more difficult to get rid of then I previously expected.

“Precisely. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to work.” I motion to my computer and he stands up quickly.

“Of course! I'll contact you later, perhaps we can arrange to have dinner together.”

“Perhaps,” I agree. He gives me another smile but doesn't try to kiss my cheek again. Instead he nods and walks away. I expected to feel more relief than I do. Instead, I feel like I've dug myself deeper into a hole I fell into. My chest tightens.  
  


* * *

  
Sitting at the dinner table, surrounded by my family, is more nerve wracking than I thought it would be. It isn't our usual scheduled time to meet, but they need to know what I am doing. My heart feels like it's clenching at the thought of lying to them again. Considering the last time we spoke about it, I told them I had no interest in marrying him, I have to make it believable. Once again, I'm thankful we're not Candor. I feel sick thinking about it.

“Thank you for taking time to see me,” I say. My mother smiles indulgently at me.

“What's the big news?” My brother asks. Brighton is leaning forward, anticipation in his eyes. “Are you getting promoted?”

“No,” I shake my head and watch as he stares at me. I can practically see the gears of his mind working as he tries to figure out what I'm going to tell them. “I've accepted Riley's proposal.”

“What?” Brighton looks shocked. “Why?” I try not to sigh.

“It's going to be a long...engagement,” I tell them. My parents are watching me carefully. I take a deep breath to keep my heart calm. I have to be careful, they know all of my nuances. “We'll take the time to ensure that we are compatible in more than physical and mental capabilities. I thought about it and I do believe that this will be the easiest option.” I let them draw their own conclusions about what it's an option for. Parents have no influence over the decision to marry or the tests, having given up that right when the child becomes a full member of society...but my family is important to me. They need to know something.

“This is very sudden,” my mother says quietly. “Are you certain?” She sounds hesitant, as if unsure that I'm telling the truth. She has the right to doubt, after all, I did tell her I did not like him.

“Yes,” I leave no room for doubt in my tone, even though she still doesn't look fully convinced. “I am very busy and this will help cross off another task on my list.” My mother frowns at that, but not everyone is as lucky as her and my father. Everyone in our community has to parent at least two children in order for our society to remain functioning. I don't want to have children. The risk of passing on my Divergence is high. It's too much pressure to put on a child.

My father speaks up, breaking the sudden silence. “Bring him over next time. I want to meet him, away from work.” That would be the ultimate test.

I nod despite the lump in my throat. “Okay.” It can't be as bad as Eric showing up uninvited. Brighton is frowning though. Before I can ask him what's wrong, my mother speaks.

“Well, that certainly is exciting. Which reminds me, Jeanine called the archives today.”

The sudden change of topics takes me by surprise. “What?” I ask. Jeanine hadn't said anything about the archives.

“Yes,” she says. “She wanted the earliest documents recorded in our society to be delivered for her. We're organizing them now. You didn't know?” Now she looks concerned.

“Jeanine has me working on something for her,” I say. “It's...of more importance than making calls for her.” My anxiety grows though. Despite the fact that Jeanine assured she had use of me, I don't like not knowing what she's up to. My survival depends on knowing her every move, especially now. Eric teased about Jeanine replacing me. My grip tightens on one of the utensils.

“Really?” Brighton perks up, distracting me from my thoughts. “What is it?”

I give him a smug smile. “Top secret.”

“What? Come on!” he argues. I just laugh. For a moment, my anxiety about the engagement fades as the conversation is forgotten and I tease Brighton about my position. My throat tightens though as I make a mental note to find out what Jeanine is researching. I am too focused on Riley and Eric. I wasn't prepared for this.  
  


* * *

  
I have to force myself to breathe. My hands won't stop shaking and clutching my tablet doesn't help like it used to. I'm nervous. It's possible that Eric hasn't heard about the engagement, but considering how fast he heard that Riley had asked in the first place, it's unlikely. I can only hope that it will be enough to stall his interest. Somehow...I doubt it. If our different factions didn't, why should this? I need a sign though. I need an answer, preferably without any interaction.

As we reach the compound, I catch sight of Eric waiting by the back door. The anxiety that I feel melts into anger. I shouldn't be nervous, or afraid to do my job. He is Dauntless and I am Erudite. I straighten myself in my seat, and hide behind that thought like it's an impenetrable wall.

Eric is calm when we arrive. There is no smile or smirk and I can feel my anxiety creep up my back as he steps towards my door. My heart is pounding. He opens the door and offers his hand. There are bruises. His knuckles look cut up, as if he hurt himself punching something. Part of me feels glad about it, happy to see that the news may have had some effect. I'm not certain though.

“Amelia,” he greets me with a nod. He sounds normal. It gives me no clue about his knowledge over the engagement. I hold on to his hand as I step out of the truck. His grip is tight, and I'm grateful that I chose to wear flats instead of heels. It allows me to step down quickly and move away from him.

“Eric,” I nod. “I brought more supplies. How are the technicians?”

“Alive.” That's all he gives me. Instead, I can feel his stare on me as I glance towards the truck. “You can see for yourself. I have men arriving to bring everything in.”

“I will. I'd rather oversee the transfer myself,” I reply. The truth is, I don't want to be alone with him. Not after last time, not when I'm unsure about his reaction. Finally, he smirks, like he knows the exact reason.

“Fine.” He leans back against the building and crosses his arms. He's watching me, but I ignore him. Barely a minute passes and men arrive to unpack the truck. It's the green haired man and another that I don't recognize. I open my tablet and make a note to secure the identification of everyone involved at Dauntless. Jeanine will want tabs on everyone who is involved in the process, no matter how meaningless their role seems. I pause in surprise. I should want this to be found out, everyone should know...I close my tablet. I won't get myself in trouble by creating an oversight that dissolves Jeanine's plan. I look at Eric, who's still watching me.

“Ready?” he asks. I nod. He leads without looking back.  
  


* * *

  
It feels like I'm racing. I can barely keep up and I have to quell the irritation I feel. He's doing it on purpose. I'm tempted to slow down and go at my own pace. I recognize the way. I could go alone.

“Can you slow down?” I call out. If he refuses, I'll let him leave me. He stops and looks back with a raised eyebrow. “I'm wearing a skirt. I can't move as fast as you.” The skirt is an excuse. I'm not as athletic as he is. He smirks and I know that he knows that.

“Why should I?” he asks.

I grit my teeth and try to stop myself form saying something stupid. “Because I asked you to.” Something flashes in his eyes and he strides towards me. My heart feels like it's leapt into my throat and I step back quickly as he approaches. He grabs my upper arm tightly, pulling me towards him. His grip is painful and likely to bruise.

“I asked you to say no,” he says lowly. His voice sounds tight, like he's stopping himself from saying something else. I feel like I'm on the edge of a volcano about to erupt. Naturally, I can't stop myself from prodding it further.

My eyes narrow. “You don't control me, Eric,” I say. “I make my own choices. It doesn't involve you.” I meet his gaze, trying not to falter under it. I am Erudite. “It never has.” Something seems to spark in his eyes, behind the anger that's dwelling there. His thumb rubs my arm before he forcefully lets go and I stumble back.

“We'll see.”  
  


* * *

  
His words are ominous and the feeling that I've just poked a sleeping lion doesn't fade.

The Dauntless man that I left in here, Hatch, is nowhere to be seen. The technicians, however, are overwhelmingly happy to see me. They don't outright show it, but there is relief in their eyes.

“Where's Hatch?” I ask.

“He left earlier,” one of the technicians says. “Something needed his attention.” His eyes glance down at my arm. The area that Eric grabbed is still red. He looks at me curiously, but doesn't say anything.

I nod and walk around, looking at the results and the printed pages that show the connection between the labs. The technicians are shifting as they wait, restless in their desire to escape. Their anxiety seeps out of them. I tamper down my annoyance. They should have better control over themselves.

“We'll have to have the proper labs set up. We have everything for the computers,” I say, “We'll need to get the rest of the equipment ready.” I make notes in my tablet. The technicians stand near me, as if I'm going to protect them. I sigh. They don't realize that I would sacrifice them first to ensure my own safety. “I'll have to make arrangements,” I say as I look at Eric. “I imagine that it won't be ready for a couple of days.”

“That's fine,” Eric says. “We can wait.” There's something about the way he says that, as if he's thinking of something else. I need to get out of here.

“I'll send you the details.” I motion towards the door. “Let's go gentlemen. Eric, if you would lead the way.” He doesn't reply. The technicians race after him when he leaves though and I follow at a much slower pace. The further away I am from him, the better.  
  


* * *

  
Eric stops outside the door that leads to the cars. I watch as the two technicians nod at Eric before scurrying to the truck. It's almost comical to watch. I head after them, but the hand on my arm stops me before I get past Eric.

I look back at him. “Let go.”

“Not yet,” he replies. He glances towards the truck and when I follow his gaze, I can see the technicians looking through the truck window at us. I turn towards Eric, eager to get away from him and the curiousity of the other Erudites.

“Let go,” I demand. He doesn't answer. Instead he turns me and slams me against the wall that was behind him. I wince as my back hits it.

“No.” He leans in close and I can see that his eyes are darker than usual. One of his hands is still on my arm but the other is planted against the wall on my other side. I'm trapped. “You've been thinking of me like every other Dauntless, but remember, Amelia,” he draws out my name. There's no trace of amusement or teasing on his face. Just an intensity that I am not used to. “I know how you think. Regardless of how illogical it may seem, I get what I want. I always have.”

His lips are close to mine, and his eyes seem to bore into me. My heart is pounding, there's a lump in my throat and I can't tell if it's from fear...or something else.

“Learn to live with disappointment,” I say. I sound braver than I feel. He smirks.

“I don't plan to. Break the engagement.”

“No.”

He kisses me hard, as if trying to brand himself into me. I don't kiss back, thinking of the technicians in the car. I try to push him back. He chuckles into my mouth and breaks the kiss. The hand holding my arm wraps around my waist, pulling me closer into him. His chest is hard against mine. He doesn't kiss me again though, which I was preparing for. Instead, as his free hand traces small designs over the skirt on my hip, his mouth moves to my neck. I stiffen. His lips move over my neck, kissing small parts before I can feel his tongue. Heat flares through me and before I realize it, I'm moving my head to the side, giving him more access. He pulls away, stepping back.

I feel like stumbling, trying to recover from the shock quickly. “What was that?” I demand.

He smirks. “Something to think about...when you face your  _ fiance _ .” I stare at him, unsure of what he means. He's trying to get into my head. I glare at him, angry for the intrusion and the fact that my plan has yet to work. I'm not sure if I'm angrier with him or myself. 

I don't bother replying. The truck revs it's engine as I finally storm towards the cars, tablet clutched in one hand tightly. There is a car waiting as the truck leaves and I can see the face of one of the technicians looking back through the back window. They saw everything.

The driver of the car jumps out as he sees me coming and opens the door quickly. I nod to him out of habit but don't look. He must have seen everything as well. Oh god. There were witnesses. Erudite doesn't commend gossip, but curiosity gets the best of us. I would need to deal with it before it gets to Jeanine. I sit back in the car as it drives off. I can still feel Eric's lips on my neck. It's like he's burnt me. That was far more intimate than stealing a kiss.

 

 

**[tbc]**

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amelia deals with some of the after effects of the kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your patience! Things have been pretty hectic this summer and now I'm officially back at university. Good luck to any of you who are back or going back to school this year! Thank you, also, for the numerous amount of comments and kudos that I've received! They definitely helped me make time to work on this. A huge thank you to Sarah, my beta, who makes this good. I hope you guys like it. Enjoy!

Riley comes as an after thought. In the wake of Eric's kiss, I forgot about him and what will happen when he hears about it. I scowl at my computer. Eric is affecting me already. I shove the thought out of my mind before plugging in the tablet to charge. 

“Amelia,” I freeze at the sound of Jeanine's voice. Her office door had been closed and she had scheduled herself to her lab for the afternoon. I didn't expect her.

She stands in the doorway to her office. “We need to talk.” She turns away, going back into her office. I stand up slowly, steeling myself for what's to come. She can't possibly know already, can she? Do rumours travel that fast? Or was she monitoring me? Either answer is problematic. I don't need her focus on me.

She motions for me to sit across from her. Her hands are clasped together, resting on the desk as she looks at me. Her glasses glint in the light, her eyes like steel behind them. I feel exposed, but I clasp my hands together and wait. I cannot falter.

“I'm told there are congratulations in order.”

My throat feels dry. “Yes ma'am. Riley proposed and I've accepted.”

“I trust,” her voice is hard, “that this...engagement will not be an obstacle in our plans.”

“No ma'am,” I say. “I've explained to Riley that my work comes first. No exception.”

“Excellent,” she smiles. “I know, Amelia, that you pride yourself on your work as I do. How are the preparations coming in Dauntless?”

“Very well,” I say. “The computers are fully functional and in sync with ones in Erudite. The lab at Dauntless needs to be set up before we bring in scientists, but it shouldn't be long.”

“Good,” she says. “I want everything in place by the next year. We may need to move quicker than originally planned.” She doesn't explain why and I don't ask. Jeanine prefers that everyone except her to be on a need to know basis.

“Yes ma'am.”

She turns towards her computer, seemingly satisfied with our conversation. “One more thing,” she says with a pause. “If  _ any _ aspect of your life affects our work, it will be terminated immediately. Understood?”

Fear rushes through me. I'm not sure if she's talking about my family, Riley, or even Eric, but I have no doubt that she would remove any obstacle in her way. That included me if I tried to relegate my problems onto her and distracted her.

My voice, surprisingly, doesn't shake. I don't know whether or not to be proud of that. “Yes ma'am.”

“That's all.”  
  


* * *

   
The rumours take a day before they start reaching me. It would have taken longer, but Catherine isn't one to waste an opportunity. She strides up to me when I'm alone, making my way towards the sociology department.

“Amelia,” she greets.

“Catherine,” I nod. “Can I help you?” Despite the polite smile I give her, I am busy. I don't have time to talk if it's not going to lead anywhere.

“I heard that you were at Dauntless.” She watches me carefully, as if looking for something she can pounce on.

“I was. We're upgrading their systems.” It's a small form of the truth and part of an established cover we've created for those Jeanine doesn't trust yet. My heart is beating erratically. I knew when Eric kissed me in sight of the trucks that it would cause a stir. I had expected more time though.

“Is that all?” She raises her eyebrows at me and smiles. It looks cruel, but nothing like Jeanine or Eric. “Because from what I heard, you were fraternizing with one of them.  _ Very _ closely.” 

I try not to sigh. “Despite what you heard, I was there to do my job, one that Jeanine trusts me capable of doing.” Using Jeanine was a shot at Catherine, but I needed this over with quickly. “What they saw was a Dauntless trying to intimidate me for his own enjoyment. I am engaged to Riley Givens. There is no reason why I would waste my time on a Dauntless.”

Her eyes narrow on me. “Indeed,” she says. “Why would you?” She steps closer to me and I have to look up slightly to meet her eyes. “I cannot wait for your dalliances with Dauntless to be aired. When you're factionless...”

“In the rare circumstance that should ever happen,” I cut her off, “it will still be up to Jeanine to chose my replacement. She didn't chose you before...why would she now?” I can hear her inhale sharply. “If you'll excuse me, I have work to do.” I push past her and continue to the sociology department. I know she's watching me so I keep my pace steady until I'm out of sight. Only then do I breathe a sigh of relief. One down, who knows how many to go. Hopefully that will be the end of it.  
  


* * *

  
Riley sends a request to meet him for dinner, but due to conflict between both of our schedules, it doesn't happen right away. I have little doubt that he is going to ask about any rumours he may have heard.

He meets me in my office, arriving promptly at the scheduled time I finish work to pick me up.

“Amelia,” he greets, leaning over my desk to place a kiss on my cheek once I stand. I try not to flinch. The contact is unnecessary.

“Riley,” I say. My voice is polite, but not fully welcoming as it should be. He doesn't seem to notice. I put on the dark blue jacket that hung on the coat hanger and grab my bag. I catch him glancing at Jeanine's office but she's not there. She was in her lab once again. “Shall we?” He looks fairly surprised that I am ready, but I had closed and sealed everything before I knew he would arrive. I don't need him seeing things he's not supposed to.

“Of course.” He turns to walk out of the office with me. “I thought we might eat in my apartment instead of the cafeterias. What do you think?” He must want our conversation to be private. There are few places to have a private conversation in Erudite.

“Certainly,” I agree. I'd prefer to be out of sight from others. I had caught glances at me throughout the days as I walked by. This was fairly typical as I usually travelled with Jeanine, but there was something different about them. It felt like Jeanine just picked me as her assistant all over again. The Erudites were scrutinizing me.

The walk to his apartment is mostly filled with his voice. He asks about my days, but there is little I can tell him, so he tells me about his. He enjoys teaching Erudite the most because they strive to learn, but the Abnegation children are the most polite. The Dauntless children are the most rowdy, causing the most trouble with Candor being second. It should be nice to have a normal conversation without fearing for my safety, but it's boring. There's nothing to learn from it. By the time he finishes telling me about the other educators, he's nearly finished preparing dinner.

“Do you enjoy working for Jeanine?” he asks, after finally sitting down at the table. I take a bite of the fish that he's prepared as I think about how to answer.

“It's a dream,” I say, despite feeling the opposite. “She strives for knowledge, and I am a part of that. By helping her, not only do I learn more than any where else, but I am helping our society thrive.” It sounds almost clinical but Riley nods at it.

“Of course,” he says. “Everyone has their part, and she must have seen something in you that she hasn't seen in anyone else.” There's a gleam in his eyes. “I saw the same thing. That's why I chose you.” I doubt he saw anything except my position but I give a small smile and nod. It's a false compliment and I feel like I'm going to be sick. I make a mental note to avoid more of these dinners. “I have to ask though,” he pauses as if trying to decide what he's going to say. “I've heard rumours about an altercation at Dauntless that a couple of the technicians were privy too.” He's watching me carefully but I sigh.

“Yes, I've been aware of them. Despite what the men think they saw, it was simply what it was.” I meet his eyes. “A Dauntless thug trying to find enjoyment in tormenting Erudite. I'm afraid I did not give him the reaction he was looking for, therefore causing him to react...well, almost violently. I hope you weren't seriously considering that I would have anything to do with them.” I force myself to look concerned.

Riley's eyes are wide before he replies. “Of course not! I merely wanted the whole story. I knew, as your fiance, you would tell me the truth.” He scowls at his drink. “How dare he lay his hands on you. You are certain you're okay?”

“Yes. It won't happen again.” It seems far too easy to convince him to believe me but he smiles at me and I can see his body relax.

“Good.”  
  


* * *

  
Unfortunately, Riley insists on walking me home.

“You can't be too careful with all the factionless,” he says. “You never know what they're capable of.” I try not to roll my eyes but don't contradict him. He seems far too adamant to listen to the reminder that the Dauntless patrol to ensure that there are no factionless outside of their area.

In one night I have discovered that Riley abhors silence. If he can fill it, he will. Most likely with his own voice. Despite having attended the same lessons as he did, he tells me the history of some of the buildings that we pass.

“This building was rebuilt in the ten years, after near destruction...”

“This is my building,” I cut him off. “Thank you for dinner.”

“Oh, of course,” he pauses for a moment. “I thought I might walk you to your door.”

“That's unnecessary,” I say. “Despite your fears, the factionless haven't been seen around here in over a year. I have work to do, therefore, I must leave you here.” The truth is I'm exhausted. I'm tired of dealing with people. My apartment is the only sanctuary I have left.

He steps forward until he's in front of me. “We must meet again, Amelia.”

“Yes,” I reply before remembering that my parents wish to meet him. “My family meets for dinner once a month. You're invited. I shall send you the details when I know them.”

“Excellent,” he says softly. “I look forward to it.” He looks at me carefully before he asks, “Can I kiss you?”

It takes me by surprise, but I slowly nod. After the events at Dauntless with Eric, it would do me well to further establish this relationship as being the prevalent one in my life. He raises a hand and rests it on my cheek before he dips down and presses his lips against mine.

He presses his tongue against my lips to get them to open, which I do, but it's clinical and cold in comparison to Eric. Riley knows what to do to get a specific reaction. Eric demands a reaction, leaving you no choice but to respond.

I pull back in surprise. I shouldn't be thinking of Eric, especially about kissing him. Luckily, Riley hasn't noticed. Instead, he smiles at me and kisses me quickly again.

“Goodnight, Amelia.”

“Goodnight, Riley,” I say before turning and entering my building. My mind reels over the comparison I made. This is bad.  
  
 **[tbc]**

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peace between Factions is possible...right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the long awaited next chapter! Thank you all so much for your patience. Things have been hectic but you guys are amazing. I hope you like this one as much as I do. Thank you all for your comments and kudos! I can't believe how many I've received so far! Thank you also to my beta Sarah who takes time out of her crazy busy schedule to help me. She's the best. That's all, thanks again and let me know what you think ;) Enjoy!

** Chapter Sixteen **

 

I have never considered myself a coward, after all how could I with what I was and my position, but I don't want to go back to Dauntless. The truck careens forward at what seems like an accelerated rate. 

The driver glances at me out of the corner of his eye but doesn't say anything. It's the first time I'll be back at Dauntless since Eric put on a show for the technicians and there's an air of anticipation with those who are coming with me. They're expecting something, whereas I am dreading it.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about the comparison I made between Riley and Eric's kisses. The fact that it was done almost subconsciously alarms me.  _ 'Something to think about when you face your fiance.'  _ I don't want to think about Eric. 

We arrive at Dauntless and I can see Eric standing in his usual spot, waiting. It feels like my insides tense. He is an unpredictable variable and I don't like it. I can't let him think that he's won. I can't let him see that he's starting to affect me. I take a deep breath and step out of the vehicle once it stops, before he can reach for me. I've anticipated his movements and wore flats for the excursion. He just smirks.

“Amelia,” he says.

“Eric,” I reply. I sound far more pleasant than I feel. I motion to the two trucks behind me. “As promised, we've brought more materials.”

He motions people forward and I notice that of the three extra hands, only Hatch is familiar to me. He gives me a grin when he sees me looking and I nod back.

“Please be careful,” I say, moving away from Eric and closer to the trucks. One of the men form Erudite climbs into the back of one of the trucks to help unpack. I can feel the others' eyes on me.

“Sure,” Hatch says as he's handed a box by the Erudite. It slips from his hand and my heart leaps into my throat as he catches it. He winks at me. “Sorry.”

“Don't do it again,” I snap. My voice is harsh enough to take him by surprise but I can't be lenient. I need them to take me seriously. I don't want to have to come back with replacements. The men look at each other in surprise but most of them nod. The Erudite men wouldn't dare to pretend to drop anything. They want to seem as useful as possible to me so that I can send back a good report to Jeanine about them. I can't say the same about the Dauntless.  
  


* * *

  
Eric hasn't said or done anything. We arrive at the control room without an issue. The Erudite men follow behind the two of us and I can feel their eyes on me, waiting for a sign of facts to match the rumours. I feel like exploding. Tension envelopes me as I wait for something to crack it. Eric doesn't move though.

The control room looks the same as I left it. The air hums with the sound of the computers running.

“It's all as you left it,” Eric says.

“I can see that.” I motion for the men to start setting up the equipment. They move past me to the supplies and I wait. While I want to leave them here, Jeanine has demanded my presence every step of the way.

Eric stands close enough that I can almost feel the heat of his body. He doesn't touch me but it's enough to send my senses into hyperawareness. I take a deep breath, trying to control the part of me that wants to flee. He looks at me and raises an eyebrow but doesn't say anything. My mind drifts to that night with Riley of it's own accord. How on earth did I compare them? Why? The more I think about it, the more annoyed I get. I can't stand that they are occupying my thoughts. I have more important things to worry about.

It feels like eons before the technicians are finished setting up the lab equipment; a large part of it being safe storage for coming serums. Despite being grateful that Eric didn't try to engage me in conversation, I'm wary. He doesn't seem the type to suddenly stop considering his previous actions.

Nothing happens as we leave. He doesn't hold me back or touch me or push me against a wall and kiss me. It's almost as if I'm simply an inconvenience to him. Something settles in my stomach that I can't place. It doesn't feel right.

He follows us all the way to the truck and offers his hand as leverage for me to get into my seat. I don't need it, but something prompts me to accept it. Perhaps it's a gesture of peace between us. An acknowledgement of a silent accord where we treat each other as colleagues.

His hand is warm, despite the slight chill the wind brings. I climb up, giving a nod in thanks as I pull my hand away. It feels like his hand lingers. He pulls away gently, drawing his fingers against my palm before finally releasing me. I look up at him, frowning slightly. He looks unperturbed.

“I'll be sure to inform you when we're ready to move forward,” I say.

He smirks. “Always a pleasure, Amelia.” He slams the door to the truck and steps back. I can see the driver shake his head slightly, as if he's disturbed by the idea. I settle back in my seat as the truck lurches forward. I want to be relieved that nothing happened, that it seems like it's over...but I'm not sure it is. My palm still tingles where he touched it.  
  


* * *

   
It's a rare moment of peace in my apartment. There is nothing that needs my immediate attention and I am able to relax as I delve into one of the sociology texts that fill my bookcase. My focus breaks from the article on group conformity as I hear a sharp knock on my door. I pause.

It's late. Jeanine would contact me through the tablet that still lay on the small kitchen table. Riley...he knew what building I was in and it would not be hard for him to discover my apartment number since our engagement. Could I pretend I wasn't home?

The knock sounds again.

I mark my page with a sigh before getting up and heading towards the door. I pray it's not Riley. That would ruin the sanctuary of my apartment. As I open the door, curious to see who is disrupting me at this hour, I realize one thing. It's not Riley. It's much worse. 

Eric stands in the hallway smirking at me. He's in more black than usual, his arms covered with sleeves. I try to close the door on sight but his hand shoots out and stops me.

“What are you doing here?” I demand.

“I was in the neighbourhood,” he says lightly. He forces the door open and I stumble back at the strength of it. My heart pounds as he walks into my apartment and closes the door behind him. Oh god. I'm alone with him and there's no chance of anyone passing by. Not unless I scream and even then I would have to hope that the curiosity of my neighbours is stronger than their fear of him.

I watch him carefully. He moves away from the door, confident that I'm not going to run. How could I? He is faster and stronger than me by a long shot. I don't move. I am still fairly close to the door and there is enough space around me that he cannot trap me as he has before.

I scowl as he looks around my apartment. This is my home and it is personal. I read once that you can learn more from about a person from how they style their home then you can through talking with them. I don't want him to know more. I don't want Eric to learn me.

“Interesting collection,” he says, looking over the bookshelf closest to the door.

“What do you want?” I ask, hoping to get him out of here faster. He has tainted my apartment already.

He turns towards me. “What do you think?” He strides towards me with a focus I wasn't expecting. I step back quickly and he chuckles. It's low and deep and it causes my stomach to tighten. “Scared?” he asks.

I don't answer. “You need to leave.” My heart is pounding as he steps forward, slower this time like I'm an animal he's trying not to spook.

“We're not done,” he says. He moves quicker than I expect, grabbing me before I can dodge out of the way. I struggle, trying to push him away as his arm wraps around my waist and he pulls me into his chest. “I told you, Amelia,” he says softly. His head is bent and I can feel his lips move across my neck. I freeze. “I get what I want.”

“Eric,” my voice is softer than I intended. I know he's smirking before he pulls his head back and looks at me. “I'm engaged.”

The look in his eyes darkens. I inwardly berate myself for provoking him. Before I can say anything else his hand is on the back of my neck and his mouth is on mine. The kiss is hard and demanding. His teeth hit mine and he pulls back slightly but doesn't retreat. I respond before I can stop myself. This is nothing like Riley's kiss. I find myself almost needing it, desiring to erase Riley from my mouth. I should want to erase Eric but instead, my hands that were pushing him away grip his shirt, trying to get closer. One of my arms wraps around his neck as I push up on my toes to get closer. His grip tightens around my waist.

I pull away first, nearly gasping for air. He takes the opportunity and moves his mouth towards my neck. I can barely think but the oxygen helps clear my head just enough. “Eric,” I say but his teeth scrape on part of my collarbone and my whole body shudders. “Eric, stop.” I push him back but he doesn't move. His body is like stone, hard and unyielding.

He pulls away from my neck and looks at me. For a second I think he's going to refuse and force me further.

I want to tell him to get out, that he can't do this but his hand that was buried in my hair moves away from the back of my skull to the side of my neck. The thought that he could easily snap it comes to me suddenly and I try to pull away. He tightens his grip. I freeze, praying he doesn't leave a mark. How would I explain that, especially to Riley?

“Why are you here?” I ask.

“Because I want to be,” he says.

“That's not good enough,” I say. “Why aren't you at Dauntless?”

His lips quirk up slightly and something sparks in his eye that leaves me cold. I've seen that look before. “I brought Jeanine a present.”

“What was it?”

“You'll see.” He removes his hands from me and steps back. For a second I miss the warmth of his body but I push the thought away. He watches me for a second, heat in his gaze before he smirks and heads towards the door.

“Next time, Amelia,” he says and walks out, slamming the door behind him. He doesn't clarify what he means by that, and my mind whirls through a thousand possibilities. None of them are good. I shouldn't have have reacted like that. I should not have opened that door without knowing who was on the other side first. I should have called out and asked before I opened it.

Before I can delve deeper into my regret, my tablet chirps at me. I walk over to it, trembling slightly as I read the message from Jeanine.  _ We have a new test subject. Come immediately. _

 

**[tbc]**

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new test subject is revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the delay! I barely realized how much time had passed since the last update, and I'm sorry I left you all in that cliffhanger for so long! Unfortunately, life got in the way (as it tends to do). Thank you all for your support through this! Your numerous comments and kudos have made certain that I made sure I got some progress on this though it took longer than I had expected. Luckily exams are over and that means I'm on holiday! More time for writing! You guys are amazing!   
> Just a note, in case you're ever wondering where I've disappeared to if it happens again, check my tumblr with the username asirensrage. The link is in my profile. I tend to post status updates there.   
> We made it past 100 kudos! And we're almost at 100 comments! That's incredible! Thank you!!! Also, thank you to my beta Sarah who has stuck through this despite being incredibly busy herself. Hope you guys like it!

**Chapter 17**

  
The main Erudite building is mostly empty. The lights to the building are still on, which is no surprise as there is always stragglers who sometimes refuse to leave their work unfinished, but it's late. My heels echo in the halls as I make my way to Jeanine's lab. It's the logical destination with her mention of a test subject. My mind runs rampant with possibilities of that term. Test subject. It could simply be a blood sample, or something as equally innocuous, but the ominous feeling in the pit of my stomach hasn't faded since Eric left my apartment. Something was wrong.

Despite the assurances I make to myself that the scan to Jeannine's office will provide the same results as last time, my heart pounds. I wait as the security protocols scan me, mentioning again a generation, my faction choice and authorization. As the door finally opens, I can feel myself stop breathing. There is more than just Jeanine in her lab. Exhaling slowly, I step forward, and as the door shuts behind me it suddenly feels like I've made irreversible choice. There is no turning back.

 

* * *

 

“Amelia, how good of you to join us,” Jeanine says as if she had given me a choice. I manage to nod.

“Of course,” I say. There are three other people in the room. I am not surprised to see Gregory, but I don't recognize the other woman next to him. The lab coat suggests another scientist. As I look at the remaining person in the room, the feeling of dread that threatened to consume me as I made my way over suddenly makes sense. This is what Eric meant when he said he brought Jeanine a gift. Bound to a chair between Jeanine and Gregory is the Dauntless boy Henry.

I have to control my reaction. Ignoring the lump in my throat, I stare at him blankly before looking at Jeanine. “This is the test subject?”

“Yes,” she says. “He is a confirmed Divergent.” She looked at Gregory and his companion. “I want MRI's and EEG's done first, and blood work. Do you know why?” Jeanine likes to use every opportunity to test others in the faction. She claims it is to teach them, but I can't help but feel that she uses it as a chance to prove her intelligence.

“It will give us a basis of the biological formation of a Divergent and from there, with application, we can see how certain tests affect different parts of what makes someone a Divergent. Once we narrow it down, we can test further and suppress and eradicate it,” the woman says.

“Precisely,” Jeanine says. “Start the blood work then prep him for the MRI.”

I watch as Gregory and the woman move to the boy. They work together to slide his sleeve up and Gregory holds down Henry's arm while the woman draws blood. They've attached an entire bag to fill. The boy struggles and screams against the gag in his mouth. Jeanine strides over and grips his chin tightly.

“The more you resist,” she says quietly, “the more painful it will be. You cannot help the faults of your birth, but your participation will ensure the preservation of our society. Willing or not, you  _ will  _ help us.” 

Henry freezes and slowly nods. I can see hope flickering in his eyes, as if he thinks that she'll free him at the end of it. My heart clenches at the thought. He won't survive.

Jeanine moves back and stands next to me. “Arrange for members of Dauntless to come in for testing,” she says. “I want comparisons between their brain and his.”

“Yes, ma'am,” I say quietly, opening my tablet and making a note of it.

“I want you to take notes, Amelia, on my dictation during testing. At the end of the day, I want them organized and on my desk. Understood?”

“Of course.” I don't have to ask whether she'd like them in point form or not. I've taken notes for her before. Organized means full sentences, not in the order of her thought process, but the main topics ordered alphabetically. She prefers having all information about the topics filed together, and it's easier for me to recall from storage when it's needed.

They finish with drawing blood, moving the filled bag to be chilled. There is a small tube also filled with blood that the other woman keeps aside. The boy is left looking exhausted and rather pale. Gregory unstraps him, moving him to lie down on a table before strapping him down again. It will help the boy remain as orientated as possible. I can't think of him as Henry. Not when I know what will come. I can't get attached.

“Gregory, find him something to eat,” Jeanine demands. “We can't have him incapable of responding.”

Gregory nods and obediently leaves in search of sugar for the boy. The woman stands and proceeds to use some of the equipment in Jeanine's lab to start testing the blood in the tube.

Jeanine looks at me. “What news from Richard about the suspected Divergent in our midst?” Vera.

“Nothing out of the ordinary,” I reply. The truth was I hadn't put much thought into her. I've been far too distracted with my own issues. “Her work is standard for what you'd expect from a transfer. He hasn't had any problems with her. She seems to be fitting in well.”

“Perhaps too well. Meet with her Amelia, find out her views on our faction.” She pauses for a moment before she smiles. I am suddenly afraid for Vera. “Ask for her opinion on Divergents. I want to know her reaction.”

I nod. “Yes, ma'am.” There is no escaping it.

Gregory enters the lab again, carrying a small tray with soda and a plate of fruit. He helps the boy drink before Jeanine speaks again.

“Come,” she says. “Let's begin with an MRI.”  
  


* * *

There is nothing that I can do.

I stand next to Jeanine in the small computer room, looking out the window at the bound boy being forced into the MRI machine. His heart rate is increased but steady. Jeanine and the other scientist are waiting, watching passively as Gregory leaves the boy strapped to the bed and enters the room.

“Begin,” Jeanine says.

As I watch the machine start and the boy's heart rate picks up drastically as the table slides into the machine, I can't help but think that this could be me. Jeanine would be standing there, just as patiently waiting for her results. Our history might leave a disappointed taste in the back of her mouth, but it wouldn't be anything that she couldn't dispose of. I cannot give myself the false hope of convincing her of my loyalty through years of service. It is better to prepare for the worse.

The sound of the MRI drowns out any possible conversation and I'm grateful for it. It gives me a chance to think and observe. Gregory and the other scientist, whose name I may need to learn, communicates silently through looks and pointing at screens. Jeanine stands calmly, looking pleased that she finally has something concrete to manipulate. Her data has been incomplete due to a lack of actual Divergents to test. It unsettles me, making me want to shift and run as far away as I can but her words run through me.  _ Any aspect of your life will be terminated immediately. _ I cannot falter. My biological failings are not the fault of my family. As I watch the boy in the machine, I know that I should feel ashamed but I'm not. I am a coward, but I pride myself in the fact that I have hidden well. He should have saved himself.

I watch as the readings are made on the screen. I was never educated in this technology. Despite the fact that I most likely would be able to read it if I put my mind to it, none of it currently made sense to me. Suddenly, a high-pitched beeping noise sounds, increasing in intensity. It's the heart rate monitor.

“Stop the machine!” Jeanine yells. The noise of the MRI slowly stops as Gregory pushes himself out of the chair and stumbles to follow Jeanine as she strides into the room. The table holding the boy moves slowly out of the machine but from my position I can see his body arching off the table. “He's seizing!” Gregory yells. They start unbinding him and I put my tablet down before rushing after them. I need to appear concerned.

“Hold him down,” Jeanine says to me. I reach Henry's shoulders and try to hold him down, but he was trained in Dauntless and even his strength is no match for me. I use my body, trying to pin his torso down.

“Get a doctor,” Jeanine demands. “Immediately.” The woman in the other room disappears at the order.

I look up at the boy's face. It's etched in fear. His eyes roll to the back of his head and suddenly it all stops. His body goes still. The steady tone of the flatlined heart monitor fills the silence. Gregory moves forward, climbing onto the table above the boy and starts chest compressions.

I pull back. This is not good. Jeanine has barely had any time to get results. I take a deep breathe and look at her.

Her eyes are like steel, staring down at the body as if the boy did it on purpose. It's quite possible that she scared him to death. There's no change in the sound of the heart monitor. She looks at Gregory. “Leave it.”

He stops the chest compressions, looking at her in confusion.

“The results are inconclusive. Bring the body to the lab. It'll be more of use to us if we dissect it.” Turning away from the table, she heads back to the small computer room. I follow quickly and grab my tablet. “Amelia, make a note to ensure that a doctor is present next time. That can't happen again.”

“Yes ma'am,” my voice is miraculously steady.

Jeanine leaves Gregory and the other scientist in the MRI room, striding down the hall quickly. When we get to the elevator, she stops and turns towards me. “I expect results about Vera tomorrow, is that understood?”

“Yes ma'am,” I say. There's no other response I can give.

“Good. Leave me.” She enters the elevator silently and I nod to her as the doors close. I wait before pressing the button to go down. My hands are shaking.

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vera, Riley and Jeanine! Oh My!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Sorry about the delay in chapters. Life has been getting chaotic, as it tends to happen. I know many of you have been eager to find out what is next on the agenda for Amelia. I have gotten all of your comments and I adore them so. Just to remind you all that my tumblr, which is linked in my profile, generally gives updates about the status of this story if any of you get worried about the delay. Thank you all so much for the comments and kudos. I'm so glad you all like it so much! Also a huge thank you to Sarah for beta reading this and giving tons of encouragement. Without further ado, enjoy the chapter!

 

**Chapter Eighteen**

 

I found Vera easily. She was in one of the laboratories, hunched over papers on a desk with her blond hair tied back.

“Working hard?” I ask as I step closer. I watch as she jumps, having been too lost in her work to focus on her surroundings.

“Miss. Elswood! Hello!” She turns to me with a smile.

I force myself to smile back, ignoring the sinking feeling in my chest that reminds me she has no idea of my true purpose. “What are you working on?” I ask.

“The effects that serums have on the brains over a period of time. It's a lot of work with the sociologists, but it's interesting.”

“Oh? What made you focus on it?”

“Well,” Vera bites her lip and looks to the side before answering. It shows her nervousness. “When I got to Erudite and started studying the serums themselves, I discovered that all of Amity is fed a peacefulness serum through their food. Now, while I can...understand, I guess, the reasoning for it, it made me wonder about what the long term effects of the drug was and how it effected those in Amity.”

Her words make me freeze. I know that Amity is drugged, I had organized the shipments for it when I first started working for Jeanine, but the idea of there being long term effects had never crossed my mind. Suddenly, I feel sorry for Vera. She is too concerned about others and her concern is likely to get her killed.

“Interesting,” I say. “Have you found any evidence of it yet?”

“Nothing concrete. I'm working with the sociologists at the moment to study the behaviours of those in Amity over time and in different ages, but I need to gain access to the medical history.”

I open my tablet. “Have you spoken to Gregory? He's one of the lead scientists.”

“Yes,” she said slowly, as if confused by my question. “He said there was no need at this time. That I should gather more data from the sociologists and form my hypothesis based on the knowledge I can gain here first.”

I pause. He is stalling her, waiting for a reaction that he can bring to Jeanine. This way he will get what he wants without wasting resources on a test subject. I feel sick. “I will get the medical records sent to you,” I say, quickly typing out an email. I am here to sentence her to death. The least I can do is sate her curiosity first.

“You can do that?” she asks in wonder. Her eyes are wide when I look up at her.

I give a short nod. “I can. You'll have your information by the end of the day.”

“Thank you!” she grins widely and her arms go wide and she steps towards me as if to wrap them around me.

I step back quickly.

“Oh! Sorry,” she gives me another smile. “I'm still getting used to the lack of physical contact here.”

My chest tightens. Most Erudites only use physical contact to achieve a reaction from the other person. It has little to do with an expression of joy unless it is to parent and child, and occasionally married couples. Even then, there is always a search for the right reaction. Enough time has passed that the transfers have adapted and conformed to the ideals of Erudite, as is necessary, but not Vera. She is still too Amity.

Her voice pulls me from my thoughts. “Do you...do you mind if I ask you something?”

“If you don't ask, you'll never find an answer,” I say lightly. It is something my father used to tell me.

“It's just...I've heard rumours,” she said quickly. “About you and a...Dauntless.”

I sigh. “What have you heard?” The best way of combatting the truth is hearing the version people have presented first.

“That you and one of the Dauntless were seen together, practically having...” she pauses for a second before adjusting her statement. “You were seen to be very close with one of the Dauntless, more than what is considered proper. People are saying that you and him were, well, you know...” she doesn't elaborate.

The rumours have gotten further from the truth and yet not far enough. I take a deep breath before giving her a small smile. “I'm afraid that is false. Yes, I was at the Dauntless compound as we are working with them to improve their systems. The event that occurred to prompt these rumours were just that of a Dauntless trying to provoke a reaction.” I look at her closely. “The Dauntless do what they do just for a reaction, for their own enjoyment. He was attempting to push boundaries out of amusement and it was taken out of hand by those who witnessed it. Nothing more.”

She nods before giving me a grin. “I knew it wasn't true.” I wish she was right. That it was all just a rumour, but Eric's attentions were more than just a one time grab for attention. Her attention remains on me instead of turning back to her work. She is friendly and patient, even when it comes to those who interrupt her.

She looked pensive for a moment and fidgets slightly, glancing away before she finally speaks.

“Can I ask you something else?” she asks. I nod in response. She looks afraid but stubborn. “I also hear rumours...about Divergents.” She looks up at me, curiosity and fear in her eyes. I don't think she's aware of what she's projecting to me. “People have been saying that they're dangerous.”

It feels like there is something stuck in my throat before I force myself to answer.

“Yes,” I say. “There has been talk about Divergents, but only in terms of the possibility, at the moment. There is still not much known, but research is being done to ensure that our safety is guaranteed. I wouldn't worry,” I smile. “If there is any danger, we would know. We are Erudite after all.”

There is a lull in the conversation. I hope that my words have given her cause to think, and perhaps will encourage her to hide herself better. If she is smart, she'll run.

Finally, I break the silence. “Are you enjoying Erudite?” I ask, masking my question in politeness.

“I think so,” she admits, looking relieved at the topic change. “It's a little intimidating, but I am learning so much,” she says with a grin. “I just hope that I can discover something new, something that will help people.”

“I'm sure you will.” I force a smile to my face, ignoring the guilt that is creeping up my spine. “If you'll excuse me,” I say, “I need to return. Inform me if you don't receive the records by tonight.”

“I will! And thank you so much Miss. Elswood!” She's grinning at me gratefully and I turn and leave without another word. This isn't like the Dauntless boy. I've gotten to know Vera, even slightly. I feel as if I'm fleeing for my own safety. I won't regret it. I can't.  
  


* * *

  
There are messages waiting for me when I return to my desk. The first is Riley, asking to meet again. He suggests dinner, this time at my apartment. I ignore it. I cannot deal with Riley, not now. The second message is from Jeanine. She demands my presence in her office as soon as I return.

I knock lightly on her door, waiting for her voice signalling me to enter.

She looks up as I open the door. She's an intimidating figure behind her large metal desk and I steel myself inwardly against what she may demand from me next. She motions for me to close the door and take the open seat across from her.

I do so.

“Report.”

I take a deep breath, trying to settle my nerves before speaking. “I spoke with Vera in the last hour. While she seems focused on her goals of understanding the long-term effects that serums have on people, she still remains affectionate towards others. She is easily distracted from her work. While she does seem eager to assist people and find the answers she is looking for, she also showcases empathy towards others, not just in regards to her work but in her general being. She also asked about the rumours of Divergents.”

Jeanine's eyes are cold as she watches me. “And?”

“I informed her that we were still in the processes of research and that as Erudites we would know if there was a danger. She looked...” I pause, knowing that my next words could seal her fate. “Afraid,” I say, “when she asked. She was also relieved when the topic changed.”

Jeanine's hands clasp together as she leans forward. “What do you suggest we do?”

Like everything with Jeanine, this was a test.

“While she does show traits that are not entirely Erudite, we cannot be certain of her Divergence as of yet. We do not get many Amity transfers and it is possible that it is a lingering effect from the serums that will fade with more time. I would suggest that the girl is given more time and tested through other ways.” I don't break eye contact with Jeanine until she nods. The relief that flows through me should make me feel better, but it doesn't. I may have bought Vera more time, but Jeanine's trust in me only signifies that she is likely to give me more to do with the condemnation of suspected Divergents.

“Good. Notify Communications that I want to hold an assembly for all of Erudite. We are going to start informing our people about the dangers they face. They need to be informed. I want you, Amelia, to watch the crowd as I speak. Look especially for those with negative reactions, understood?”

“Yes, ma'am,” I nod. She is going to use me like radar. To find those who are unable to hide their reactions.

“You are also to go back to Dauntless,” she says and it feels like my heart stops. She doesn't seem to notice. “I want an update on our systems there, as well as a list of volunteers that will be brought for testing. We are going to look at the minds of each faction and discover the exact cause of Divergence. Then we will know how to abolish it. Inform Max and Eric that they are to have a list of potentials ready for when you get there.

“Yes, ma'am.” I feel like I can barely breathe. I will have to face Eric again. He will ask about the boy, and...after our last interaction that left me far more vulnerable than I ever wished to be in front of him. I kissed him back.

“That's all.”

My mind snaps back to the present at Jeanine's dismissal. I nod and stand, surprising myself with how steady I seem. I walk out quietly, sitting at my desk before turning on my computer to write to the Communications department. I took a deep breath. I had work to do; I couldn't waste my time panicking over the past.  
  


* * *

  
I avoided Riley as well as I could, but there is only so far I can go as Jeanine gives her speech. I keep my eyes on the audience, avoiding how close Riley was standing next to me.

“You've been avoiding me.”

I ignore him for a moment as I try to figure out the best way to respond. This is not the time or place for this conversation. “I've been busy,” I say softly.

“Too busy to even reply?”

“Yes,” my tone brooks no room for argument. “I warned you that my work came first. Now if you will excuse me, I need to pay attention. I will inform you of my next availability for dinner when I know it.”

He falls silent and it allows me to watch the audience like I'm supposed to. Most of the audience is captivated by Jeanine. I can see some of them taking notes as she speaks. It takes me a while before I find Vera but she is the only one whose body is tense. I'm too far away but I imagine that there is fear in her eyes. I can see her looking around at the others, as if trying to find someone who is as equally horrified as she is. I take a deep breath and try not to sigh. Vera doesn't have enough control over her physical reactions.

I turn on my tablet and take note of what I'm seeing. My chest constricts as I realize with every letter I am the one that is sentencing her to testing. I try not to clench my jaw and look back up as Jeanine is finishing her speech. I can see some of the crowd murmuring to each other, and there is a small few that look nervous. Automatically, I mentally take note of whose actions are suspicious, memorizing their features if I cannot recall their names. My attention is broken when I catch movement in the crowd and my heart sinks. Vera is leaving before it's over, moving slowly so as not to attract too much attention to herself. She has condemned herself.

**[tbc]**

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Amelia goes back to Dauntless...and makes a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have for you the next chapter, and for those of you looking for more Eric, you're in luck! You can all thank Elle because she inspired me to write a lot faster than normal. Also, I cleared up my schedule a bit which helped. Thank you all for the comments and kudos! Let me know if you like it!

**Chapter Nineteen**

 

Jeanine is not ready to act, despite the fact that she was informed of what I saw during her speech. She saw Vera leave herself, and yet I was to proceed as usual. Unfortunately, this leaves me travelling to Dauntless.

The drive is quiet and it should be a relief, a moment of peace but I am too tense. The driver will wait for me but there is no one else arriving with me to act as a buffer between Eric and I. I can only hope that I won't be alone with him, that _someone_ will be there.

It's no surprise that Eric is waiting outside the door as we pull up. He is as formidable as ever, the muscles in his arms are showcased by the sleeveless shirt he wears. He smirks when he sees me through the window and my heart leaps into my throat. Oh god.

I try to settle my nerves before the door opens. “Eric,” I greet.

“Amelia,” he offers his hand to help me out of the car, but it is not necessary. I am not jumping from a height in heels.

Clutching my tablet to my chest, I exit the car before looking back at the driver and nodding. “I won't be long,” I say.

Eric doesn't say anything but he slams the door once I'm out of the way and touches the small of my back. “We've been waiting,” he says before ushering me towards the door.

Part of me wants to stop, to dig in my heels and flee. I take a deep breath and try to settle my pounding heart. I can do this. It's only Eric. His hand hasn't left my back though and I know it's not that simple. I enter Dauntless with him at my side.

“Can you remove your hand please?” I ask. We are walking through familiar corridors, towards the lab. “It is unnecessary.”

“Is it?” he asks. His voice is light, almost like he's taunting me.

I look up at him, only to see him raise his eyebrows at me, waiting for my response.

“Yes,” I snap. He moves his hand slowly off of my back, but he looks far too pleased with himself. The distance doesn't feel like a victory, but rather an ominous withdraw.  
  


* * *

 We get to the computer room in no time, and despite the fact that we have barely spoken there is tension in the air. It cannot last. I am going to have to say something about his appearance in my home. It cannot happen again.

Eric remains by the door as I step into the room. The machines are running perfectly and I can see the screen where information is coming in. The link to Erudite is up to date but I realize suddenly that we are alone. I turn to him. “Where are the technicians?”

“Not here,” he says. “The only people who run this area are your technicians and a couple of Dauntless. There was no reason for them to be here.”

He steps closer, closing the door behind him. My heart feels like thunder in my chest, threatening to explode. I hold my tablet tighter and look down at it, hoping that if I appear disinterested, he will stop.

“I need the list of volunteers,” I say. I have a blank file open on the tablet but before I can type anything, a large hand appears and rips it from my grip. I look up in shock to see Eric holding it, scrolling through my data. “Eric,” my voice is hard. “Give it back.”

“No,” he says.

“Eric.” I scowl up at him, stepping closer in an effort to gain it back.

“Amelia,” he says. He looks far too amused.

I stretch up, moving onto my toes to reach my tablet, but Eric has the advantage of height and he lifts the tablet out of my reach. I am, however, in his reach and he loops his free arm around my waist and pulls me into him. My chest hits his and the strength of his arm pins me to him.

I push my hands against his chest, trying to create some space between us. “Let go.”

“No,” he says again. He looks up at the tablet in his hand, turning it slightly. “You can't hide from me behind this.”

“Excuse me?” I demand, my voice shriller than I expected. I am suddenly glad there is no one else in the room. “I am not”—I try to push away from him again, pushing with all my strength. He barely shifts—“trying to hide from you! Unlike some people, I have work to do!”

“Liar.”

Indignation rises up in me but he moves before I can react.

His grip loosens enough to allow me to step back. He steps forward, forcing me back further and something catches in my throat as I meet his eyes.

My lower back hits the table behind me and I realize that he's trapped me again. Before I can react, move away, his arm moves and his hands lift me to sit on the table. The tablet is gone, but before I can wonder just what he's done to it, his hands slide up my legs, pushing my skirt back.

“Eric,” I need him to stop, I try to push his hands down. “Eric! You can't--”

He looks at me, raising his eyebrows at the challenge. He doesn't break eye contact as he forces my legs apart and steps in between them.

My breath gets caught in my throat. I can't breathe and he is suddenly too close. I try to close my legs, to force him to move but all it does is keep him close. I can feel the heat of his body in between my legs, his fingers tracing over the bare skin on my thigh. My entire body stiffens at the touch. I can't react. I can't give him that satisfaction. “I have work to do,” I say and it doesn't come out as strong as I want.

“Fuck the work,” he says. One of his hands comes up behind my head, pulling me closer and kissing me. It's not as demanding as the last kiss, but his grip is strong. His other hand goes around my waist, his hand splayed on my back, keeping me close to him.

I know I should push him away, I don't want this intrusion...but I can feel his tongue on my lip and he tightens his grip in my hair, causing me to gasp. The kiss deepens and my arms are around his neck, pulling him closer. It's different and I can't bring myself to stop. I can feel his smirk against my lips, like he knows what I'm thinking.

The hand on my back goes lower, shifting me closer to him. His lips move from mine, moving to my neck.

My lips trace against his jaw, and I swear I feel his body shudder against mine. The hand that's buried in my hair pulls me away from exploring, and Eric kisses me hard.

His lips move against mine and I feel myself clutching at him, wanting him closer. The hand that was on my back moves up one of my legs, sliding under the skirt as much as possible and it jolts me back to myself.

“Stop. Stop!” I demand, pulling my hands back and trying to shove him away. He pauses, but moves backward slightly, allowing me to actually look at him. Oh god. His hair is messed up enough that it would look suspicious if anyone saw him. I can only imagine what I look like. “Back up!” I demand. “Now!”

He smirks slightly, but obligingly raises his hands and steps back, out from between my legs.

I shuffle off of the desk, desperately pulling down my skirt before glaring at him. “I am here to work,” I say, ignoring how my hands are trembling slightly. I attempt to iron out any wrinkles that might have appeared. “That does not mean you get to _assault_ me anytime you wish!”

“Assault?” He asks. His arms cross over his chest. “If I recall, you were enjoying yourself thoroughly, or were those not your moans I was hearing?”

“I was not moaning!” I snap. “It is a biological response,” I explain. “Not a want. Where is my tablet?”

The amused look on his face shuts down. He steps forward until he is nearly touching me and once again I am reminded by how small I am in comparison. His hands move forward and I stumble back into the table again. They slam into the table on either side of me. I am pinned again. “Say it again.”

I breathe in sharply through my nose. Anger courses through me, and I as I am about to repeat myself, slower so he can actually follow the words, a knock sounds on the door.

Both of us turn to look at it. I forgot that there were others that could have heard us.

“What?” Eric snaps.

The door opens slowly and peering in is the Dauntless who was at the initiation, Four. His eyebrows are raised and Eric stands up at the sight of him.

“I heard yelling,” the man says. “Everything okay?”

“It's fine,” Eric says. His jaw is clenched. “Now fuck off.”

The man behind the door looks at me for a second, then back at Eric before he shrugs and disappears, shutting the door behind him.

I have to stop myself from calling him back. I look back at Eric, to see him breathing deeply before he stares at me. The air seems thick, despite the intrusion. “I need those names,” I say, referring to the list of volunteers I had come for.

He stares at me for a moment before running a hand over his hair and finally speaking. “Follow me.” He leaves quickly and I have to race to find my tablet, sitting innocuously on one of the tables, before following after him.  
  


* * *

 

Eric leads me through hallways I am not familiar with. Panic rises in my chest, and I try to tamper it down and not clutch at my tablet. Eric's words using it to hide behind still run through my mind and I refuse to give him the satisfaction of seeing me hold it like a shield.

He finally stops at a door and opens it, stepping forwards and turning on a light. There is a small computer on the desk, and it is neatly organized.

“Where are we?” I ask.

“My office,” he says.

He walks up to the desk but I don't move. I am not willing to give up the security of the open door. Not after last time.

He smirks at me from his desk before he pulls open a drawer and takes out a piece of paper. “These are the volunteers,” he says. “We chose them ourselves.” He strides towards me and offers the paper.

I take it, keeping my hand far enough away that I won't touch him. I tuck the paper into the cover of my tablet. I look up at him to find him staring at me again. It is a reoccurring habit that he has not broken. “I need to go back,” I tell him.

“Of course you do,” he says and he motions me out the door.

As we walk, I try and gain some semblance of my usual, polished self before exiting the compound but my hands shake. Even in the car I can't stop trying to flatten my skirt.

Eric watches as I leave, never saying another word. In his eyes, though, is a promise, that same dark look I've seen before. Fear floods me suddenly, and I am grateful for the distance the car puts between us. I feel like I can finally breathe.  
  


* * *

 

I want to hide. I want to run to my apartment, bar the door any way possible and hide. Instead, I force myself to leave the car and go back to Erudite.

Jeanine doesn't leave her lab all day and demands that she is not bothered for any reason. I don't see her all day. Instead, I spend the time trying to focus on the reports that have flooded my inbox and arranging Jeanine's schedule. She has meetings with the different divisions of Erudite, but the lack of notes that are accompanied with the requests lead me to believe that it has to do with her current mission. The thought of what she's doing in her lab is the only thing that sufficiently distracts me from Eric and the interaction in Dauntless.

When I finally reach my apartment, it seems like it has been ages since I've been there. This is supposed to be my area, my safe haven, but as I look around, suddenly all I can picture is Eric. I know what he looks like in here. I can picture him next to my bookshelves, looking over them. My throat closes, and my heart beat increases so much that it feels as if it is about to burst. I can't breathe. I can't-- _I can't do this._ The thought appears so suddenly and so clearly that I burst into tears before I can stop myself and my legs collapse from under me. I can barely breathe but I can still feel his hands on my legs, in my hair. I'm supposed to be better than this. I am supposed to be Erudite and an Erudite would not let a Dauntless touch her. They would not react. He's not supposed to... 

I stop. I inhale so sharply that my vision blanks for a second, and it takes me a few moments to get my body under control. He's not supposed to, so why is he? My hands shake as I stand up. I move towards the kitchen table and sit down in the closest chair. 

Why is a dangerous question, one that I have not allowed myself to ponder on too long. It is more productive to simply search for a solution, especially when there are missing components that would explain the why. Therefore, I need a solution to Eric. I had thought that Riley was that solution, however temporary but it seems not to be working. Steps need to be taken.

I stand up and grab the tablet that had fallen to the floor. Opening my calendar, I find the date for the next dinner with my family. It is later this week and it is perfect. I compose a simple message to Riley, informing him of the date and inviting him to meet my family. After it is sent, I send a similar message informing my family that I will be bringing a guest. My tablet sounds, informing me of Riley's enthusiastic acceptance of the invitation before I have sent out the message to my family. I set the tablet on the table and take a deep breath. I am stronger than this. I will not be blindsided again. 

**[tbc]**

 


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner does not go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is by far my favourite chapter so far. It's also the longest and you can thank Elle (aka paradigmflaws) for that because she convinced me not to break it up into separate chapters. Thank you to everyone for your comments and kudos. If you haven't commented yet, please do. I'd love to know what you think about this. Thank you also to Sarah for being my awesome beta. I hope you guys enjoy this one as much as I do.

Chapter Twenty

 

“Miss. Elswood!”

I look up in surprise at the sound of my name. Vera is waving to me from across the hall, close to the elevators. I raise my eyebrows at the sight but walk over quickly. I didn't want to see her until I had to, but I'm left with little choice. She is grinning at me, which should relieve me, but it does not. After the events where I last saw her, she should be more cautious. At least less likely to seek out Jeanine's assistant.

“Vera,” I greet as I get closer.

“Going up?” she asks.

I nod, and watch as she pushes the button to call the elevator. We wait silently and are joined by another figure. One of the sociologists who merely nods at us but does not speak.

“I wanted to thank you,” Vera says. I look at her curiously. “I obtained the data I required because of you.”

“Good,” I say. “And did you find the results you were looking for?” The elevator arrives and the three of us stepped into it. The sociologist presses the button for their floor and turns to me.

“Your office, Ms. Elswood?” the man asks. I nod and wait as he presses the button for my floor. Vera does not speak up and the sociologist does not ask.

Vera turns to me and answers my question. “It will be some time before the data can fully be incorporated into my theory. There are a lot of factors to consider and more variables than just age. But,” she grins at me, “it is the start I needed. I wouldn't have been able to do it without you, so thank you.” She shouldn't thank me, not when as she celebrates this achievement there are people who are planning to kill her.

“It's not a problem,” I say and my voice sounds tight. I catch sight of the sociologist's eyes glancing at us and I am tempted to stare back until he stops. The doors open though and with a nod in my direction, the sociologist leaves.

The elevator continues it's ascent and we stand in silence until Vera speaks.

“Is it true? What Jeanine said about Divergents?” Vera asks and I can see the fear in her eyes. “That they are dangerous? That they would see our society crumble around them?” She is getting more agitated and I briefly wonder how long it will be until my floor. It feels like ages. I wish she hadn't asked. I am required to note any suspicious behaviour, especially from Vera, and report it. This includes persistent questions about Divergents.

“Yes,” I answer. I don't know what else to say. I could relieve her fears, but there is little I can do to warn her and the panic might help her survive if she has any sense.

“I don't understand. How can they think that one person will cause so much damage?” I wish she would stop talking. She is digging her own grave deeper. “Why can't we work with them? How do we not know that all they want is to work with us, be a part of our system? I never – ” she cuts herself off and my heart sinks. She should have stopped. There are tears in her eyes and I have to take a deep breath before I can answer her.

“We do not have all the answers. Perhaps they do desire to do so, but it will take time for us to discover it. Jeanine simply, at this time, wants to understand them. The more we understand, the more we can prevent any destruction of our society. That is all.” I hate myself before I even continue. “There is nothing to fear, Vera. Not yet.” My last words serve as a warning. Whether or not she takes it is up to her.

I watch as she takes a deep breath and she smiles at me. “Sorry,” she says before wiping her eyes. “I think the serum still lingers in my system. Thank you.” It's impossible, but I stop myself from remarking on it. It can be a small comfort.

The doors finally open to my floor and I step off. I turn to face her and see her smile before the doors close between us. I hope she runs. She will not survive otherwise.  
  


* * *

  
Riley meets me at my desk when it is finally time for my family dinner. I want to cancel. I want to claim that I am too busy and attend the dinner alone. He's smiling at me when he sees me though, looking as if all is right in the world. My exchange with Vera still rings in my mind and I have to force a smile back. He is another unfortunately necessary issue that I have inflicted on myself. It is getting exhausting to deal with him.

“I have to say, I was surprised at receiving your invitation. I thought you were adamantly avoiding me.”

I am tempted to ignore him. “As I told you, I've been busy. There are things that require my attention that are more important than you at this time.” I can see his eyes harden, but he smiles.

“Of course,” he says. “Working for Jeanine is an important task. Are you ready? I do not want to keep your family waiting.”

I sigh and turn the computer off. Jeanine is in her lab and will inform me if she needs me. There is nothing that I can do to delay it any longer. I stand up and Riley is holding my coat. The weather has gotten increasingly colder. He helps me slip it on, and I grab my tablet. Riley's arm wraps around my waist and I can't help but compare it to Eric's. Eric exudes strength, but I know that I could escape Riley if I wanted and he could not stop me. It's a strange mix of relief and disappointment that floods through me and I don't know how to respond to it.

“Let's go.”  
  


* * *

  
“Amelia!”

My brother hugs me tightly when he opens the door. I can't help but smile.

“Brighton,” I hug him back tightly before releasing him. Riley makes a sound next to me and I push back the temptation to roll my eyes. Brighton does not. “Be nice,” I whisper before pulling back to Riley's side. “This is Riley...my fiance. Riley, this is my brother Brighton.”

Riley smiles, his eyes crinkling behind his glasses. “Pleasure to meet you, Brighton and not in a formal class setting.” Brighton stares at him for a moment before walking away. I'm not surprised. He's never been a fan of Riley, even before the engagement, but he's never explained why.

I try not to sigh. “I'm sorry,” I tell Riley. I should have expected this.

“It's fine,” he says. “He'll come around.” I hope not. I pull him further into my parent's home.

“Come on. My parents are inside.”

We find my mother first as we step into the main room. She walks towards us from the kitchen, smiling kindly. “Amelia,” her voice is soft and instantly I can feel the anxiety in me recede. “And you must be Riley,” she says as she turns to him. He nods and offers her his hand.

“Riley Givens, ma'am. It is a pleasure to meet the woman behind such an extraordinary daughter.” She takes his hand and shakes it, but I can see my mother is not impressed by his words. She's never been one for ostentatious praise. It almost makes me want to laugh.

“Indeed.” She looks at me and I can see the subtle raise of her eyebrows. I smile back. I cannot explain, though I wish I could. “Go and introduce him to your father. Dinner is nearly ready and Brighton will call you when the table is set.” She walks away and I can feel Riley's grip tighten on my waist slightly. He is far too used to being considerably high in power at Erudite. I imagine he is not used to anyone he finds lower than him dismissing him.

“Come,” I say, pulling him out of his thoughts. “My father is likely working.”  
  


* * *

  
My father is at his desk as usual. I motion for Riley to stop before I walk up next to my father. He is so engrossed in his work that he does not see me. “What are you working on?” I ask. My father jumps in his chair, and I have to hold back my laughter. He smiles when he sees me and hugs me tightly.

“Amelia, we've missed your presence.” He pulled back but kept his hands on my arms. “How is work?”

“Busy,” I answer. “As always.”

“Good.” He lets go and turns, blinking in surprise at Riley's presence. “Who is this?”

Riley strides forward looking as if he is going to barrel into my father. He towers over him, but offers his hand. “Riley Givens, Head Educator and Amelia's fiancee.” My father looks at him closely before nodding.

“Yes, she mentioned she accepted.” My father does not take his hand but wraps an arm around me. “Come, let us sit. Your mother may need assistance.” Riley's hand drops and I motion for him to follow. As we reach the table, still being set by Brighton, my father sits in his usual seat. There is space next to mine where I motion for Riley to join me. As he does so, my father turns to Riley. “So what is it that you do? What is the role of the Head Educator?” It's an easy question, but my father has only ever focused on his work which has little to do with the education sector and it is a small kindness that he is offering.

Riley seems to relax, comforted by a subject that is familiar ground for him. He smiles at my father, who merely stares back and waits. “As Head Educator, I am in charge of all those below me. I ensure that the standards are up to quality and that the curriculum is valid.”

“So you do not teach yourself?”

“I do not need to. As I said, I ensure that the other educators are up to par and remain so.” My father stares at him for a moment before he nods. Riley smiles at me but I know that he doesn't see what I see. His last words have lowered him in my father's mind.

Brighton sits across from Riley, next to my father. The table is set and my mother comes from the kitchen bearing a large dish. She sets it on the table before taking her seat next to me, facing my father. In the dish is a fairly large roasted chicken. Accompanying it are various vegetables.

“This looks delicious,” Riley says. I watch as my mother gives him a small smile.

“Thank you.” She motions to him. “Help yourself.”

As Riley leans forward, going to scoop some of the green beans on to his plate, there is a knock at the door. All of us look at each other in confusion.

“Did you invite someone, Brighton?” My mother asks. My brother shakes his head in confusion but stands up.

“I'll get it.”

I watch him leave and it suddenly feels like lead settles in my stomach. This scene is familiar.

Brighton walks back in, and the voice that follows stills me. Behind my brother is Eric. I stand up instantly, wanting him gone. Riley is watching in confusion.

“Sorry about being late,” Eric says, looking at my mother. “The train was delayed.”

“Late?” I ask. Why is he here? I push back my anger, mindful of the others around me. My mother looks at me curiously, but Eric is the one who answers.

“You did invite me,” he says. I did no such thing. “Remember?” he raises an eyebrow in challenge and my jaw clenches as I am tempted to meet it. “You wanted your family to meet the man you've been working so closely with.” He smiles suddenly, throwing my thoughts off track. I watch in surprise as he moves closer, towards my mother. “I brought this,” he offers her a package I hadn't even realized he was holding. “In apology for the intrusion last time, though...maybe it should be for this one as well.”

My mother moves forward and smiles at him. “Of course. We didn't expect to ever see you again, but you're welcome to join us. Brighton, set a place for him.” She takes the package from him. “What is it?”

“Cake,” he says lightly. “From Dauntless.”

My mother smiles and takes it into the kitchen. Within moments, Brighton has set a place at the table for Eric...directly across from me.

“I'm sorry,” Riley speaks up, startling me. I had forgotten he was there. “ _ Who _ are you?” Eric smirks as he sits down but to my surprise, Brighton answers.

“It's Eric.” Brighton is grinning widely from his spot next to the man in question. “He's Dauntless, and working with Amelia...or were you not listening?”

“Actually,” Eric says. “I'm one of the leaders of Dauntless.” He looks over and meets my eyes. “Amelia and I have been working together for quite some time now.” He looks back at Riley. “Who are you?”

“Riley Givens,” his voice is hard and he does not offer his hand. “Head Educator and Amelia's fiance.”

“Educator,” Eric raises his eyebrows. “Must be important.”

“Not as important as a leader,” Brighton says. Eric looks at my brother and smirks. Surprisingly, my brother doesn't even flinch. What is he doing? They should be afraid of him, not welcoming him to our table and acting as if he's meant to be there!

My mother arrives at the table just in time. “Where were we?” she said, before smiling. “Amelia, why don't you go first and we'll pass it along.” Riley stiffens next to me and I know that despite the light smile my mother has on her face, the slight is intentional.

“Certainly,” I say. I stand and reach for the closest dish, before placing some on my plate and handing it to Riley. This cannot end fast enough.  
  


* * *

  
“Amelia tells me that you work as a technician, designing the technology for Erudite.” My gaze snaps up to Eric. He is looking at my father, but I can see him glance in my direction. I told him no such thing. Where is he getting his information?

My father looks at Eric in surprise but nods. “I do. I work with others and create most of the the machinery used in Erudite, and in Dauntless. Those training simulations were built by us.”

“They have proven exceedingly useful with our initiates.”

“I doubt,” Riley speaks up. “That the trials of Dauntless can even be considered comparable to those of Erudite. Even archaic technology should be enough to sort out the inept.” I freeze, before turning to him.

“What do you mean?” I ask. Riley doesn't even seem to comprehend the fact that he just insulted my father's work. He sighs, like I am some wayward student he has to explain something to again.

“Dauntless is a faction of brute force. I am certain that as long as they can shoot a gun, they pass, unlike Erudite which is a series of rigorous tests and projects that stimulate the mind.” He looks at Eric. “Something I'm sure you would know nothing about.”

Eric smirks and leans forward. I feel myself almost straining to hear him. “Dauntless's initiation is done by testing the body and the mind the utmost limits. Most don't make it. The technology we use needs to be extraordinarily precise to draw people to their very limit. It is something we hold extremely valuable,” at this Eric meets my gaze. “Among other things.” He smiles and leans back in his chair. “You'd think for an Erudite that you would actually think before speaking. Perhaps I need to speak with Jeanine over just who is teaching the children.”

Riley inhales sharply through his nose, and Brighton bursts out laughing. Eric doesn't look away from Riley though. The tension in the room feels thick enough that I could cut through it with the carving knife. I stand up quickly, breaking it as I gain their attention.

“I'm finished, any one else?” I grab my plate off the table and look around. My parents have been watching the exchange carefully. Eric hands me his plate, and as I reach for it, my fingers brush his. I pull it back sharply, somehow managing not to throw food everywhere. “Brighton, grab the rest and help.” I try not to make it look as if I am fleeing to the kitchen.

Oh god. How can this be happening? Why is this happening? I feel as if I can barely breathe and I want to run away as far as possible from the men in the other room. How far would be far enough?

“What's going on Amelia?” My brother's voice crashes through my thoughts, drawing me back to the present.

I look at Brighton who is helping me wash the plates. It likely isn't safe to leave my parents alone with Eric and Riley, but I can't bring myself to care. I need a moment away from them. I wasn't expecting my brother to prove himself astute.

“What do you mean?”

“I'm not an idiot. Something's going on with you and Eric. He showed up, and then all of a sudden you're engaged to  _ Riley _ ? Come on.” My brother is looking at me expectantly, but there's nothing I can really tell him. 

“Look, I don't know why Eric keeps showing up,” I whisper. “I work with him, yes, but that's it. Riley is just a means to an end.” I shouldn't have said that.

Brighton grins at me. “I knew it.”

“Will you be quiet!” I hiss, glancing at the doorway. No one seems to have heard.

“For what it's worth,” he says lightly, “Eric is so much cooler.” I roll my eyes at him and turn my attention back to my task.

“Amelia, Brighton,” my mother appears behind us. “Go sit down. It's time for dessert.” I had forgotten about the cake that Eric brought. I half hoped it was terrible so that he never brought anything again. It was bad enough that my brother seemed to like him.  
  


* * *

  
Eric and Riley had not yet killed each other in my absence. My father, however, is gone. I look at my mother in confusion.

“Your father...was called away. Something involving his latest project.” The way she says it makes me think it was less of a work matter and more of one that involved tiring of the two men posturing at the table. My mother hands me two plates, one that I hand to Riley. I look at the dark brown square on the plate.

“It's not going to bite you,” Eric says. I look up at him to find him smirking.

“Perhaps,” Riley says, “she does not have a tolerance for overly sweet things.”

“Imagine that,” Eric replies. Brighton is watching the exchange in amusement. I try not to sigh and remind myself that as soon as dessert is done, they're leaving and I will be able to go to the peace of my apartment.

I cut a piece of cake with my fork and raise it to my mouth. I know it's unlikely that Eric would poison my whole family, though I wasn't certain about Riley, but I'm still not sure I want to eat his food. It is silly, but it feels like I am giving in to him in some way. I take a bite.

Oh my god.

I've never tasted anything like it. The chocolate is rich, the cake moist. It sits on my tongue, and I almost feel myself shiver. It is almost too decadent, but I can't stop. I need more. I chew and swallow, taking another piece with my fork. I bring it to my lips slowly, wondering how on earth such a simple thing could affect me so. I put it in my mouth and nearly moan, blushing as I realize what I almost did. I let it sit for a moment, determined to get all that I could out of it. I doubt I would ever taste anything like it again. I swallow and reach for another piece. Oh god.

I finish before I realize, and I lick my lips slowly, still tasting the remnants of it. I am tempted to lick my fork clean, but I feel someone's gaze on me. I look up to see Eric staring at me intently, his pupils blown wide. My mouth goes dry and my stomach clenches. I've seen a similar look in his eyes before, but nothing as intense as it was now. I try to swallow.

Eric's eyes leave mine for a second, glancing down at my lips. I inhale sharply and watch as he smirks. A hand touches my back, startling me and pulling me out of the gaze I felt locked in. I turn to look at Riley. He leans down slightly to whisper in my ear.

“I'm nearly ready to go. Are you?” I nod in response. I have to get out of here.

Eric stands up first, smiling at my mother. “Thank you for dinner, and the company,” his eyes flicker to mine, “but I'm afraid I have to leave. Dauntless can't be left alone for too long.” My mother smiles and nods.

“Thank you for coming,” she says. “Even if it was unexpected.” She looks at me then, as if this is my fault. He nods at her and shakes hands with my brother. He looks at Riley and I and nods.

“Riley,” he says. “Amelia...I'll see you soon.” Brighton follows him out, and comes back moments later grinning.

“Well, that was cool.”  
  


* * *

  
“What the hell was that?”

Riley is walking next to me, but his arm is not around my waist. Instead, both of us are bundled up in our coats with our hands shoved in our pockets.   
“What do you mean?” I ask. It had not been hard to convince Riley to walk me home, but I am regretting it already.

“That...Dauntless,” he spits out. “Him at your house, and your family knowing him?”

“You know I've been doing work with Dauntless for Jeanine. Eric is just one of the people I work with, that's all.” I try to burrow further into my coat. Winter is coming faster than I expected.

“The same Dauntless that the rumours are about?” Eric's presence has rattled him, and it's intriguing to see. He usually appears unshakable. It's almost a refreshing change. “Is he the one who...attacked you?” Oh god. The rumours. I had forgotten about them. I have to solve this quickly, to end Riley's suspicion.

“He was,” I say lightly. We're nearly at my building. “I cannot fathom his reasoning for his appearance tonight, nor do I know why he acted the way he did at Dauntless. We're nearly finished with our work there and once we are, I thankfully won't see him again.” Riley is silent, and I can only hope my words have assuaged any doubts.

We finally reach my building, but when I turn to face Riley, I know it's not going to be a simple goodbye.

“Let me walk you to your door.”

I agree, only because it's been a long night already and the sooner I get rid of him, the better. I did not expect to have him deal with Eric. I could give him this, and perhaps further relieve his doubts. “Come in then.”

The elevator feels like it takes longer than it ever has before. I keep reminding myself that soon he'll be gone and I will have peace. The silence though, does not last.

“We should go for testing soon,” he says. “At least start the process.” I have no doubt that it is Riley's way of attempting to lay claim on me. I have no plans on passing the tests.

“I'm not sure when I will be able to. Things are exceedingly busy.” He sighs, but the elevator doors open and I am eternally grateful to reach my floor. “I will have to let you know.”

“And will you this time? You've been avoiding me.” Riley looks annoyed, as if the thought of anyone avoiding him could be ludicrous.

“Yes, Riley, I will message you.” I stop myself from rolling my eyes. Finally, we're at my door. I turn to him. “This is my apartment.”

“Can I see it?” he asks.

“No.” I take a deep breath. “I am exhausted. I just want to go inside and go to sleep.” He doesn't look impressed. “Come here,” I motion for him to step closer. As he does so, I lean up on my toes and kiss him. His arms wrap around me, pulling me up to him. He deepens the kiss, and I let him, but there's nothing really too it. I go about the motions mechanically, my arm sliding up his until it goes around his neck. It's a means to an end. I need him to believe this.

I finally break the kiss and push him away. “Go home,” I say softly. “I'll be in touch.” Riley nods, looking slightly flustered. He kisses me quickly again before I watch him leave. Once he gets on the elevator, I open my door. I close it behind me, breathing a sigh of relief at the fact that I am finally alone. I lock the door and turn, only to stop dead. Eric is standing by my bookshelves.  
  


* * *

  
“What are you doing here?” Any trace of the smiling, amused Eric who was at my parent's house is gone. “How did you get in?” I demand.

Eric strides forwards and my heartbeat accelerates. I scramble backwards, but he catches up to me quickly. His hand reaches out, turning me as he presses close. The door is at my back and Eric raises his hands and places them on either side of my head. He is so close that I can smell him.

“Did you kiss him?” His voice is low, almost a growl but it snaps me out of my thoughts.

“Wha – ?”

“Did you kiss him?” He says slower. “When you were outside your door. Did you kiss him goodnight?” One of his hands leaves its spot next to my head and I feel his fingers trail down my arm. I am thankfully still in my coat. “Did you tell him you'd see him again? That next time you'd let him into your apartment?” He leans forwards and put his mouth against my ear. “Did you tell him you'd fuck him?”

Fury rises up in me and I shove him back. He stumbles, apparently not expecting my reaction. “How dare you!” I shove him again. “You show up at my parent's UNINVITED, you break into my apartment and now you're  _ accusing _ me _? _ Get out.” I step to the side, leaving the way to the door open. Eric doesn't move and it infuriates me. I've never been this angry before. I step towards him. “You have no right to my life, Eric. You don't get to dictate what I do and do not do.” I can see his jaw clench and his entire body is tense. I don't back down though. “Don't you get it? You're not welcome here.  _ I don't want you _ .” 

Eric moves faster than I expect, grabbing on to my coat and pulling me into him. His hand comes up to the back of my head, burying his fingers into my hair as he tilts my face up to meet his. I try to push him away but he's like steel. “Don't  _ fucking _ lie,” he growls before kissing me hard. My lips hit my teeth, and as much as I am determined not to give him a reaction, the thrill that runs up my spine betrays me. My mouth opens of it's own accord and I kiss him back. 

My arms reach up, wrapping around the back of his neck as I try to press closer. I shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't – his tongue strokes along mine and I can't bring myself to care. Teeth drag against my bottom lip, pulling it into his mouth before releasing it again. My fingers scratch along his scalp, and I can feel him sharply inhale. He breaks the kiss. He moves his lips down my jaw and along my neck. He pulls my head to the side, giving him better access as he kisses and sucks on the skin there. My whole body shudders.

“Tell me you don't fucking want this,” Eric's voice is low and the hands that were in my hair and on my waist move.

I kiss his cheek, before moving down to his jaw, that I remember is sensitive. I kiss down, towards his neck before he moves away slightly. His hands are back on me almost instantly but as he comes closer, I realize his jacket is off. The shirt he wears underneath is almost skin-tight. I can feel the muscles as my hand slides down the back of his shoulder. Oh god. How could I ever think of breaking away?

His hands undo my coat; opening the buttons with a patience I didn't expect him to have. The action draws me out of the haze that his kisses pulled me into. I pull my arms back from his neck, trying to stop him.

“Wait!” He ignores me, pushing my coat off of my shoulders. His lips are on mine again, blocking any protest I could make. One of his hands presses on my back, pushing me closer. My chest is pressed up against his, and the feel of the solidness of him causes everything in me to react. One of my hands goes back around his neck, keeping him against me, while the other went to his arm. The muscles clench underneath my touch and a part of me is glad to see that he's affected. That it's not just me.

His mouth moves back to my neck, and I tilt it, opening myself up for him. What am I doing? Oh god. He sucks hard, kissing and scraping gently with his teeth. He's going to leave a mark! He's – ! He moves, his teeth scrapes against my collarbone and all protest is lost.

“Eric...” I can barely breathe, let alone talk, and my body arches against his.

He doesn't move from his marking, sucking harder. One of his hands goes to my ass, squeezing it. “Amelia,” he breathes against my skin.

My nails dig into his arm. I can't – I don't want to stop. I need him closer. I need something that isn't just...expected anymore. I move my hand at the back of his head and drag my fingers across his scalp. He shudders against me before pulling back and meeting my eyes. His pupils are blown, and he's breathing hard but I've never seen him look smugger.

“Don't want me?” He teases. Before I can retort, he kisses me again. That hand that's not on my ass moves down my side and slips under my shirt. His hand feels like ice against the heat of my skin, and yet he burns.

I shudder as it reaches my ribs and his thumb strokes just under my breast. “Oh god,” I whisper. It feels as if his grip encompasses me and will never let me free. I break the kiss. “Eric...” He pulls back, but instead of stopping, or listening, his hands pull my blouse open, popping the buttons.

This is the most exposed I've ever been, and it's in front of him. “Eric, wait!” His hands touch my waist, and for a second I feel as if he's set me on fire. He stops for a second, staring at me as if enraptured at the sight. One of his hands goes to my cheek, pulling me in for another kiss. The fear lingers in my mind, but all I can focus on is his lips on mine and the touch of his hands. I just need...to be closer.

Without thinking, I lift one of my legs, hooking it around the back of his. I can feel him smile against my lips before his hands come to my ass and lift me. My heart nearly stops, but he guides my other leg to go around his waist. I clutch at him tightly, arms around his neck, afraid to fall, but his hands are steady and there's no sign of him dropping me. Instead, he just keeps kissing me, squeezing my ass with one hand while the other slides up my back freely. The desperation of his kisses slows, until I am drawn out of the fire and into the embers themselves. I have to trust his strength, and it is terrifying.

“Amelia,” he says softly. It feels as if it echoes through me. “Amelia, look at me.” When I do, he continues speaking. There is still anger in his gaze, but there's something else that I don't know how to place. It's almost worse than the anger. “Tell me again that you don't fucking want this – want me.” I open my mouth to reply, “And don't fucking say biology.” My mouth snaps shut. There's nothing I can say. He smirks at me and nods. “Thought so.” His hand slides down my leg before pushing it gently off of him. He places me back on the ground, standing and facing him. He bends down slightly, so that his face is in front of mine. His hand comes to the back of my head and he pulls me into a kiss that's nearly as heated as the first one. He breaks it. “You can't keep lying to yourself. Get rid of the fucking fiance, or I will.” He turns and leaves, stopping only to pick up his jacket.

I can only stare after him, my mind reeling. I sink to the floor slowly. What have I done?

 

_[tbc]_

 

 


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so there's a chapter coming up that deals with more...explicit things. If any of you don't want to read it, and want signs placed in so you can skip it, just let me know so I can ensure it's in.  
> Thank you everyone so far for all of your comments and kudos! It means the world and I love hearing from you. Please keep commenting! We've broken the 100 mark! On that note, this is a large chapter and a lot happens. So tell me what you think.  
> Also, quick note if you're interested. There are two one shots posted on my tumblr that are in the AoS universe. They take place from Four's point of view, and Eric's.   
> Enjoy!

Chapter Twenty-One

 

It feels like I can barely breathe. The events of that night reply in my mind constantly. I've been lucky so far, burying myself in my work far enough that I've been able to avoid Riley and Eric. There hasn't been a need to go back to Dauntless and I am eternally grateful for it. I can't face Eric. Not after that.

I should have said something, should have denied it. I couldn't though. Not when he was staring at me like that. Not after I had wanted him.

I should know better, but I am Erudite and Dauntless; he is intelligent and dangerous enough to intrigue both sides of me. He wants me and I am curious enough to let him have me and it's terrifying. I can't let it happen. No good can come of it.

“Amelia.” I am pulled from my thoughts, panicking for a second at the sound of Jeanine's voice. I calm myself down just as quickly, turning to look at her. She stands in her office door, looking as impressive and stern as always. “Come inside.”

I grab my tablet and follow her, ignoring the tightness of my chest. As she sits down in her chair, I take a seat across from her. My hands are steady as I wait. Luckily, she has never been one to dance around the point.

“I want you to arrange for volunteers from the other factions to come in for testing.” She's watching me carefully, her gaze steady behind her glasses.

“Alright,” I say carefully. I open up my tablet, ready to take notes. “Is there any particular excuse you want me to give them for coming in?” Her next words send my stomach plummeting. “I am certain you'll think of something satisfactory.” She straightens in her chair and smiles at me. “You're learning more each day, Amelia. I know that you'll prove yourself a valuable asset, one that will exceed my expectations. I want you to head all of the testing on the volunteers. Make sure everything is done properly and that they come in. Gregory and his assistants will assist in the testing. Send me your plans for approval before initiating them. Am I understood?”

Fear settles in the pit of my stomach, but I nod. “Yes, ma'am.” More responsibility and more duties that will only help her to find and destroy people like me. Genetic anomalies. A sudden thought occurs. There may be some good in this. “Ma'am?” I ask, catching her attention. “Will this project affect my work at the laboratory in Dauntless?”

“Of course not. Our work in Dauntless is one of the highest priority.” She leans forward, resting her elbows on her desk and clasping her hands together. I feel like one of the specimens under her microscope. “I would, however, have you draw back on your duties of assistant and focus on our goal.” I stare at her in surprise. Draw back from duties? “You want me to...stop being your assistant?” It feels as if the world is shifting under my feet. My chest tightens. Being her assistant is what has saved me so far.

“I am not incapable of managing my own schedule,” she says, her voice tight at the assumption. Before I can reel back, she continues. “You are one of the few I trust with this and you will work directly under me as usual. Amelia, you have proven yourself well so far and have the capability to go far beyond the boundaries of others in Erudite. It is time you show that.”

I am left speechless. Despite my utter fear of the woman, she still is the leader and highly respected for her intelligence and she is praising me. It doesn't feel right. “Thank you,” I say finally.

She nods in response. “This will be a gradual change, to acclimate you to your new position. I will inform you of a replacement.” I can only nod. “That is all.”

“Thank you,” I say again, automatically before rising and leaving her office.

I manage to make it to my desk, stopping myself from collapsing into my chair. How did this happen? In the span of a week, everything has changed. All of my plans, everything that I did to protect myself, is getting pulled out from under me. I am left floundering with choices that are not my own. How will I know if she becomes a danger to me before it is too late? And what exactly will working under her consist of? What will she have me do?

I take a deep breath and try to shove down the panic that I feel. I can do this. Human beings are adaptable creatures and I should be able to work this out. I just need time and a plan.  
 

* * *

 

It doesn't take long before I figure it out. It's a decision I was already planning on making, which is the only concession I can give myself. I am not giving into him. I'm not. This was my choice when I first put it into motion. I already know he won't take it that way but it's the only option I have. I can't refuse Jeanine, and that alone puts me in close contact with Dauntless. The only thing that can be moved is the very thing that Eric demanded of me. I need to end the engagement.

I do not have the time to schedule a meeting with Riley. My days have become busier than usual and what little free time I have is bound to be filled with the arrangements for the volunteers. Arrangements that I still need to make. The stress of it all feels overwhelming and it is only during the supposed time I have for lunch that I make my way to Riley's office. The sooner the better. Not only will this relieve some of the pressure but it will also be for Riley's own good. I cannot trust Eric and his threats. I can't have more blood on my hands.

I find Riley in his office, sitting behind his desk. His glasses are surprisingly not obscuring his face when he looks up as I knock. He grins widely, standing up and coming towards me. He kisses my cheek as he approaches.

“Amelia! To what do I owe this surprise.”

“I have to speak with you. Do you have a moment?”

“Of course,” he motions me to the chair before going back to sit behind his desk. It's a subtle show of power. “Is this about the tests?”

“In a way.” I take a deep breath and remind myself that I am doing this for me, no one else. “I want to break off the engagement.”

The pleased expression on his face melts off into a disbelieving stare. “What?”

“I want to end the engagement.”

“Why?” He's not happy. I can see the tension in his body and without his glasses it is easy to see the hard glint in his eyes.

“Because I choose to,” I say. My patience is running low and it is only years of experience that keeps my expression calm. The answer isn't one he wants, but I can't tell him the truth. I can't tell him that this was always my plan; that I cannot deal with him and Eric. I won't play with his life in my hands. “I am not in a position to marry anyone at this time, and I am even less inclined to marry someone who demands my attention and gets upset when my work takes precedence. It's over." I make to stand when his hand slams against his desk, startling me.

“That's bullshit.” The swear takes me by surprise. I would have expected a reaction like this from Eric, not him. He leans forward over his desk. “You and I are well matched, Amelia. We are the highest ranked in our positions. It's logical.” He takes a deep breath and seems to settle back into his chair. “I understand that your work is important, as is mine, which is why I thought that having this expedited would be beneficial to both of us. I can wait.”

I stare at him in shock. He is undermining my decision. Any ounce of respect I hold for him disappears. My eyes narrow at him, his words running through my mind again. “I once warned you,  _ Riley _ , that my work came first. You have not respected that, the same way you did not respect my family when they had you for dinner. I will not waste my time with someone who – ”

“But you will for a Dauntless?” His words are like ice. He sits across from me, looking smug. “Let's face it Amelia, the only future here for you in Erudite is with me. I am the best choice.” Fury burns through me. I do not have to take this. Not from him.

I stand up suddenly. “Perhaps,” I snap, “if you're so determined to have someone of status you should have proposed to Jeanine herself.” He looks shocked, not expecting my outburst. I feel as if I am going to scream. I can't stay here. I channel my inner Jeanine, hoping that the tone of my voice cuts through him. “You are not my only option. Do not contact me again about this.” I turn and leave, pausing at the door. “If you'll excuse me, I have work to do.”

Ignoring his protests, I leave. There are enough people around that I am confident he will not follow. I am not ready to go back to Jeanine though and my feet carry me outside to the courtyard. The chances of finding it empty are slim, and I content myself that the few people that are there are quietly studying, or simply passing through. I sit down at the nearest bench and just try to breathe. The engagement was over. Finally.

The news doesn't fill me with relief though. Instead, I just find myself tired. It's only one thing out of the way. I have to inform my family about the change in my status. There is the new work with Jeanine...and at some point I will have to deal with Eric's interest.

“Ms. Elswood? Are you alright?”

I look up at the voice. Standing before me is a nervous looking man, one whom I don't recognize. It's not surprising that he knows me, but his approach is unusual. He fidgets as I look at him, glancing around him as if he is afraid of the shadows jumping out at him.

“Do I know you?”

He swallows. “Not...quite. I'm a friend of a friend. You just looked...out of sorts.” His words strike a chord in me. I don't have any friends, not like his tone suggests. I peer at him, trying to figure out if I know him.

“Who are you?”

“Issac. I'm sorry if I intruded. I just...I thought it best to check. Excuse me.” He turns to flee.

“Wait!” I call out but to my surprise, he ignores me. I watch as he heads back into Erudite's building and disappears. A friend of a friend? Who on earth would...it strikes me so suddenly that I nearly recoil in shock. Eric.

Eric has an information source; one that I had known was in the education sector. If Issac was it, that explained his reluctance to give me his full name and why he looked terrified of approaching me. I stand up quickly. It would not be hard to find Issac and gain the truth of the matter. Then I could end Eric's information source, and perhaps he would grow tired of his interest in me. It was unlikely, but I could hope. It would be another thing that I wouldn't have to worry about. I move back to Erudite. I could no longer tarry and waste precious time. I have work to do.  
  


* * *

  
My search for Issac is relatively easy. There is only one by that name, in his age range, in the education sector. I take note of the location of his office, and his teaching hours. The timing has to be precise to corner him. I can't have him run from me, but I also need to ensure no one else will listen in. If I can catch him at during his office hours, and keep him there, it will be my advantage. In the meantime, I have to figure out a way to bring in volunteers from all the factions, without giving the true reason away.

The question plagues me. There is no honest way to bring them in, and to ensure that they actually come, the lie will have to be good. There is only one way to get everyone involved, and if it's done right, with few questions. I need to aim at their fears, particularly their fears for their health and their families. With that in mind, before I can stop myself, I type up a memo informing that all those who had have frequented The Hub in the last few days need to come in for generic health testing as a precaution due to an unprecedented gas leak. My throat feels tight as I send it off to Jeanine for approval. It is surprisingly fast that it returns to me with few edits, suggestions and the demand that it be sent back for final approval.

I try not to think as I make the changes. Every character I type is another one that helps seal someone else's fate. Oh god. What am I doing? Am I really willing to go this far, to bring in people for testing? The answer comes swiftly, a resounding yes. I can't let myself doubt this. I am doing what I need to. I am doing what I can to survive, and it is not my fault if others are not smart enough to do the same. Instead of relieving me, the guilt sits thick in my throat. I can't back down now.  
 

* * *

 

  
I wait until Issac is settled in his office before walking in. He looks up, and I watch as panic darts across his face. He stands up, looking ready to run.

“Ms. Elswood! What – what are you doing here?”

“Sit down, Mr. Kava,” I demand. He lowers himself slowly back into his chair and I stand on the other side of his desk. There's no need to sit. I won't be long. “This ends now.”

“I don't know what you mean? What ends?” He looks confused before glancing around, as if expecting Eric to jump out from behind a bookshelf. I take a deep breath and try to relax.

“Don't play me for a fool, Mr. Kava. I know very well that you have been informing the Dauntless leader Eric of my activities.” I lean forward, hands on his desk. He leans back, as if trying to retreat. He looks scared. Good. “That ends now. I don't care what he's threatened, if I hear another word of you telling him about me, you're life at Erudite will get exceedingly difficult. Am I understood?”

“You don't understand!” He exclaims, panicked. “You don't know what he'll do!”

“I don't care,” I snap. “You have a choice. You can end it, and let me deal with the fall out, or continue to act as his informant and see yourself Factionless. Then you will have to deal with him without the protection of Erudite.”

His mouth moves as if attempting to speak but no sound comes out. I nod, a sick feeling of satisfaction sits in me at his expression. “I've made my point. The decision is yours,” I say before turning and leaving his office. I can only hope that it's enough.

I am close the the exit when I hear his voice.

“Amelia!”

My entire body stiffens at the sound and I take a deep breath to steel myself against the oncoming assault before turning around. Riley is storming towards me. I sit behind a mask of indifference as I nod to him. “Riley.”

He stops when he's finally in front of me, close enough to touch. “We need to talk.”

“No we don't,” I say. “I've said all I have to say.”

“Well I haven't!” he snaps. “You're being illogical.”

I have to clench my teeth to keep myself from reacting. “I am not. I will not subject myself to the possibility of a lifetime of your ego. Excuse me.” I turn to leave but his arm reaches out and grabs me. His grip is tight, holding me in place. I have had enough of people touching me without my permission. I look back at him. “Release me this instant.” He doesn't.

“Listen to reason, Amelia. You and I both know that Erudite would prosper with our union.”

“Perhaps,” I grind out, “you did not hear me. Let go.”

“Not until we talk this out.” His grip tightens and I inhale sharply at the feeling. He moves closer, his voice lowering. “We can work this out.”

“You're hurting me,” I say tightly. “If you do not release me in this instant I will see you and your reputation destroyed.”

“By who? Your Dauntless pet?”

My eyes narrow. “You forget to whom you speak, Riley Givens. I am Jeanine's assistant and one word over the cause of my distraction and your danger to me will see you thrown to the very bottom of Erudite's hierarchy. Do not presume to test me. _ Let go _ .”

His hand releases me instantly but I already know it's going to bruise. His eyes are hard, but he's taken my words to heart for now. “This isn't finished,” he says. “We will speak of this.”

“No,” I say. “We won't. Go back to work.” I turn and leave. He does not stop me but the ache in my arm is a reminder of the confrontation. I knew he would not take the news of the end of the engagement well, but I had not expected his persistence. It didn't matter. I could take care of it. I didn't lie when I threatened him. I would do what I had to...I always have.  
  


* * *

  
Dauntless is the first to be tested. The approved memo was sent out earlier, and the demands for testing have increased. It is a lot to schedule. Luckily, Jeanine is dealing with the leaders over the reasons that the supposed leak happened, the possible effects of it and how to ensure it never happens again. This leaves me overlooking the lab and watching as various Dauntless members are to be situated in chairs and scanned while doctors ask questions.

I wait at the entrance of Erudite for the Dauntless and it doesn't take long to see them jumping from the train before making their way over. People mutter, moving out of their way as Eric leads them towards me.

“Amelia,” he says, looking far too pleased to just see me.

“Eric,” I reply before looking over the rest of the Dauntless. “Thank you for coming. If you'll follow me.” The Dauntless follow without question, and Eric falls into step beside me when I turn and lead them into the building.

“Heard about the engagement,” he says lightly. “Shame it didn't work out.” I ignore him. I will not dignify that with the response that he's looking for.

It is not far to the laboratory, and despite my lack of answering, Eric has yet to demand my attention. When we enter, the doctors stand to greet me. Gregory walks up to me first; the same assistant that accompanied him and Jeanine when they worked on the Dauntless boy follows him.

“Amelia,” Gregory says as he steps closer. I raise my eyebrows at the familiarity. We are not close enough for the use of my first name, especially since I am usually referred to by my last name. Eric catches his attention at my side though and it is only the assistant that notices. “I'm glad you could make it,” he says to Eric. I am surprised his voice doesn't falter.

“Is everything ready?” I ask.

“Oh, yes. We have individual stations prepped for the general assessment and the machines are set and ready for the scans.”

“How long will it take?” Eric asks. His face is calm and any previous amusement is erased in the sight of others.

“A couple of hours,” Gregory answers. “Give or take.”

Eric nods before turning back to his followers. “Listen to the doctors and do what they tell you. Go!” The Dauntless scramble forwards and I nearly step back in surprise. Gregory stutters as he orders them to sit in various sections. Once I see that everything is in order, I move to the side and open my tablet. I need to check on the scheduling for the other factions.

Eric moves and follows me, standing close enough that I can practically feel him. I focus on the tablet, looking over the notice that the leaders will be present when the people of their factions are tested. Another stress. I can only pray that Jeanine will be there with them.

“Did he cry?” he asks. The laboratory is busy and loud enough to cover his voice. I add in the final times for the volunteers into my schedule, determined to not react. “Did he demand why?” he leans down, his lips next to my ear when he finally asks. “Did you tell him how close you were to fucking me?”

I turn to face him, jaw clenched as I see that smirk on his face. I gave him exactly what he wanted. My eyes narrow. “I ended the engagement for my own reasons, not because of you.”

“That's bullshit,” he says. He looks at me like I'm an idiot.

“Despite what you think, you do not control everything that I do. And in regards to that kiss? It didn't mean anything,” I say slowly. “Surely even you can recognize a simple biological reaction to your physical demands. What did you expect?”

His entire demeanour changes, and the serious look in his eyes strikes alarm within me as he moves to stand closer. He grabs my arm, hitting the same spot where Riley had the day before. I can't stop myself from flinching and crying out at the pressure. His hand drops instantly.

“What happened?” His voice is hard, and I look up to see him staring at my arm. I shift, turning away to face the room again.

“It's nothing.”

“That wasn't fucking nothing.” He grabs my wrist, turning me back to face him as he tries to shove the sleeve of my jacket up.

“Stop it!” I try to push his hand away. “I said it was nothing.”

“Amelia.” The way he says my name sends shivers down my spine. It is a dangerous tone. “Show me.”

“There's nothing to show.”

“Really?” he asks, raising his eyebrows. He presses a finger in the exact spot of the bruise, causing me to automatically try to pull my arm from his grasp and nearly drop my tablet.

“Ow! Stop it.” I glare up at him, but he merely stares back. Why does he even care? It shouldn't matter.

“What happened?” he demands again. Fear runs through me for a second. He's already threatened Riley and despite my dislike of the man, I won't have his blood on my hands.

“It's none of your business, alright?” I try to pull myself out of his grip, but it doesn't give.

“The hell it isn't. Who the fuck hurt you?” His thumb is stroking the inside of my wrist, and he's staring at me looking ready to hunt down the perpetrator and avenge me. If I wasn't certain he was out for blood, I might be tempted to let him. I won't though. His attention, his reaction, doesn't make sense. Yes, the evidence points to his obvious attraction to me, but it's illogical. He shouldn't care this much. Not about a bruise.

“I never said anyone hurt me. I said it wasn't your business, which it's not.”

He leans close, his face inches from mine. “Don't fuck around with me, Amelia. I know an injury when I see it. Tell me what happened.”

I stare back at him. “No.”

He inhales sharply. “Who are you protecting?”

“There's no one too protect.” I take a deep breath and try to calm the emotions that seem to run rampant in me every time I interact with him. It's all anger and fear. I won't let myself consider anything else.

“Ms. Elswood?”

Eric drops my wrist and I look over to see the assistant that works with Gregory standing there. She looks between the two of us before her gaze settles on me. “Forgive the interruption, but Dr. Fisher is asking for you.” I've never been so thankful for Gregory in my life. I nod at her and turn to Eric.

“Excuse me.” I turn to leave, but Eric grabs the wrist of the arm that's not injured. His grip is soft, yet unrelenting. He moves forward to speak low enough that the other woman can't hear him.

“I will find out Amelia.” His thumb traces over my pulse point and I have to force myself to not react. I glance back at him.

“Good luck.”  
 

* * *

  
Gregory keeps me occupied enough to keep me away from Eric. He is very concerned over the Dauntless and, according to him, a respectable young woman of Erudite should not be forced to mingle with the brutes of Dauntless. If only he knew.

The Dauntless shift with impatience as they wait for the last scans to be completed. There are murmurs between them, but as I look up to see what's happening, Eric has glared them into silence. Once the final Dauntless jumps from their chair, Eric walks up to Gregory and I.

“Well? Are they going to live?” He says snidely and I look at Gregory who is staring at Eric with a trace of fear in his eyes.

“Um, well, I have to go over all of the results more...in depth, but yes,” he nods. “They look fine. We'll let you know if anything is wrong.”

“Amelia knows how to reach me,” Eric says. “Send word through her.” I try not to argue. He is aiming for a reaction, especially after the argument earlier.

“If that's all,” I say to Gregory. “We should let the Dauntless return to their faction. Where they belong.” My voice gets hard at the end, but Eric just smirks at me. I force a smile. “If you'll follow me.” I motion him forwards, amused suddenly at the change of position between us, and walk back to the doors. Eric falls into step beside me and I can hear the other Dauntless following.

I keep my pace quick, desperate to see them out of Erudite. The sound of my heels is muffled under the thundering of their boots. The Dauntless do not know how to walk quietly. Eric has yet to say anything, and it makes me increasingly nervous. Nothing good happens when he is silent.

We finally make it back to the entrance, and I watch as Erudite's scatter and watch. I stop outside the entrance, as does Eric. The Dauntless exit but wait, watching their leader.

“Thank you for coming in for testing,” I say to them. My voice is calm and professional, a state I wish I felt. “You will be informed of any irregularities found.” The Dauntless nod, and I hear some of them offer their thanks, but all of them watch Eric and Eric's eyes are still on me. He makes a signal, something with his hand that I don't catch and the Dauntless run into the wind, heading towards the train tracks. They cheer as they run, but Eric doesn't move.

I nod at him. “Eric,” I dismiss, before turning to head back inside my faction. His arm grabs mine, careful of the bruise on it. I still.

He steps forward, but doesn't turn me to face him. Instead, I feel his back against mine and his lips against my ear. “I  _ will _ find out.”

“You can try,” I reply. I don't attempt to face him, but I can see people staring from inside Erudite. Oh god. I turn quickly, desperate suddenly to send him on his way. He barely steps back and his hand remains on my arm. “I know about Issac, Eric.” There's a brief look of confusion in his eyes before I elaborate. “I know who your informant is. I have already spoken to him and it's over.”

He laughs suddenly but there is nothing kind in it. He looks amused when he looks down at me.

“Impressive.” 

My eyes narrow. There's something else. He doesn't say anything though. Instead his hand relaxes it's grip, slowly trailing down the skin of my arm until he touches my hand. I pull it back quickly.

His eyes harden and my breath catches in my throat at the sight. “I'll see you soon, Amelia,” he says. It sounds like a promise. Before I can say anything else, he turns and runs towards the train tracks. I stand there and watch, curiosity overtaking me, as the train comes forwards. The Dauntless run next to it before pulling themselves on to it. The force and speed required to do such a thing is impressive. In moments, the train is gone and I am left standing alone in the entrance. I turn and walk back inside Erudite, ignoring the stares I can feel on me. The rumours are only going to get worse.  
  


* * *

  
The days pass without any sign of Eric. It is one thing I am grateful for as the rest of the factions come in for testing. Jeanine makes herself present, keeping the attention of the three representatives as I ensure everything runs smoothly. I consider myself lucky that I don't have to deal with them myself. Candor makes me nervous. They always have. I am strung tight enough already. I cannot have one of them recognizing any signs that I am faltering. Amity and Abnegation just continue to confuse me. I do not understand how they can still strive for peace and continue to be selfless. They do not know the truth of the world otherwise everything would be different. I'm certain of it.

The message demanding my presence comes in early in the morning, before I am ready to leave for work. The sight of it causes my stomach to sink. The last time Jeanine demanded my presence like this, she had the Dauntless boy in for testing. I get ready quickly, ignoring the tightness in my chest as I head to Erudite. Let me be wrong.

The building is silent. The sound of my heels echo through the halls as I make my way to Jeanine's lab. The scans don't bring up the usual worry they cause. Instead, I am more afraid of what I am about to find beyond the door. The door slides open without a sound and I walk in slowly. Jeanine is standing next to Gregory and as she turns to look at me, I can see one thing clearly. Vera is sitting opposite them, strapped to a chair.

“Ah, Amelia, good of you to join us,” Jeanine says before turning back to face Vera. I nod and walk up slowly. My throat feels tight. The closer I get, the more I can make out the tracks that the tears have left on Vera's cheeks. Vera's eyes cut to me sharply. “As you can see – ”

“Ms. Elswood!” Vera cuts Jeanine off, pleading as she looks at me. “Amelia, please! I didn't do anything! I didn't –” Gregory strides forwards and covers Vera's mouth, effectively gagging her. She's crying harder and everything in my screams at me to run. Jeanine looks at me though, waiting for me to respond. I can barely breathe as I step forward. This wasn't just some Dauntless boy whom none of us knew. This was an Erudite. This could be me. The thought sits thick in my throat, weighing down my words. As sorry as I am, I can't react with anything less than an Erudite response that Jeanine expects. I am saving myself. She should have done the same.

I step forwards and look at Vera. She seems so young. “You have to understand,” I say softly. I sound patronizing even to myself. “What you are is a danger to us all. Your sacrifice will help save us. Surely you can understand that?”

Her eyes widen at my words and she starts crying harder. I can't watch. I turn to face Jeanine who is looking at me with approval in her eyes. I feel sick. “What do you have planned?”

“We're going to go slow. We don't want to lose her like our last subject,” Jeanine says. I open the tablet at her words. Notes will be necessary. “She is to be kept sedated when not undergoing testing where her mind needs to be active. I want full scope blood work done, as well as MRIs and EEGs. Her physical health  _ must _ be monitored during this process. Once that is complete, we will start the testing of the serums, continually scanning her for any changes to her biometric system. I want full reports on everything. Understood?” 

My fingers speed over the tablet and I nod. “Yes, ma'am.”

“Good. Clear my schedule. Most of my time will be spent here. I expect you to take care of any inquiries, as well as any emails or demands for my time. Send me only what is necessary and requires my attention. I am not to be disturbed.” It is an order and one I will gladly take. Anything to keep me out of this lab. “During this time I want you to return to Dauntless. Take technicians and see to the equipment there. There have been issues cropping up on our systems here.” Her words still me. Return to Dauntless? I haven't heard of any issues but I slowly nod. I will not defy her. Not now.

“Yes, ma'am,” I say.

“They should expect you tomorrow afternoon. That is all.” Jeanine moves away from me, going deeper into the lab.

I had steadfastly refused to look at Vera, especially since she fell silent, but as I look after Jeanine, I cannot help but see her. She is unconscious, slumped in her chair and held up only by her restraints. Gregory stands next to her and when I look at him, he gives me a smile and a nod. I nod back automatically. This is all my fault.

I leave the lab, feeling as if on autopilot as I reach my desk without thought. The feeling suddenly overwhelms me, and I am forced to flee to the nearest washroom. It is thankfully empty. I lock the door quickly and slump against it. I cannot breathe. It feels as if my chest is being crushed by the weight of my guilt. What have I done? It is because of me, because of my actions and information that Vera sits up there. Better her than me, but the thought does nothing to relieve the pressure of the obvious panic attack.

I forced in a deep breath, counting slowly as I exhaled. I could handle this. I had to. There was no alternative. I tried to stop my hands from trembling. Oh god. I can't do this. I focused on my breathing, counting slowly each time to try and regulate it. When I finally felt like I could breathe again, I stood up. I did not have the luxury of regret. Not here and not now. Vera could have saved herself. I gave warning. It is not my fault. Despite how many times I tell myself that, the weight on my chest never lifts. I do not believe it.

 

_[tbc]_

 


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amelia breaks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We passed 100 comments! This is amazing! Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this and telling me what you think. I'm so glad you're all enjoying it! This chapter is another large one, but it could not be broken. You'll see. Thank you once again to Sarah, my beta, for editing this and Elle (aka paradigmflaws) for prompting me throughout it. Hope you like it!

 

Chapter Twenty Two

 

I did not expect the sharp sense of relief that I felt on my way to Dauntless. It is a small thing, but the knowledge that I am far away from Jeanine comforts me for once. Two technicians who have fitted themselves in the front seat and the next seat accompany me. The technician next to me had apologized for taking up the space with me until I finally commanded him to be silent. I could not take it any longer. It effectively sent the whole car into silence as we drove to Dauntless.

The weather was bitter cold, so it was no surprise to not see Eric waiting for us. As the driver opened my door though, he appeared and ushered me into the compound quickly, moving himself to shield me from most of the wind. The others were left to fend for themselves, but they followed just as quickly. Cold is a powerful motivator.

“Amelia,” Eric says when we are finally inside. He brushes a trace of snow that the wind picked up from my coat.

“Eric,” I nod. “Let's get this over with quickly.”

“Of course.” He leads me forward, a hand on the small of my back. It is a small enough action that I allow. I am too tired to push him away and argue about it. The technicians follow slowly, more mindful of the steep drops from the walkways.

“I told you I'd see you soon,” Eric says. I don't bother looking at him. I know he likely has a smug look on his face.

“So you did,” I say. I don't have the energy to deal with him. He doesn't say anything in return but I feel his eyes on me.

It isn't long before we reach the laboratory past the security system. The technicians get to work immediately and the driver is left waiting by the door. I move further into the room, checking it over before I finally seat myself on one of the chairs by the desks. I open my tablet, looking over the messages that have come in for Jeanine. Many of them are updates on what the sections of the faction are working on, but there are some requests for her assistance. There is also a request for her presence in one of the classrooms. They are covering the history of the factions and are asking each leader or representative of the factions to come in and speak with the children. I make a note of it. Jeanine will want to make her ideas known to impressionable minds.

I am deep in my work, organizing Jeanine's schedule for the next few weeks and replying to the non-essential requests when I realize something. It is too quiet. I look up from my tablet only to see the technicians and driver are gone. There is only Eric, standing by the door with his arms crossed as he watches me.

“Where is everyone?” I ask as I stand from the chair.

“Gone,” he says. “They left without you.”

“They would not.” They wouldn't dare. He's watching me, still amused. “Where are they?”

“Gone,” he repeats.

My eyes narrow and I move towards the door. Eric doesn't stop me as I find my way out of Dauntless. I don't see a trace of blue in my path. When I finally reach the door to the outside, he moves quickly and steps in front of me. “Move.”

The smirk on his face slowly grows. “You're not going anywhere.” Fear strikes through me like lightning.

“Excuse me?” I straighten my spine, glaring at him. “You cannot order me around, Eric. I am Jeanine's assistant and...” my words die as he pushes open the door behind me. The world outside is white and it is almost impossible to see where the car is. The wind howls as he closes the door. “Oh.”

A storm has struck and by all appearances, I am stuck at Dauntless. “I need to get back to Erudite.”

Eric looks at me as if I am stupid. “The warning has been given. All transportation is shut down, even the trains. They're going to be shutting down all unnecessary energy consumption. You have to remain here until the roads clear.”

“But that could be days!” I argue.

He just grins. “Yes.” He looks utterly pleased with himself that the anger that sits in my veins flares up. How dare he. As if I don't have enough to deal with.

I storm forwards before I can stop myself, reel my hand back and slap him as hard as I can. His face turns to the side and the world feels as if it's paused, holding its breath for his reaction. My palm stings. “I am not one of your subjects in Dauntless,” I snarl. “I am Erudite and I will be respected.” I take a deep breath as he turns to finally look at me. The intensity of his stare breaks through me. I cannot stay here. “It is my choice,” I mutter, pushing past him and throwing open the door to the outside. I run before I can stop myself.

The wind batters my face and I can barely see in front of me. I am not wearing enough for this. My heels hinder me as I press forward, determined to make it to where I know the car is. I slip, falling to the ground as I curse the impractical shoes. As a start to stand, something wraps around my waist, pulling me back.

“No!” I kick out, trying to get them to release me, but I am no match against the strength holding me. I am drawn back into the compound, pushed inside as the door slams behind me.

“Are you a _ fucking _ idiot?” Eric stands there, looking more furious than I've ever seen him. 

I glare back. “I will not be forced to remain here. I have to get back.” I should never have come. The relief I felt at leaving Erudite leaves me hollow. I left Vera in the hands of Jeanine, and now there is nothing left to help her. The cold I feel has little to do with the snow that melts through my clothes. 

“There is a fucking snow storm outside,” Eric steps closer. “The city is in lockdown.”

I don't care. I can't tell him that in this moment I would rather freeze to my death outside than be subjected to my own thoughts. I can't stop myself from shivering as the cold seems to seep into my bones. “I am not staying.”

“You don't have a choice.” He grabs my arm, pulling me away from the door, away from my freedom. His words ring through my ears and I strike at him, digging my heels in. The hell I don't.

“Don't touch me! Let go!”

He doesn't react. I swipe at him, aiming for his face but his hand grips my wrist tightly. “I wouldn't,” he warns, his voice tight. He wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me back before lifting me and carrying me as he strides forwards. It is an impressive show of strength and I do everything I can to kick at him, trying to get free. I am no match for a Dauntless leader though, and despite the scene we cause as he continues past other Dauntless, no one stops us.

The building around us changes as we move away from the stone underground. I am surrounded by glass as I realize he carried me up. I have never seen this part of Dauntless before. My heart pounds in my chest as the anger in me slowly turns to fear. I can see past the walkways to the unending cavern below. I would be lost if I escaped him and I am certain he knows it.

He finally stops, after entering a room and I drop to my feet, stumbling at the sudden impact. I've lost my heels during the journey. The floor is freezing and I can't help but look around as I turn to face him. It is an apartment, one that is larger than mine and meticulously neat. The large bed in the corner catches my attention before something hits me. It falls to the ground and I glare at Eric, who stands there staring at me. Another glance at the ground shows a pile of fabric, likely his own clothes.  
I cross my arms over my chest and merely stare at him. “I'm not wearing those.” A look of complete frustration crosses his face for an instant, and I wonder if this will finally break his interest. 

“Don't be ridiculous. You're freezing.”

“I'm fine,” I say, but it's an obvious lie. Now that I am away from him, the cold has seeped back in and I am shaking again. My mind mentally goes over the signs of hypothermia and I am still in the early stages. I do need to get out of my clothes, but I will not wear his.

He moves forward and stands before me. He leans down so that his face is in front of mine. “Either you wear them, or you wear nothing.”

My eyes narrow at the implication. “You wouldn't dare.”

“Try me.”

There's little doubt in my mind that he would toss me out naked. I could easily picture him tearing my blouse and tossing me out of his apartment, left to the mercy of the other Dauntless. I bend down and pick up the clothes, trying to ignore the pleased look on his face. I raise my head, trying to reel myself back into my professionalism. Perhaps the sooner I am changed the sooner he will let me leave. “Which way to the washroom?”

 

* * *

  
The shirt Eric gave me engulfs me, ending at my thighs. It highlights the size difference between us immensely. The pants are nearly useless. They are far too big and there is no way they stay on my hips, despite my attempts to fix it. The legs themselves had to be rolled up multiple times just so I wouldn't trip on them. I felt ridiculous all in black, and it didn't sit right in me. I was Erudite. I had always been Erudite, even when the test claimed otherwise. I chose Erudite. I did not choose Dauntless.

I hesitate before leaving the washroom. I ignore the feeling of embarrassment as I hold up the pants by the waistline as I step out into the room. A sharp inhale catches my attention and I look up to see Eric staring at me. Everything in me tells me to flee at the sight of him. In his eyes is the same look that he had when he was last in my apartment.

“I hung up my clothes in the washroom,” I tell him. My hair is still pinned back into a bun, and my glasses rest on the bridge of my nose. I clutch my tablet tightly. “If you would show me to the nearest spare room, it would be appreciated.” I am trying to be polite but I catch the slightly steel in my voice. I open the tablet and quickly send a note to Jeanine, informing her of the complication that has arisen. I will not be returning until the roads are clear enough that I can make it through. She should get it before the communications are shut down. If I am lucky, she will send assistance sooner than later.

“You'll stay here.” His voice cuts through my thoughts and as the words register, I look up at him.

“ _ Excuse me? _ ” My voice is like ice. Stay here? With him? 

“I can't let Jeanine's pet wander through Dauntless. What will they think?” He moves closer to me and his words reverberate in my ears.

“I am not her pet,” I snap as I step forwards, placing the tablet on the nearest flat surface. Fury floods through me at the thought. “I am her assistant, one that is highly valuable.” The words catch in my throat. I am valuable. I do the smaller, necessary things that allow her to focus on her work. I have found Divergents for her. In that moment I realize something. I am no better than the man who stands before me.

“You are a pet,” Eric reiterates slowly. “Always doing her bidding.”

My jaw clenches and I glare up at him. I have never hated anyone more than I do now, looking at him. He's right. I am at her beck and call, destroying others in an effort to save myself. My hands shake. Vera's face springs to mind, gagged and tears running down her cheeks, a stark contrast to the smiling Amity transfer. It is all my fault.

Something breaks inside me and I am suddenly desperate to stop thinking. I cannot survive if I let myself focus on the consequences of my actions. Eric suddenly feels impossibly close. He has a way of obtaining my attention and keeping it solely on him, drowning out anything else. I need that now.

I reach up and grab the collar of his jacket, pulling him down as I push myself up on my toes. I meet his lips desperately. His arms wrap around me instantly, pulling me into his chest. He deepens the kiss, one of his hands digging into my hair and keeping me there. I move one of my arms up around his neck, while the hand holding his collar slips under it, trying to push it off. I feel him smile under my lips.

I break the kiss, and his lips touch the side of my mouth, then along my jaw before reaching my neck. I shove his jacket off of his shoulders, and he lets go of me to shake it off, flinging it somewhere in the room. He takes my glasses, sliding them off of my face before throwing them somewhere. Before I can argue, his hands grab both sides of my neck before he kisses me hard. I let myself relax in his hold, opening my mouth to his.

My hands press on his solidness of his chest, feeling the muscles move with every move he makes. There was no one at Erudite like this. No one like him. My hands tug up his shirt, reaching under to feel the heat of his skin. He inhales sharply at my touch.

The pants I wore pool at my feet and Eric's hand touches the back of my thigh where the shirt ends. My breath hitches at the feeling. It's not enough. I pull at his shirt and he finally breaks the kiss to take it off. My throat tightens and my mouth goes dry at the sight. He is unlike anything I've seen before, except in pictures in books. Before I can think further, he is kissing me again.

His skin feels like fire and every touch burns the cold away. His hand splays across my back, pinning me to him.

“Eric,” I breathe. I need him closer. I need him to burn the thoughts that threaten to consume me. I cannot live with the hate I feel for myself. Not now.

“Amelia,” he says against my lips.

I push him back, and the action takes him by surprise enough that he releases me and stumbles back onto the bed. How did we even get this close? I throw the thought from my mind, and as I feel Eric's eyes on me, I pull off the shirt I wear. I step forwards, moving to straddle his legs before I kiss him hard.

He returns the kiss for a moment, before moving, grabbing the backs of my thighs and pulling my legs closer around him until our hips are against each other. His movements suddenly slow, no longer holding the desperation I wanted. I roll my hips into his, wanting more. I need more.

His hand slides up my thigh slowly, nearly encompassing it. He rests on the small of my back, and his other hands moves to cup my cheek. “Amelia,” he says softly.

I rock my hips into his again, feeling the hardness of his growing erection. Why is he doing this? Isn't this what he wanted? I scrape my teeth against his jaw, needing him to react. To stop the slow strokes up my back. His grip on my thigh tightens. A whine makes it way out of my throat. This isn't enough. I kiss the tattoos on his neck, biting down enough that his hips jerk against mine. That was an interesting reaction. Before I could attempt to recreate it, he stands, still holding me, before turning and dropping me on to the bed.

I bounce slightly but he is on me before I can really move. He fits himself in between my legs and trails his fingers up my legs. They continue their path, burning slowly up my ribs. I flinch at the contact, and I can see the awareness of the sensitivity of them light up in Eric's eyes. He smirks, but his fingers keep going. They skirt just around my breasts, still covered with the plain white bra I had put on earlier. When they finally reach my shoulders, I can barely think. He should not be able to do this with a simple touch. Not when he barely hit any erogenous zones on my body.

He finally kisses me again and there is a trace of the desperation I crave in it. He holds himself up over me and surrounds me. There is no escape like this, and nothing left to focus on but him. I grab the back of his neck, kissing him harder. I move my leg, hooking it around him to pull him closer.

He pulls back, leaving me blinking in confusion. I watch as he sits up, kneeling over me as he undoes his pants. I take the opportunity to undo my bra, throwing it to the side. He doesn't move for a moment, staring at me as he kneels above me. His mouth is open slightly, and his chest heaves with every breath. He leans back down, finally, and my arms welcome the distraction he serves.

He kisses me softly though, and when I try to deepen it, to make it harder, his hand comes up and pulls my hair out of its bun. I wince at the pull of it, and as certain as I am that he throws away the elastic, my focus is solely on his lips. His hand digs itself into my hair, twisting it around his fingers before he pulls it to the side, breaking the kiss and exposing my neck to him. My breath comes in sharply, but his lips are on my neck, kissing and sucking bruises onto it.

“Please,” I nearly beg. He ignores me. The hand that is not in my hair strokes up and down my side slowly. I move my hands, one of them digs into the muscle of his shoulder while the other reaches down. He has removed his underwear and I can feel him hard against me. It would not take much to force the reaction I want. As my hand brushes against the skin of his abdomen, the hand that stroked my side grabs it. He weaves his fingers through mine before pinning it to the bed. My chest clenches. His hand engulfs mine and when I move my hand off of his shoulder, to press against his chest, he untangles his hand from my hair and does the same with that that one. I am left pinned and exposed to him. He pulls back from my neck and looks at me as I try to pull away from his bonds.

My eyes narrow at him. “I thought you promised a release,” I ask, remembering the promise to sex as stress relief.

His lips curl up slowly. “You'll get your release. My way.” He moves to the other side of my neck, his tongue brushing the bottom lobe of my ear. This wasn't the plan.

His mouth is a weapon, one he uses well. He moves down from my neck, tracing my collarbone with his tongue and his teeth, causing my body to shudder against him. He pulls my hands lower, lessening the ache of their position. He kisses down the valley between my breasts and I try to arch up into him. He only pulls back, lessening the heat that builds between us. He moves his legs over mine, using the weight of his to hold me down. I am truly trapped beneath him.

He spends far too much time on the skin around my breasts. My nipples pucker despite the lack of attention and I am left wanting. His mouth finally closes around one of them, sucking hard and causing me to cry out at the sensation. Oh god. He is tormenting me, punishing me with every touch of his tongue. His teeth scrape against the skin before he moves to the other one. I want his hands on me, not holding me down. This time, I do beg.

“Please!”

It only causes him to move, leaving my breasts demanding more attention. His lips trace along my rib cage until he finds the very spot that causes me to pull from him. He lavishes his focus on it, sucking hard as if trying to brand himself on me. Research says that women often find more of a release with increased amounts of foreplay, but this...this is different. He is learning every inch of me.

I try to pull away, but his weight and the grip of his hands keep me still. Eric moves away from my ribs, across my abdomen and despite his attention, I feel a spark of insecurity run through me. I am not Dauntless. I am not athletic or as toned as they are. The thoughts are thrown from my head as his tongue dips into my bellybutton. My stomach clenches, and the growing heat that pools in my belly flares up. He will be the death of me.

He finally releases my hands, and they clench at the sheets under me. He moves further down, his hands stroking my legs. He kisses the top of my thigh, but instead of moving in towards the very juncture that demands his mouth, his fingers,  _ anything _ , he moves his mouth further down my leg. The hand that is not touching my leg, holds the other one in place. His fingers brush the back of my knee, and my leg jumps at the touch.

It isn't enough. My hand reaches down to relieve some of the ache he's creating. His hand grabs mine, holding it tightly.

“Not yet,” he says. He moves back up my body, grabbing my other hand before placing them both under the pillow my head was resting on. “Don't move them,” he orders. “You move and I stop.”

“Don't you dare.”

He raises his eyebrows in challenge before drawing back slowly. He watches me carefully as he goes back in between my legs. He lifts the leg he had been focusing on, touching his lips to the inside of my ankle before setting it on his shoulder.

He kisses up the inside of my leg, his hand touching the other side lightly. He is heightening every sensation until it is almost painful. He stops at my knee, his tongue darting out to touch the underside of it. He stops my leg from jolting at the touch with his hand, but I can feel his smirk against my skin.

My hands jerk from under the pillow and I feel him pause and pull away from my leg. He was serious. I shove my hands back under. “Oh god, please.”

He leans forward, his mouth on the inside of my thigh and getting closer to the very centre of the growing desire. He pulls back before his mouth reaches it, and I am left groaning in the agony of waiting. He hooks his fingers around the underwear I'm wearing though, and pulls it down. He unhooks it from the leg that is still over his shoulder first, before sliding it down the other. He moves the leg on his shoulder back onto the bed. This has to be it. He has to stop teasing. I never expected Eric to take his time, to be a man who goes slow.

He repeats his actions on my other leg, and I have no doubt that he's noted the fact that he hits the sensitive spot on my ankle. It's the same ankle I injured the first time I wore heels. My hands jerk again at the feeling of his mouth on it, causing him to stop. I won't beg, but I move my hands back in place.

His mouth trails fire in it's wake as he continues upward. My body demands release, demands that he do more than just kiss and suck bruises onto my skin.

“Eric,” I breathe.

“Yes,” I hear him reply. He sounds just as breathless, despite the fact that he's the one doing this to me. The sound I make is more of a whine, one that sounds desperately wanting. His hands grab my thighs, moving the one from his shoulder and spreading them wide before him. Any embarrassment I feel is lost in the demands that he do something.

It is agonizingly slow. I feel his nose first, brushing against the lips of my vagina. He inhales deeply, but before I can wonder, his mouth is on me. My whole body arches at the feeling of his mouth on my clitoris. His arms move, going under my thighs and pulling me closer while his hands pin down my hips. There's no hesitation, no pause as he uses his tongue and delves deeper into me.

“Oh god,” I mutter. I cannot move, cannot escape his mouth. He alternates between stroking and sucking on my clitoris, and plunging his tongue into me. My heels dig into his back. It is too much. My entire body is on fire, and he is building it with every touch. I throw my head back against the pillows and my hands reach for him, for any part I can touch. I can feel the pressure building.

He moves fast, grabbing my hands and forcing them into one of his while his other one still holds me down. I am thrown over the edge without warning. My body shudders, finally claiming the release I sought. Eric doesn't move, still holding me tightly while his tongue moves against the suddenly over sensitive folds.

He releases me slowly, and he moves up as achingly slow as his initial decent. His lips and hands feel as if they're everywhere. He finally cups my breasts with his hands, massaging them before twisting my nipples harder than I usually enjoy. My body bucks against him.

He kisses me hard, grabbing the back of my neck as he deepens the kiss. He pulls up one of my thighs with one of his hands before shifting and pushing in slowly. He groans against my mouth and I wince at the stretch. He breaks the kiss and his head falls against my shoulder. He doesn't move for a second, and it feels as if it stops time around us. I move my hips against his, testing the feeling of him in me. His hand on my thigh tightens and he moves his head from my neck. He looks down at me but I can't meet his gaze.

“Look at me,” he says.

I clench my eyes shut, turning my head away. He cannot demand this of me. I don't want that connection. All I wanted was something hard and fast. Something that would make me forget. I rock my hips again, but his hips suddenly press down, pinning me under his weight. The hand on the back of my neck moves to cup my jaw and he forces my head to turn back to him.

“Look at me,” his voice is rougher, more demanding. The pressure on my jaw increases and my eyes fly open, meeting his.

His gaze seems to penetrate me, leaving me feeling barer than I did before. He moves his hips, pulling out before slowly sliding back in. His gaze never leaves mine. There is something in it that I can't describe, something that leaves me terrified and breathless. His pace quickens, his hips slamming into mine. 

“Amelia,” he says, over and over again. My name is on his lips with each thrust. He shifts, pulling me up into his lap as he sits back. Despite the sudden gain in purchase, I am left to his whims. My knees are bent on either side of him, but it is his hand on my waist and neck that control my every move. My eyes flutter shut, as his mouth goes to my neck, attempting to brand me again. I am pulled to lean back and suddenly every thrust hits something that I had only read about.

“Eric!” I cry out, reaching for any part of him that I can touch. My hand weaves into his hair while the other digs it's nails into his shoulder. “Oh god, Eric....”

The hand on my waist moves and shoves itself between us. His fingers press against my clitoris, causing me to buck against him. His pace increases, continuously hitting that spot. With the addition of his fingers, it is not longer before my entire body tightens, my toes curl and I am granted another release. Eric follows with a few more strokes and my name on his lips. I realize, belatedly, that he was drawing it out to match it.

He lifts his head, watching me carefully as I try to catch my breath. The pressure of his hand directs me forward, resting my forehead against his. We stare at each other, our bodies still interlocked. This had not gone as planned.

He kisses me, softer than any of the others before. It sinks into me, settling like lead in my stomach. I move, pulling away from him but his grip tightens, holding me in place.

“Eric,” I say softly. “I'm just going to the washroom.” He releases me slowly and I feel his eyes on me as I leave the room. I focus on the ache of my thigh muscles, and when I am finished, I don't even glance in the mirror. I don't want to see myself. Not like this.

I step back into the room and hesitate. What was I supposed to do now? Climb back into bed? Should I leave and find somewhere else to go?

“Are you coming back to bed?”

My gaze snaps to Eric who is sitting up in the bed. The sheets are pooled at his waist. He looks like a prime specimen of a man. I step forwards automatically and look over him as I move closer. The tattoos on his neck go further, but there is a detailed tattoo on his chest that I can't fully make out in the light. I sit down on the edge of the bed, only to be pulled back into his chest. He lies down, taking me with him. His leg shoves itself between mine and his arm tightens around my waist, holding my back against his chest.

“Go to sleep,” he demands. I am half inclined to argue with him, but the sudden stop of movement and the reclining position highlight my exhaustion. I close my eyes and try to ignore Eric's breath against my hair. I fall asleep almost instantly.

 

* * *

  
I wake slowly, shifting in the sheets around me. I can feel the warmth of a body next to mine, close enough that I can feel his skin against mine. My thighs throb with reminders of past activities and I inhale deeply. I should move. I should get up and find a way back to Erudite. Fingers stroke up and down my spine. I turn my head and look at Eric. His gaze is soft, but I can't feel the alarm that it usually brings. I'm just tired.

“Go back to sleep.” His voice is quiet yet still demanding. My eyes close of their own accord and I can't help but shift towards his warmth. It feels like it surrounds me.

He moves, settling around me and I feel his lips on my shoulder. “You're safe, Amelia,” he says, soft enough that I barely hear him. “You're safe here.” I want to believe him. I want to believe that his strength is enough, but he cannot bear the weight I carry. I turn, angling my body towards his before curling up to him. He places his arm out so that my head can rest on it while he pulls my body into his. My head tucks under his chin and I am encased with the smell of him. I surrender to my exhaustion quickly.

 


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mistake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much! I'm so glad that the last chapter was so well received. I know a lot of you were waiting for the sexual tension to really break between them. I'm really glad you all liked it so much. Thank you all for your comments and kudos. I love hearing from you, so thank you. I hope you enjoy this chapter just as much!

 

**Chapter 23**

 

I wake up alone. The air of the room is freezing, and I am tempted to encase myself further in the sheets that smell like him. Instead, I sit up, ignoring the dull ache of my body and look around.

Eric is gone.

The apartment is silent and sunlight streams in from the windows. I've slept for too long. I throw off the sheets and move to the edge of the bed. The floor feels like ice when I place my feet on it.

I stand slowly, taking note of exactly how my body feels before I move. I have to search to find the underwear he threw, and my glasses, which miraculously survived his throw.

My clothes are thankfully dry and I get dressed quickly. My blouse has dried slightly wrinkled and my skirt is stiff. There is no sign of my hair elastic, leaving me to run my fingers through my hair and hoping it doesn't look too messy. There is no hope to find my heels. They are lost in the paths of Dauntless.

I take a moment, once I'm dressed and look in the mirror in the washroom. My reflection is almost unrecognizable. I am in Erudite clothing, but I look nothing like the woman who came here. My hair is still wild, and despite how long I slept I still look tired. The marks that Eric left on me stand out brightly against my skin. I will need to cover them.

Turning away from my reflection, I leave the washroom and find my tablet. The battery is low, but I check for any messages from Jeanine. A response to my note. Anything to tell me that I will be returned to Erudite shortly. To my relief, there is a brief note, but any relief is lost as I read it. It simply says that I must wait until the roads are clear and as soon as they are, I can expect a driver to come for me.

I am stuck here.

“What are you doing?” 

I nearly drop the tablet in surprise, before looking towards the door at the voice. Eric stands there, holding a tray and staring at me. He does not look impressed.

“My work,” I reply. He storms forwards, dropping the tray of food on a table, before standing before me. I straighten my spine and stare back, ignoring the memory of his touch and his mouth on my skin. “I have to get back to Erudite as soon as possible. In the meantime, I need to charge my tablet and preferably have a space that I can work and sleep in. Alone.” And far away from him.

The tablet is ripped from my hands and I watch in horror as Eric flings it into one of the stone walls. I hear glass break as it falls to the ground. I turn back to Eric, fury filling my veins. “How dare you!”

He moves closer until his body is nearly touching mine. “You're not leaving.”

“Excuse me?” My eyes narrow. “You cannot dictate where I stay!”

He grabs the back of my head, twisting his fingers into my hair and yanking it back as he presses his body against mine. “You're not leaving.” His voice sounds dangerous, and the look in his eye stills me. It's the same one that he had after I accepted Riley's proposal. Fear quells the anger in me, and I struggle to hold on to it.

“Amelia,” he says, lowering his voice enough that it feels like it sinks into me. His grip on my hair loosens enough that my scalp no longer hurts, but he does not let go. “You can't run from this. You can't run from me.” Something strikes at my heart with his words. The hell I can't.

“This was a mistake,” I mutter. It's the wrong thing to say.

Eric's expression changes instantly into something savage. “It's not a fucking mistake!” he snarls before kissing me hard.

I push at his chest, but he is unmovable. His lips move against mine, demanding a response and when I don't open my mouth to his, he bites at my bottom lip hard enough to make me gasp.

His tongue pushes past my lips and his hand in my hair tilts my head just enough to give him more access. Eric's very presence demands a reaction and as he kisses me, I find myself succumbing to it. The hand that is not in my hair goes to my back, pulling my body flush against his.

I move one of my hands to the back of his neck and scrape my nails against his scalp. His grip tightens. He pulls my bottom lip in between his and I can't help but wince at the sting that remains from his bite. He breaks the kiss, moving his lips down my jaw and neck.

My breath hitches as his teeth scrapes against my skin before he sucks hard. It's still sensitive from the night before. I move the hand that's on his chest slowly, feeling the solidness of him beneath my fingers.

He removes his hand from my back, and I feel his fingers tug at the collar of my dress shirt. He shifts his body back and with one swift motion, rips open the shirt, popping the buttons and forcing them to fly across the room.

“Eric!” I snap. Before I can protest further, his mouth is on mine again. His kiss is demanding, forceful even as he pulls my shirt from where it is still stuck in my skirt. I pull back my hands, shrugging the shirt off. It's useless now, but I can't bring myself to care. Not when his hand is going up my side before unclipping my bra at my back. It doesn't fall, but hangs from the straps still on my shoulders. He moves to the zipper on the back of my skirt next.

My skirt is shoved off my hips, and I reach up to balance myself on his shoulders as I step out of it and kick it away. His hands skim over the sudden exposed skin and I can feel goosebumps prickle as he touches it.

Eric moves his mouth from mine, and the hand in my hair tightens and pulls my head back. His other hand slides under the loosened bra and his thumb brushes against one of my nipples.

I inhale sharply and I can't help but arch into his hand. I feel his lips at my ear.

“This is because of me,” he says. His voice is rough and low, as if he's restraining himself. Memory floods through me of the night before and my stomach clenches. “Me.”

He kisses me again before he moves his hand out of my hair and lifts me. My legs wrap instantly around his waist and it feels like seconds before he's dropping me on the bed. He slides my bra off my arms and throws it to the side.

I lean back against the bed as his hands go up my sides. His fingers brush the spot on my ribs that makes me jump, but he doesn't stop on it. His mouth and hand go to my breasts and he lavishes his attention on them.

I arch into him, my hands clutching the back of his head and his shoulders. The hand that's not cupping my breast shoves under my underwear and my hips buck instantly as he pushes a finger past the lips of my vagina.

He groans into my chest and I am lost in the sensation of his hands on my body. His fingers stroke and play with my clitoris and heat flares through me. Oh god. He bites down on my breast, hard enough that it shocks me until he sucks on the very same spot.

I can't help the sounds I make. My anger from earlier is forgotten, as long as he doesn't stop. I could lose myself in him if I wanted, and I do. For this moment, as I'm trapped in Dauntless by forces beyond my control, I can let myself have this.

He moves his mouth down my stomach. I lean my head back into the pillows, trying to catch the breath the escapes me with every move of his fingers below. When he pulls them away, I have to stop the frustrated cry from leaving my lips.

He pulls down my underwear, shifting and throwing them aside. Instead of moving himself in between my legs though, his hands are on my side and he twists me, flipping me onto my stomach. He pulls at my waist, and his hands position me until I am on my hands and knees.

His hand slides up my back and I hear the sound of a zipper. The hand up my back goes around to my front and his hand is below my throat before he pulls my body up and I am pressed against his chest. He is still dressed and the feeling of his clothes against my sensitive skin strikes something in me I didn't realize had never been considered.

He positions himself and pushes into me without hesitation. His arm on my chest holds me to him as he pulls out before thrusting in again. I reach back with one of my hands for his head, and he moves it closer, his lips next to my ear.

“You feel this?” he says. He moves his legs outside of mine and pushes me forward, back towards the mattress.

My hand shoots out to stop myself from falling into it face first, and I feel him move over me. My hand that was on the back of his head moves to the arm holding me in place against him. I clutch at his muscles as he continues to thrust into me.

“This is because of me. _Only me_.” His voice is low in my ear, almost a growl as his pace quickens.

Oh god. I want more. I want him to move faster, to reach that point where I just stop thinking.

He shifts his hips and suddenly it's almost too much. I can't stop myself from crying out intelligible words that almost sound like begging.

“No one else makes you feel like this, Amelia. No one ever will.”

“Please,” I beg. I just need more. His hand on my chest shifts up, around my throat but he doesn't apply the pressure that I expect.

“Tell me what you want,” he demands. “Who you want.”

I know what he wants to hear and I am tempted to refuse. Even if he left me like this, it is a state I can fix myself. I don't need him.

He shifts again, and I can feel the mattress dip on one side as he changes position. His fingers are suddenly on my clitoris, and I arch into it. “ _Say it_.”

I am so close and it's almost painful. I can't help it. “Eric!”

“Yes,” I hear him hiss and I am pushed forward, my arm giving out on me until it is folded at the elbow trying to hold me up. The position, and his increasing pace, nearly consumes me. I am lost in the haze of him and the feelings he brings my body. Finally, I am thrown into oblivion and the warmth that spreads through my abdomen as he shudders behind me tells me that he follows.

It is silent between us as we both come down from the high of endorphins that floods us. He pulls away, finally releasing me and I collapse against the bed.

I try to catch my breath and shift to make myself more comfortable as I try to ignore the aftermath of the event. Eric leaves in the direction of the washroom and I suddenly feel utterly exposed. I pull at the sheet under me, covering myself as much as I can before he returns. It's a small act, but one that makes me feel more secure.

I let him tear down the walls I had been trying to construct between us after last night. I shift, trying to tighten the sheet around me when he walks out of the washroom looking as immaculate as he was when he first walked in with the tray.

He stops at the table, grabs the tray and heads towards me. I sit up quickly and move back, away from his reach. His eyes narrow at the sight but I cannot stop myself. He has a way of manipulating my body into being blinded by his touch. I want to be able to think.

“You need to eat.”

I stare at him for a moment and he places the tray on the bed in the space between us. On it is a cup of water and a plate that holds a small amount of fruit and a large portion of meat and vegetables. Simple foods build strength. It feels like I'm giving into him in some way, but I cannot ignore the needs of my stomach. His eyes are on me as I consider it and it feels as if the air is turning oppressive.

“I need to move,” I say quietly. His entire body stiffens and reasons tumble out of my mouth without thought. “I need to use the washroom, and I refuse to eat in bed.” It's such as simple excuse, but it will get me away from the bed and him.

His posture relaxes and he moves the tray to a stand by his bed before offering a hand to me. I am reluctant to take it. It is the same hand that was wrapped around my throat only minutes ago. I wrap the sheet tighter around me and ignore the darkening look in his eyes. He grabs my hand before I can fully make a choice and lifts me.

My heart feels like it jumps into my throat and his body is against mine as he slowly places me on my feet. His hands stay at my hips, and he stares at me with the look in his eye that makes me want to run. Nothing good can come of it.

“Excuse me,” I mutter. I move out of his hands, heading towards the washroom until the sheet suddenly stops me. I turn sharply.

Eric is standing on the edge of the sheet.

“Get off.”

He raises his eyebrows and reaches to grab part of it.

My grip tightens, but with a single yank it is pulled from my grasp. I am left naked before him. I reach down for it, but it is pulled further from me. “Give it back.”

“You don't need it. Not here.”

I watch as his eye rake over my body, lingering in the areas that I know are marked by him. I inhale slowly, trying to hold back the anger that grows. It is a small thing, I tell myself. I can handle this. I stand up straight, glaring at him before turning and quickly walking to the washroom.

I lock the door quickly and just try to breathe. Despite the previous activities, my body is tense. I look around the washroom, hoping for something that I can use to cover myself. A small folded pile of black catches my eye. The clothes he lent me the night before. I had collected them that morning, and folded them after I dressed myself. Eric either didn't notice or care about it when he was in here.

I unfold the shirt that I had previously worn and slip it on. It still falls to my thighs. The pants are useless, considering they never stayed up, and Eric has seen more of me than anyone in a long time. Still, they will be useful until I get my underwear back from the floor. I clean myself up and put them on, attempting and failing to find a way to make them stay up. They will have to be held.

It feels like forever before I can convince myself to leave the washroom. There is no safety here, and I have to face the choices I made when I welcomed him into my arms.

* * *

 

  
I leave the washroom slowly.

Eric is nowhere in sight and I sigh in relief. I do not want to deal with him and the pressure he places on me. The tray is on the table and my stomach grumbles at the sight. I ignore it and go in search for my clothes.

The search is fruitless and it becomes apparent to me that Eric's disappearance is related. He has taken my clothes.

Part of me cannot believe he has the audacity to do such a thing, but this is Eric. He has never done anything that I expect him to. I try to keep calm. Unless I want to go wandering through Dauntless wearing only his clothes and no underwear, I am trapped here.

I look for my tablet. The shattered remains of it lay on the floor against the wall, a sharp reminder that I am sufficiently cut off from my faction. As I think about it, the anger fades and I am simply left exhausted. I had wanted an escape, something to stop me from thinking of Vera in Jeanine's hands and I have been presented with my desires. I just didn't want it like this.

I eat quickly, watching for any sign of Eric but he does not appear. I am oddly thankful and yet regretful. I want my clothes back. I want to be far away from him and the distraction he serves, and yet I am not used to being alone without my work. Boredom eats away at me.

I glance over the bookshelves that are mostly filled with texts and manuals of training and warfare. I am surprised by the small amount of psychology books that are present, but I have no desire at this time to delve into Eric's mind. In fact, despite the amount of rest I've gotten already, which is far more than I am used to, I just want to sleep.

I stare at the bed for a moment. I have had sex in that bed twice already with it's owner, and the memory lingers in my mind. My hands shoved under the pillow as his fingers traced patterns and his mouth left marks on my skin. I force the thought out of my mind. He took nothing I wasn't willing to give. Even so, I am reluctant to climb back into it. It is only the absence of Eric and the lack of another piece of furniture large enough to comfortably sleep on that prompts me into it.

I climb in and wrap the sheets around me, settling in. The pants are still far too loose and uncomfortable even as I lay in bed. Annoyed, I slip them off and place them on the floor next to the bed. I woke up before Eric returned before; I can do so again. As I lay in the silent apartment, I am surrounded by the scent of Eric. It is disturbingly comforting as I fall asleep.

 

_[tbc]_


	24. Chapter Twenty-Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amelia wakes up with company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for all of your comments and kudos. I cannot believe how far this story has come and all of you who are sharing it with me. Thank you. Also, I'm sorry for the delay of this chapter. It's been a very stressful couple of months and it took me awhile to be able to even get time to write, let alone the motivation for it. Seeing all of your comments helped prompt me into action. Without further ado, here's the next chapter. Hope you like it!

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

 

I wake up slowly to warmth and someone stroking my hair. I am laying on my stomach and there is a weight on one of my legs. As I slowly become more aware, I shift my body, looking for the source. Eric is sitting on the bed next to me, shirtless and reading a book. His lower half is under the sheets, his bare leg hooked over one of mine. He is touching my hair softly, and as I turn to look at him, he looks away from his book. I push up into my elbows.

“Where are my clothes?”

“You don't need them.”

“Eric,” I snap, “you can't just steal my clothes to keep me here.”

He raises his eyebrows at me, daring me to push further. “You're not leaving this apartment until the roads clear.”

I stop myself from retorting sharply, clenching my jaw shut. I need to find another option. I cannot stay and give more of myself to him than I already have. I did not mean for it to happen, not like this.

“Has it stopped snowing?” I ask. The look Eric gives me tells me he's not impressed with my question. “I only ask because you've destroyed my only method of communication, and all subsequent work that was on there. You will replace it.” I turn and push myself to sit up. I clutch the sheet to my breast, ignoring his stare on me. It’s such a little thing that gives comfort.

“How do you expect that?” He asks. “Dauntless don't create the technology.”

“You have your ways,” I snap. “Figure it out.”

Eric moves slowly, placing his book on the stand next to the bed before he turns to me. I cannot decipher the look in his eyes and it is my only warning before his hand shoots out and grabs my hair, pulling my face closer to his.

I wince, automatically shifting closer to lessen the pull on my scalp.

“And here I thought you were against my methods,” he says softly. There's a twist to his lips, as if he's amused at me.

I try not to show any reaction. “I am when they present issues for me. You have destroyed my property. I expect compensation.”

His lips expand into a small grin, one that leaves me unsettled. “I'll give you compensation.” He moves forward, covering my lips with his. The hand in my hair prevents me from pulling away, and as his tongue begs entrance, I find myself granting it.

He pulls back, moving his mouth to the side of mine before going further down, teeth scraping against my jaw before his lips settle at my neck. He shifts slightly, pulling the sheet that had become trapped between us, away. It is another barrier that he breaks.

“That's not what I meant,” I say softly. It is hard to think as his hand that is not in my hair moves and settles on my thigh, pushing under the hem of the shirt I wore.

“I know what you meant,” he says. He shifts, moving his hand from my hair and angling his body over mine, forcing me to lie back. “This is better.” He returns his attention to my neck, as if attempting to brand me with his lips. His hand moves up my side, trailing heat initswake.

I use one of my hands and touch his shoulder and his back, feeling the muscles tense under my fingers. My other hand touches his side. The ridges of his abdominal muscles feel like steel under his skin. I shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't be touching him, not like this. It wasn't supposed to be soft and slow, like we were half asleep early in the morning and eager to touch each other. This was wrong.

“Eric,” I call out. I am not surprised that he ignores me. His hand reaches my breast, barely touching it before pinching the nipple hard. I can't help my yelp and I feel him grin against my neck.

“You're thinking too much.”

“One of us has to!” I snap. Despite his fingers skimming over my nipple softly, it still hurt. “This is illogical. Whatever this is, it cannot go further than this.”

He pulls back finally, propping himself up on his elbows above me and staring down. He doesn't look pleased. There is something in his eyes that warns me about my words. Nonetheless, I continue.

“We're different factions,” I say. I don't tell him that it shouldn't have happened in the first place. That it was wrong. “It can't continue after I leave.”

He smirks at my words, looking more amused than I expect. The last time I said something like this, he got angry. Finally, he speaks. “Then just fucking enjoy it.”

He kisses me hard and I am left with a choice. I can submit to him willingly, let myself enjoy this moment of freedom away from the demands of my position and the fear of my biology, or I can refuse and fight him until I am coerced into it, as I was last time. I cannot deny that I welcome the release he gives. I will return to Erudite soon and with that back to the reality of Jeanine and her machinations. I think of Vera...and reach for Eric.

I break the kiss and move my mouth to his jaw. He tilts his head slightly, granting me access. I kiss and nibble against the scruff of the growing facial hair before moving my lips to his neck. His tattoos are striking against his skin and remembering the last time I tasted them, I bite down harder than before. His hips jerk into mine. He's half hard and not wearing any underwear. Somehow, I'm not surprised.

“You play dangerous,” he says, mouth against my ear. His hand slides back up my thigh.

“Turnabout is fair play,” I reply, thinking of the sharp pinch he had given earlier.

He pulls away, breaking the contact of my mouth on his skin and grins at me. I am struck by how young he seems in that moment, how innocent. He doesn't look like a man who once threatened my life, nearly throwing me into an abyss, nor one who willingly surrendered a boy to be tortured.

The look in his eye darkens as I stare up at him, shifting into something I don't want to acknowledge. I pull him back down, kissing him of my own accord and closing my eyes. I don't have to see it. I don't have to watch him.

His hand moves, cupping my jaw and keeping my lips against his as he deepens the kiss. The other one moves lower, sliding up my thigh until he reaches my underwear. His fingers press against it, hard enough that I can feel them clearly. He swallows my gasp. “So fucking wet already,” he murmurs.

I expect him to make me beg, or to push the edge of my underwear aside and push his fingers in further. It doesn't happen though. He pulls his hand back and away from me, a loss of heat that I miss instantly. He shoves the blanket that covers us off and I am certain that it is half on the floor. He moves his hand that was on my jaw to my back and pulls me up with him as he moves and sits back on his heels. He pulls my shirt up and I raise my arms without question to let him pull it off me. I lie back as he throws it across the room. The only covering left on me, shielding me from him is my underwear. He slides them down my legs, watching me the entire time. His fingers leave trails of heat in their wake.

I lean my head back and close my eye, content to concentrate only on the physical sensations he causes. I feel him press against me, his hardened penis lower than I expect until I feel his mouth enclose around one of my nipples. My body arches against him.

Instead of one of his hands touching my other breast, which feels achingly empty, his fingers are back at the apex of my thighs. He uses one of his knees to push my legs open wider, settling himself between them rather than straddling one of my legs. His fingers brush along the lips of my vagina slowly. He changes between getting closer to my clitoris to stroking my thigh. It is torturous.

I will not play this game. I drag my fingers over his scalp, scratching just enough to get a reaction. I can't reach his erection. My fingers dig into his back.

“Eric,” my voice is almost breathless, but I can still maintain a steely tone. “Stop teasing.”

“Fair play,” he says, repeating my words back to him. He moves his mouth to my other nipple.

I lean back, frustrated. I move the hand that is on his back, trying to wedge it between us so that I could reach my clitoris myself.

He grabs my hand with his free one and pins it to the side. He bites down on my breast, hard.

“OW!” I grab what hair of his I can and yank his head back. He stares up at me, as if daring me to go further. I am surprised he's let me get this far. “Stop that,” I demand. I'm going to bruise.

The grip on my hand tightens. “Do _not_ get between what I want,” he says slowly, his voice low and dangerous sounding. My heart feels as if it's stopped. This was the Eric I knew.  The one that I wanted.

“Then do something,” I force myself to say. I can barely get the words out.

He smirks at me before his mouth returns to my skin. He moves from my breast, up to my collarbone. His fingers finally touch my clitoris, pressing against it and circling.

My fear fades with every touch until I am arching against him. He kisses my neck slowly. I doubt there is any skin on it that he hasn't marked. “Eric,” I breathe. “Please.”

“What do you want, Amelia?” he says. His mouth is against my ear. “Tell me what you want.”

“You know – ” my voice cuts off by a moan of frustration. His fingers were so close. I needed them in me. He slides them down, along the entrance before he pulls them back.

“Tell me,” his voice is low. “Use your fucking words. I want to hear it.” He moves and the fingers that were playing and teasing me so efficiently, putting them in his mouth.

I watch as he licks them and his eyes meet mine. I can feel his erection pressing against me, exactly where I want it. The heat between us was palpable. “Please,” I beg.

“Please what?” he asks. He is getting too much enjoyment would of this and I clench my jaw tight. “I'm not letting you go,” he says quietly. “I will keep teasing you and bringing you closer to climax and never let you reach it unless you say it.” The look in his eyes tells me he's not lying. I have no doubt he really would. “What do you want, Amelia?”

I know what he wants to hear, but saying it feels as if I am giving him too much. I have already lost enough of myself to him. The ache between my thighs, the climax that I know awaits me breaks my resolve.  
“Please, Eric,” I watch him carefully and use words I know he will understand. “I want you to fuck me.”

He kisses me hard enough that our teeth hit. We both pull back slightly, but don't break the contact. His hand moves to my hip, stroking it softly before guiding my leg to wrap around his waist. He angles himself as I pull him closer with my leg, and in a swift thrust, he pushes into me.

My body arches into his at the intrusion. The stretch of my muscles to accommodate him is painful but welcoming. The last two days of activity has been more than my body has seen in a long time. I move my arms around his back, one going to the back of his neck and keeping his lips against mine. The other hand I use to dig my nails into his back. I will not be the only one to leave with scars.

He moves, pulling out of me slowly before thrusting back in hard.

“Oh god.” My body is already heightened from the foreplay and each move just brings me closer to an edge I will gladly jump from. I break the kiss. My mouth goes over his jaw, scraping my teeth against it. I bite at his neck when I get there and I hear him chuckle above me.

“Amelia,” he sounds nearly as breathless as I feel. His hips hit mine with a particularly hard blow.

“Harder,” I demand. It's not enough.

His hand shoves between my back and the bed and he moves, pulling me with him. It takes me a moment to recollect myself. He is lying on his back as I now straddle him. It seems almost strange to be in this position.

He jerks his hips up, his hands on my waist keep me in place.

I move slowly, adjusting myself to get more comfortable before I start rocking against him. My hands go to his chest, pressing against the solid muscle for leverage. I pinch one of his nipples as I find my rhythm. His mouth encases one of my breasts as I lean over him and I focus on the feeling of him.

His hands help me keep the pace I set though when one of them touches my clitoris, it is almost too much. I cannot seem to move fast enough or hard enough.

“Doing so fuck – ” his breath catches for a moment. “Fuck, Amelia!”

I ignore him. I am so close that when I shift slightly, it feels as if he hits something deeper. “Eric,” I cry out. “Please, please, please...” I beg.

His hands seem as if they're everywhere and his mouth licks my collarbone before he pulls me down to kiss him.

It's too much and I feel myself clench around him as I finally reach my mark. I lean back, away from him. His hands move back to my hips, keeping me steady as he thrusts up. My name is on his lips when he finally climaxes. His body jerks against mine before finally slowing.

The exhaustion hits me suddenly, and I feel as if I could collapse against him. I should be moving. I pull away, feeling the loss of him instantly and attempt to ignore the feel of the fluids from our activity. I go to leave and clean myself up. Instead he pulls me closer against him. His grip is tight, informing me that there is no current escape. I sigh and rest my head on his chest, my head tucked under his chin.

His hands strokes up and down my back slowly and I can hear his heartbeat in his chest. I stare at the fine hair on his chest, the muscles that belong in Dauntless as I belong in Erudite. I should not be doing this. I should be better than the baser urges that my body and evolution demand of me.

“Stop that.”

I don't look up at Eric. His voice vibrates though his chest. “Stop what?” I ask.

“Thinking.”

“You do realize that that is physically impossible. A person cannot just stop thinking unless they are critically injured and have no brain activity or they are dead.” I push back to look up at him. He raises his eyebrows at me. “I am clearly neither.”

A smirk grows slowly on his lips. “I can feel that.”

I feel his muscles move under me as he prepares to move. A knock sounds at the door suddenly, causing me to jump and glance at the door. I look back at Eric to see any expression on his face has shut down.

He moves me off of him, sliding me to the side and throwing the blanket that had been tossed away earlier over me. I sit up and watch as he shoves on a pair of sweatpants and storms to the door.

He opens it quickly, snapping a “what?” to the person on the other side. He keeps the door closed enough that I cannot see who it is.

I cannot hear what they say but I can see Eric's body tense.

“Fine,” he snaps before slamming the door on whoever was on the other side. He walks back to the bed and stares down at me. He is angry but I can see his gaze soften slightly. It is an alarming look, holding a series of possibilities that I do not want to explore. “Get ready,” he says slowly. “Your ride is here.” He turns and storms out of the apartment and I am left staring after him.

My ride? The realization strikes me and I scramble out of the bed as fast as I can. Finally. I can go back to my faction and job. Back to normality. I make my way to the washroom and shower as quick as I can.  
  


* * *

  
I am back in my clothes, the very same I arrived in. The buttons had been replaced somehow and Eric had miraculously recovered the shoes I lost. I never expected their return.

Despite his actions the past couple of days, Eric doesn't say a word as he leads me through Dauntless. I can't help but be relieved. We both know that it cannot go further than this. My mind is wrapped up in the events of the past few days that I do not even consider the fear of the height of the path.

As we reach the very same door I had run into a snowstorm from, he stops.

“Your ride back to Erudite awaits you.” He turns, watching me carefully.

I nod. “Thank you,” I say, though for what I am not sure. Perhaps the opportunity to pause, and not think about what was occurring in Erudite to an ex-Amity and my participation in it.

He smirks at me; his eyes roam down my body. “Thank _you_ ,” he repeats far more salaciously than I.

I stop myself from rolling my eyes at him. “Goodbye Eric.” I turn to leave and exit the door but his hand grabs my wrist and he pulls me back. His hand goes to the back of my neck and he kisses me.

I kiss him back until I finally press my hands against his chest and attempt to push him away. “I have to go now.”

He lets me step away from him and when I finally open the door, there is an Erudite man awaiting me. The snow has melted slightly and a path has been cleared to the truck I can see awaiting me.  
“Ms. Elswood!” The Erudite man exclaims. He smiles at me but I can see the wary look in his eyes as he glances behind me. I have no doubt that Eric is glaring at him. “Let's get you home.” He offers his hand to help me down the path.

“Please,” I say graciously accepting the assistance. As I walk away from Dauntless and get into the truck, I don't look back. I have larger concerns awaiting me.

 

 

**[tbc]**

 


	25. Chapter Twenty-Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Return to Erudite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, long enough wait? ;P Thank you all for your patience so far. I want you to know that while I was struggling to gain the ability to get back at this, reading your comments have helped. I have to say though that sometimes life happens, but this won't be abandoned. Thank you. That being said, I made some small changes to the previous chapter, mostly grammar and a couple little additions. I hope you like this chapter! Enjoy!

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

 

The driver takes me home first. I can feel the man's eyes on me, despite the attention he should be paying to the treacherous road. My heart hammers in my chest. It is likely to spark the rumours if he speaks of it. I could demand his silence on the matter, but that would fuel the suspicion of the events and my role in them. It is better to not say anything and hope he does the same.

He remains silent on the drive, despite the obvious curiosity at my state. I am grateful once again for the fear and awe my position provides, and yet, I cannot help but wonder that if it was not for my role in Erudite, I would never have met Eric. However, I would also be more susceptible to Jeanine's obsession on Divergents. It seems that regardless of my position, I would not be in a state to win the peace that I desire.

I tell the driver to wait for me before I enter my building. It takes only a few minutes for me to change into something far more clean and acceptable. I tie my hair back into a bun, pinning down the wayward strands before staring at myself in the mirror. My neck is marked with bruises from Eric's mouth. I stare at them for a moment, remembering the way he held me, demanding my submission and acceptance of him. And I had given it to him, but at what cost? I shake the thought from my head. I had left it all behind in Dauntless. There was no place for those memories in my life now.

I pick up the concealer and get to work.  


* * *

  
I reach the Erudite building with the driver at my side. He leaves me at the door to the building and I move quickly to the nearest technological station. I should be going instantly to see Jeanine, but the necessity of a tablet takes precedence.

It feels as if all eyes are on me. Despite knowing that I was successful in covering up the evidence of the days I spent in Dauntless, I feel as if my actions somehow show. I take a deep breath, ignoring the way my skin crawls.

“Ms. Elswood!” The man at the desk seems surprised to see me. “What an honour! How can I help you?” I had forgotten how enthusiastic those of my faction were at my presence. Desperate for approval I had no authority to give. I can practically hear Eric's voice, taunting me and calling me _Jeanine's pet_.

“I require a tablet,” I say. He stares at me, as if confused by something and panic flares in my chest. What does he know? Do the marks show? It is impossible. I was meticulous in my application. He smiles suddenly and I can breathe again.

“Of course! We have some in storage. Give me a moment and I will procure it for you.”

I nod and watch as he gets up and goes into a room behind his desk. The atmosphere of Erudite is familiar and calming as I hear people walk through the halls behind me. There is a low murmur of voices and I catch words of experiments, trial phases and something shifts in my chest. I feel myself relax. I am back where I belong.

The man comes back with a tablet, talking about upgrades and a faster system than the last. I thank him quickly and leave, heading for Jeanine. I am more likely to find her in her lab than in her office.

The walk to her lab is quick, and I spend the time in the elevator looking over the tablet that I have to reconfigure to my specifications and accounts instead of focusing on the increasing anxiety that I feel. Thankfully, Erudite's systems are well organized and interconnected. Despite the loss of my tablet, it does not take long for all of my data to be transferred to the new one.

I feel a flash of fear as I am scanned by the security features barring the way to the lab. It is a ridiculous notion, but I cannot help but wonder if my recent activities would somehow change the results. It does not and I enter the lab with a tablet that now acts exactly as my previous one. The room is filled with noise, both from Jeanine's voice and the machines I can hear running. I look up to find her in front of a set of screens. As I stop next to her, she doesn't look at me, but speaks.

“What do you see?”

I look up at the screens. There are scans of a brain displayed, as well as various different vital signs spanned over a set of time. It looks to be the results of tests. I focus on the brain and try to find what she wants me to look for. It is utterly familiar, and yet not.

“The hippocampus is large enough to suggest that it is the brain of an Erudite, however there's a difference in the area of the cerebral cortex. Something is larger than usual, displacing the rest of the brain.” I look over at her to see almost approval in her eyes. I hide the relief I feel. “I assume that this is a sign of divergence. The area that is also enlarged is the area responsible for the traits of another faction.”  
She nods. “What you see is the increased size of right supra-marginal gyrus. It's responsible for the presence of empathy in individuals and is often seen in those from Amity.”

“Then this is the brain of Vera, the Amity transfer.” I wonder what they've done so far with her. If the snowstorm barricaded the roads, it is likely that the power would be conserved. Perhaps they only managed the scans while I was detained.

“Very good.” Jeanine turns away from the monitors and walks further into her lab towards one of the doors. I follow. “We proceeded with the tests in your absence. As you can see, they have been gruelling on the subject but we have maintained her health despite her heart failing on us several times during the procedures.” Her tone is conversational, so much so that it sounds as if she is discussing her schedule. There is a part of me that wants to believe that despite her claims, they could not do much to the girl.

Jeanine opens the door and ushers me in. My heart stops. _I am wrong._ Even the events of a storm did nothing to halt Jeanine and her desires. Strapped to the bed in the centre of the room is Vera. Small tubes and wires are attached to her body providing nutrients and monitoring her status.

It was worse that I had ever imagined.

I have to focus on my breathing, to calm myself. My throat feels as if it's closing. I did this. I brought her to this point and while I wasted time in Dauntless, desperate to forget myself, Vera was being hollowed out, a shell of the vibrant transfer I knew.

“We have learned much from the subject,” Jeanine says. “But this does not mean we have all the information we need. I want more monitoring on the factions and to continue the tests of the younger members. Understood?”  
“Yes, ma'am,” I answered automatically. I could not stop staring at Vera.  
“In order to fully understand and create a methodology on how we can stop this anomaly, we need a diverse pool of subjects. The next testing phase is fast approaching and I want our systems to be prepared. Send word to the top engineers and technicians. I want to meet with them and strategize a new system that will allow us to further delve into the mind.”

I make a note on the tablet in my hand and pause. My father is one of the top engineers of Erudite. I am not sure if I can shelter him from this. I have to try. I have to...I stop my thoughts from going in the direction that my fear is prodding them towards. I am stronger than this.

Her voice pulls me back to attention. “Notify me at once when the meeting is set. Continue monitoring the results from the testing of the factions. Inform Max and Eric of our intentions. You are to ensure that all relevant information is to be brought to me and to take care of anything that does not need my immediate attention.” she glances at me. “We need to expand. I want a small group of elite people to work on this project. I expect you to bring me your suggestions by tomorrow.”

“Yes, ma'am.” Every moment she adds more responsibility and it is beginning to feel as if I am drowning. I cannot seem to breathe. For a second I wish I was back at Dauntless, where my only concern was how to deal with Eric. I am not though, and I cannot tear my eyes away from Vera. I do not know how much longer she can take this. This is not my fault. She should have run at my warning.

Jeanine turns to me suddenly. “Your time at Dauntless, I trust that it was fruitful?”  
It takes all of my control not to react to the question. She does not mean it in the manner my mind creates. My heart thuds against my chest under the sudden scrutiny. “Yes,” I answer. “It provided...insight, though the compound leaves much to desire. I am relieved to be home.”

She watches me for a moment before she nods. “Indeed. We proceed with further testing in the morning. You're dismissed.”

I nod and walk out of the room. I do not turn back to look at Vera. Instead, I focus on my breathing, maintaining my calm as I reach my desk. My hands cannot be shaking, despite the tremor I see in my tablet. I refuse to let my emotions get the better of me. I am Erudite. I can do this.  


* * *

My apartment is silent when I arrive. It is thankfully empty of any other presence and I am left in peace for the first time in days. I eat quickly before slowly starting to gather names of those I feel would be suitable for Jeanine. As I finalize the list, I cannot help but think about Eric. It was only last night that I was in his bed. I pause. What am I doing?

As I further plan for the destruction of others, more to send in Vera's place, I am daydreaming about past events. Events that cannot occur again. I had left myself forget both my responsibility and my fear when in his arms.

I abandoned my sense, demanded that I forget, and while I was doing so, I left Vera with Jeanine. I left her. My chest tightens, a lump rises in my throat and I cannot breathe.

I try to console myself. I have done what I needed to do, but it is still not enough. Not when my father is threatened to become involved. My family must be kept safe and if sacrifices have to be made––my thought stops. I sound like Jeanine. Oh god.

My stomach rolls and I push myself off of the chair, racing to the small washroom of my apartment. I fall to my knees and heave into the toilet.

_What have I done?_ Tears stream down my face and the image of Vera will not leave my mind. I remember her crying, begging for help. I heave again.

There is a rhythm that appears naturally when one feels as if they cannot breathe and yet need to expel the contents of their stomach. It leaves me pained.

As my stomach finally settles, I struggle to my feet and face my reflection in the mirror. The woman staring back at me is paler than normal. Her eyes are haunted. It does not look like me. Instead, another woman has taken my place. One that is capable of the atrocities that ensure my survival.

My entire body aches and yet it feels as if it is not enough. It never will, not for what I've done. For what I know I will do.

 

_**[tbc]**_  


	26. Chapter Twenty-Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you all so much for your patience. I know it’s been awhile. If you follow my tumblr (asirensrage), you know what’s been happening but if you don’t then let me explain. It’s mostly been school, but in December my grandmother got sick and passed away. After that it was holidays, then I got sick and I managed to successfully kill my computer. Luckily I had enough saved that I could buy another one. As it goes, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. I know it may not be as exciting as others but it’s setting some things up. Thanks again!

 

**Chapter Twenty-Six**

 

It has never been more difficult to return to Erudite. I cannot remove the image of Vera, tied on to that table, from my head. It sticks with me as I walk through the halls towards the elevator that will deliver me back to Jeanine.

“Amelia!” 

The voice calling my name is overly familiar. I don't have the time or energy to deal with him. I pick up my pace, hoping that I can make it to the elevator before he can reach me. My shorter stature and heels betray me and Riley catches up to me first. 

“I called your name,” he says, straightening his suit as he stands next to me. 

“And I ignored you.”  

“You could at least do me the courtesy of speaking with me,” he snaps. 

“The last time we spoke,” I say slowly, “you refused to listen to me. You left bruises on my arm. We have no reason to speak again.” The elevator doors open and I step in, hoping he won’t follow. I am not that lucky. 

“You are being unreasonable,” he says as if trying to pacify me. 

The doors close, locking me in with him. I press the button to my floor, hoping that he does not intent to follow me to my desk. 

“Amelia, listen to me. I may have gotten…emotional when we last spoke and I apologize for that but you must see the logic in our pairing. We are the best that Erudite has to offer.” He pushed his glasses back up to rest of the bridge of his nose. “There is no one else in Erudite who is as compatible to you as I am.” 

He still was not listening. I tried to take a deep breath to calm myself. Why couldn’t he just understand that I wasn’t interested? That I didn’t want to be his wife? I couldn’t deal with this. Not now. I felt his hand touch my arm, curiously close to the same spot he had bruised upon our last meeting. 

“Let me arrange the meeting with the sociologists. They’ll confirm what we both know: that we are well suited for each other. I can give you more time, but you have to understand that I need something in return. I need the guarantee of our relationship.”

I hit the button for the next floor that the elevator could stop at. “For an Erudite you are incredibly stupid,” I snap. “I said no. There is no relationship between us. Understood? And if you harass me again about this I will see you thrown out and Factionless. It’s over.” The elevators doors open and I hold them there until he steps out onto the floor. “Goodbye Riley.”

His eyes darken as he scowls at me. “You are going to regret this, Amelia,” he says as the doors close, finally separating us. 

“Add it to the list,” I mutter to myself. The elevator is silent in response.   
  


* * *

 

Jeanine is in the middle of a conversation with Gregory when I enter the lab. She turns towards me expectantly, giving a response to Gregory before motioning him to leave.   
“The agenda for today,” she demands. 

I look down at the list on my tablet, steadfastly ignoring the sound of muffled crying. “You are scheduled to give a speech in half an hour in the main auditorium. Afterwards, there is a meeting with the council at Candor. You have the afternoon booked here in the lab and I have sent you the list of candidates for you to approve to be brought to the project. You have a meeting tomorrow morning with the currently top ranked engineers and technicians.” One of whom is my father. I could not keep him off the list without raising suspicion. 

Jeanine stares at me for a moment and it feels as if her eyes are boring into me, expecting me to expose some flaw. “Excellent. I expect you to remain at Candor after the meeting to arrange the next series of tests for them. I want a diverse sample, understood?”

“Yes, ma’am,” I said. I had forgotten for a moment that I would be required to attend the meeting. I had planned to make those arrangements by phone, but I was not going to counter anything that would keep me away from the further tests that she would apply to Vera. I didn’t want to see it. 

“I’ve arranged for your replacement. She will remain in the office for the time being until we are satisfied that she is to be trusted into the labs. You are to train her in the afternoons when you are not needed with me.” 

It feels as if my system shuts down. I stare at her in shock before I remember that we had spoken about this before. She trusts me, and as I am given more work to assist her, someone else will be given the menial tasks of setting meetings and arranging her schedule while monitoring her office.  “Of course,” I say quickly. 

She tilts her head down slightly, looking at me over her glasses. It is a look that informs me she is well aware that I have forgotten. “Your duties will increase, as we have discussed.”

I nod. “If I may ask, who have you chosen?” 

“Catherine Bryant.” 

Catherine. She chose Catherine. Somehow, I am not surprised. Catherine has been adamant about the position long before I received it. She would take it as an achievement, a step towards overthrowing my position and Jeanine would not see her as any threat to her work. Training her will be arduous. I simply nod and look at my tablet for the time. “I will arrange a meeting with her this afternoon to schedule training. I’m afraid though, that we must leave now to reach the auditorium on time.” 

Jeanine nods and strides for the elevator without a word to Gregory. I follow quickly, trying to ignore the lingering thought of what will become of me when I am no longer constantly at Jeanine’s side. If she no longer needs me? I cannot let fear overwhelm me. I will just have to be careful and face whatever comes.   
  


* * *

 

Candor unnerves me. 

The meeting passes without incident. The leaders from the factions are there but I am for once lucky with Eric’s absence. I remain silent through the meeting, taking notes as needed, but Anna, one of the other Dauntless leaders who accompanied Max, continuously stares at me when she can. It is as I am a puzzle she is trying to solve. She is not the only one. I am well aware of Jeanine’s eyes on me when the Dauntless entered the room. She seemed to be expecting a reaction, but with Eric gone there is only relief.

As I wait for Jeanine to finish her conversation with Jack Kang, Anna is in the process of following Max out. She looks for a second like she wants to stop and speak to me. Instead she gives me a small smile that does not reach her eyes and walks out. I wonder what it was but if it is important, she has the ability to contact me. Perhaps Eric had finally tired of me now that he had gotten his…stress relief and she had wanted to pass on the message. Somehow, I doubted it. Eric would be more likely to deliver that news face to face. If only to see if the reaction was something he could use. 

“Amelia,” Jeanine calls, pulling me from my thoughts. “Jack will lead you to one of his associates who will assist you in the process of testing.”

“Yes, ma’am,” I nod before looking at the leader of Candor. I remind myself to breathe and remain calm. “I look forward to working with you.” He looks amused but nods. 

“When you’re ready,” he prompts. 

I look towards Jeanine. “I expect you at Erudite when you are finished. Your training with Catherine begins upon your return.”

“Yes, ma’am.” I am suddenly even more reluctant to go back to Erudite but I would rather deal with Catherine than stay in Candor longer than I have to. 

“Jack,” Jeanine nods to him before turning and walking out alone. I am left with the leader of a faction whose entire identity is based on their ability to tell truth from lies. 

I turn to Jack and nod. 

“Follow me,” he says and leads me out of the room. As we walk down the corridors, the people who greet us nod to Jack but look at me curiously. It is no different from my experience in Dauntless, however I am certain that Jack will not harm me. At the very least he will not pretend to throw me off a cliff. “You are not fond of Catherine?”

I look at him sharply. 

“Forgive me,” he says. “I noticed it when Jeanine mentioned it.” I tried to think of whether or not I had let any expression show on my face. “I wouldn’t worry. Jeanine did not see it.” 

“Interesting,” I say carefully. This is precisely the reason I avoid Candor and those that belong here. They can see emotions through even the smallest expressions. For some reason, he does not continue to pry. As relieved as I am, I cannot help but wonder why. Was the question merely meant to prove their ability to me? To make me uneasy? Or are Candor incapable of small talk? At least any that does not involve invasive questioning on what they observe in others.  

He smiles before stopping at a door. He knocks twice before entering, motioning for me to follow. There is a sole desk in the room and behind it is a small woman who grins widely at us.

“Jack! I would say it is good to see you but you just interrupted my thought process about how to improve the initiation process. How are you?” She stands up and makes her way towards us.

“As well as can be expected after another council meeting. I have come to introduce you to Amelia, the representative from Erudite that I told you about before.” Jack motioned to me and I nodded towards the woman.

“Great! I was hoping that this was happening sooner than later. Initiation will be upon us sooner than you think. I’m Alethea,” the woman said, sticking her hand out towards me. “Call me Allie though. Alethea can be a little troublesome for some people. They have a hard time pronouncing it but no one ever wants to admit that.” 

I shake her hand and smile. She is more than a little overwhelming. The speed at which she talks reminds me of Brighton when he is excited. “Pleasure to meet you,” I say.

She laughs. “We both know that’s not true, but don’t worry about it.”

“Alethea is one of the instructors in lie detection. She specializes in micro expressions,” Jack explains. Of course she is. 

“Don’t worry,” she says lightly. “I can control myself.” It does not seem possible. Candor are well known to always speak the truth, regardless of what harm it may do. For someone who speaks at the speed that Brighton does, with knowledge and mores of the faction? It was highly unlikely that she would not slip up and reveal what she sees. It is far too alarming, but I cannot panic. I must remain calm.

“I’ll leave you to it,” Jack says. “Amelia, if you need anything, please let me know. Also, when you have composed the list of volunteers, I would appreciate you informing me before they are scheduled for testing. I will be sending an escort with them.”

“What he means,” Alethea says, “is a body guard. You can leave now Jack, I’ll take it from here.” He nods and leaves the room. Alethea stares at me for a moment before motioning for me to sit in the chair across from her desk. As I do, she sits down across from me, clicking something on her computer before she turns away from it and looks at me.

“So,” she says. Her tone has changed slightly, less of the happy, easy-going tone she had when we first met. “Why don’t we start with you telling me exacting what you’re looking for in this testing?”

 “What do you mean?” I ask. My voice is steady, but the way she stares makes me nervous. I cannot give anything away. 

“We both know that there’s more to it than looking for effects of a gas leak, don’t we?” She pauses for a moment before smiling. “There it is,” she points towards me. “So what’s going on?” 

To use one of Eric’s expressions, _fuck_.

  
_[tbc]_


	27. Chapter Twenty-Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lies are told and decisions are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry that I left you all on that cliffhanger for so long! For those of you who don’t follow my tumblr (asirensrage), I’ll let you know that I am planning to be more efficient on my updates and writing like I have been previously. I have officially graduated university and while I hunt for a job in my field, I have time to write. Thank you all for being so patient and giving me encouragement to keep this up. I adore all of you! For now, enjoy!

**Chapter Twenty-Seven**

I have to think quickly without giving anything away. I know nothing of micro-expressions, but there is too much at stake. If she does not believe me, if Jeanine is questioned about the truth of what we are looking for, it is not just me that is in danger. Even without knowing the truth about me, Jeanine could use my family as punishment. She could use me as punishment, and in turn discover that I am a candidate for her experiments.

I take a deep breath, ignoring the pounding of my heart and nod. I can do this. There are enough people in power that would assist me in repairing any damage that I might cause. At least, I can only hope that there are. I can almost picture Eric telling me that if she becomes a problem, he’ll help me deal with it, but Eric’s solutions would likely result in death. I cannot do that. There is too much blood on my hands already and I know that there will be more. I will avoid what I can. The fact that I even considered Eric as a solution, if only for a moment, alarms me more than the situation I’ve found myself in. I will not let myself rely on him again.

“You are perceptive,” I say. I place my tablet in my lap, ensuring I do not fidget with it as I speak. It is a known sign of lying and I need to look calm. I cannot be obvious about what I am truly trying to hide. I do my best to channel Jeanine in this moment. I could use her conviction to calm me. It is becoming easier each time, and I ignore what that could mean for me. “It is not a gas leak. During some routine health checks, we’ve discovered some...genetic anomalies that are appearing more frequently in members of all factions. While this anomaly has not currently led to any massive negative effects in the population, there have been incidents over time that have resulted in death. We are doing our best to research it and find a cure based on the majority population who do not show any negative effects.” It is not technically a lie, depending on your beliefs. “It is in the best interest of all that the true details of this research are not revealed. We do not want to cause a panic that will frighten the population over the slim percentage of chance that they could be one of the ones negatively affected. Is that understood?”

She stares at me for a moment, likely looking for some hint that I am lying. I am not, not really. The only part that was truly a lie was looking for a cure. 

“What cure could there be for a genetic anomaly?” Of course that would be the part that she catches and pulls at. She is hoping to unravel any possible lie.

“That would be what the research is for,” I reply tensely. I know that she is not Erudite, but one would think that common sense would be a factor when focused on truth. “We need the population samples so that we can discover the root of the problem and then build a cure from there.” There is a moment of silence, and I try to let the tension on my frame relax.

“And the role of the other factions?”

“As of right now, they are providing the population samples for testing. When further processing is done, it is our hope that the factions will work together to assist in this cure.” Another half lie that hints at working with the other factions and their specialties. Jeanine wants the others to submit their divergents for testing and eradication. Not a cure.

Finally, she nods.

“I knew it wasn’t simply a gas leak. Thank you for telling me.” She smiles brightly before turning to her computer. “Now, what sample size are you looking for?”

It doesn’t seem like it should be that easy. I am still on edge, half expecting her to question me further, but I answer. “A group of twenty-five, if possible. Age ranges from infancy to elderly. I would suggest five from five age groups made up of the young children, adolescents, young adults, middle aged adults and the elderly, if you have any. All in good health.”

“Sounds logical,” Alethea says, “which you would know.” Her stare is calculating behind her smiles, nearly as piercing as Jeanine’s. “I wonder though, if it’s such a small percentage of the population that has this…anomaly, would a group of twenty-five be sufficient for results?” I feel as if I am facing a mythical beast, set out to devour me if I make one wrong move.

“When you calculate that there are five factions that are participating, that raises the current sample population to 100. If the sample size is needed to be expanded upon, I am certain you can arrange for more volunteers. We do not expect to involve anyone in a sample more than once.” I pause for a moment before looking at her and smirking slightly. “Trust me, if there’s anything you can be certain Erudite knows, it’s research,” I say dryly.

Alethea looks surprised for a moment, as if unsure if I was attempting to make a joke and failing. Other factions think that Erudite’s have no sense of humour at all. She looks back to her computer.

“I’m sending you the list now. They are all in good health and standing in the faction. Should any of them prove unsuitable,” she meets my eyes, as if daring me to argue, “then I am happy to assist in finding a replacement.”

“Of course,” I say with a forced smile. “It is appreciated. At the moment, the tentative date for the testing is a week from today, in the morning. I will finalize it with the labs and inform you and Jack.”

“Don’t worry, it will be fine,” Alethea said before standing. I quickly follow suit, shoving back my relief and shaking her hand.  
  


* * *

  
The ride back to Erudite is quiet. Doubt creeps up along my spine about the conversation with Alethea. While it seems like it went well, I am afraid that she merely gave the reaction I had prayed for and she knew it. My lack of knowledge for what she was looking for, and what I can expect, unnerves me. There is too much possibility. I make a mental note to prepare for any contingencies that will need to be dealt with.

As I step into Erudite, I try to prepare myself for the coming confrontation with Catherine. It is meant to be training, however, based on all of our previous meetings, I have no doubt that Catherine will use it to press her advantage, and continuously attempt to highlight my failures. As I make my way to the office, where she should be waiting, I try to relax. It would do no good to let her goad me into a verbal assault. If I can survive Eric and Jeanine, I can maintain my professionalism with Catherine. Even if this means that I will be working with for from this point on. I force back the annoyance, and step out as the elevator opens onto my floor.

Catherine is seated behind my desk as I walk into the office. It is an obvious placement aimed at showcasing her replacing me. Seeing her there, in a position I had worked hard to maintain, irritates me. For once, I am thankful that I never took the time to decorate my desk with anything from my home. There is nothing there for her to use in an attempt to learn about me, or to use against me. I am reminded that I will need to be careful with her. She does not show me the respect of standing or greeting me as I enter, despite my higher status in our faction. I am not surprised.

“I see you are already organizing your desk to suit you.”

She smiles at me, sharp and vicious, and in that moment looking as if she won the trivia games we played as children. “Amelia, I am surprised to see you. They did not tell me it would be you training me. But, I suppose that Jeanine has given you this final task before ridding herself and our faction of you. Are you really going to break faction for the barbarian?”

I know that the mention of Eric is meant to anger me, to have me react with emotion and give her proof of the rumours that exist about me. It is the reminder that Eric once told me that Catherine wanted to replace me, and the proof of that sitting in front of me that bothers me more. I push it down though and focus on the new knowledge she has just given me. It seems that not only have they not told her who was training her, but also exactly why she was being given my position. Again, she relies on gossip instead of searching for the facts herself. It is a lazy characteristic that will not serve her well. Not with Jeanine. I smile back, channelling my inner Jeanine once again. “Not at all, Catherine. You have been elevated for one simple reason; I have been elevated first. This will be my final task before I move on to be Jeanine’s right hand. She is the only one I report to, and as of now, you report to me. Is that understood?”

Her voice is laced with honey and I can see the fury in her eyes. “Of course.”

“Move,” I command before taking my place behind the desk that was once mine. I can see the tension in her frame. The goals she thought she had accomplished had not been achieved the way she wanted them. It clearly rankles her. Once she sits across from me, I begin. “You will be in charge of Jeanine’s mail and schedule, as well as anything else she or I ask of you. As of right now, you will remain at your desk unless otherwise told. You may be required to accompany Jeanine to meetings and take notes. Understood?”

“Yes.” Her voice is short and I can hear the tension in it. While she is listening, I am certain she is also thinking of how she can spin this situation to suit her. I hope she will remain professional through this.

“Good. The computer is set up withal the information you need. You only have access to what Jeanine feels pertinent. If there is anything urgent that needs to be dealt with, message me first. I will determine if it needs Jeanine’s attention or if it can be handled without her. When she is in her lab, she is not to be disturbed. You do not have clearance for the lab.” Instantly, I see a flash of anger in her eyes again, but she maintains her expression of idle curiousity. If I didn’t know how she felt about me, I could almost believe it. “I assume that the scheduling and message system is simple enough that I do not need to go through it piece by piece for you. Do you have any questions?”

“No, it seems very clear to me that my position is currently limited.” Catherine leans forward slightly and her eyes narrow slightly. I am not sure if she is trying to be threatening, but I have faced worse. “Tell me, is it you that doesn’t trust me, or Jeanine?”

“Trust is earned,” I say. I stand up and move away from the desk. It is no longer mine, and while I am oddly grateful I will not have to share it with her, I feel displaced. I seem to be swimming in a sea of uncertainty. I do not like it. “Go to the computer and look over the system in place. I’d rather answer any questions about it now while I’m here.”

She sits down at the desk. “So,” she says as she turns on the computer. Thankfully, we have separate accounts and information available. “How much do you suppose Jeanine trusts you with your dalliances with Dauntless?” She’s phrased it as an innocent question, but she watches me out of the corner of her eye. The desk seems to give her confidence, at least enough for her to attempt to again play with the rumours of the Dauntless and me. That’s all.

I have to believe that, otherwise the idea that she is searching for a reaction, that Jeanine chose her simply because it would unsettle me enough to give a reaction, is terrifying. Knowing Jeanine, it could be possible, but I cannot think like that. I won’t survive if I let paranoia rule me more than it already has.

“My work at Dauntless is on order of Jeanine. We’re ensuring the coordination and partnership of the factions, as always.”

“Is that what they’re calling it now?” I hear her say, just loud enough for me to hear. I ignore her. She is trying to bait me and I will not take it. My tablet beeps and when I look at it, I find an addition to tomorrow’s schedule. The Dauntless are coming in for testing. I try not to react. It is highly likely that Eric will be among them. As I stare at the tablet and agree to the changes, a message comes through from Jeanine. My presence is demanded in the lab.

“Do you have any questions?” I ask, looking at Catherine.

“No,” she says. “As you said, it’s fairly standard and I am not incompetent.” I try not to roll my eyes at her. Of course not.

“Very well. Message me if you need anything. I will be in the lab.” I turn to leave, when she calls out to me.

“Jeanine’s lab?” There’s a hint of disbelief in her voice.

“Yes.” I leave without further comment, heading for the elevator to take me to my next trial. They are beginning to seem never ending.

* * *

  
Jeanine is staring at Vera when I walk into the lab. Vera is awake on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling and hooked up to a variety of machines that seem to monitor everything. She looks gaunt and sick. My throat tightens, but Jeanine speaks and pulls my attention away.

“How was Candor?”

“They did not believe the gas leak reasoning for the inspections, at least, the woman helping me, Alethea, did not.”

“And what did you tell her?” Jeanine turns to look at me, watching carefully.

“That we have evidence of genetic anomalies that have appeared and are causing issues for a very small percentage of the population that has them. We are looking for those that showcase this anomaly so that we may create a cure based on those that do not have any issues.”

Jeanine nods. “An excellent reason. Send word to Greg in case there are any other questions by others who do not ask you. Also, use that reasoning to those working on it in Dauntless who are not…fully informed.”

I make a note on my tablet and take care not to look at Vera again. “I received word that the Dauntless are coming tomorrow?”

“Yes, we are in the beginning stages of creating a serum for them. We need to monitor some of them while we do further tests. You will oversee it.”

“Of course,” I say. I will have to steel myself against the possibility of seeing Eric. While it is unlikely that he will be there considering how many leaders of Dauntless there are, there is always a chance. Hopefully, they will send another this time, if only to keep suspicion low. I make a mental note to suggest it to Jeanine and Max.

“And Catherine?” she asks.

“Seems competent, for now. She also seemed disgruntled that I was still here, and not dismissed as she thought.” There is no point in lying about that. It is easier to be truthful and to ensure that Jeanine is aware of it in case Catherine ever attempts to turn her against me. “She is pleased to be working for you.”

“Hmm,” Jeanine looks at Vera again before looking back at me. “If there are any problems, and she continues to have issue with working with you, send her back to her previous position. I will not have someone who cannot be trusted with their emotions in this position. We work closely with Candor. It will not do to have someone close at hand who would be easily compromised. Understood?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Good. The faction testing and Choosing Ceremony are fast approaching. Make sure the preparations are in place. We’ll be hosting it this year.” It is a month or two away, but I nod and make a note. It would need to be perfect, to show off Erudite to the other factions. Jeanine smiled, and she looked like a shark awaiting her prey. “It is going to be a very important year, Amelia. Everything must be in order. I trust that you will see to it.” At my nod, she dismisses me to see to the preparations for the next day.

As I walk away, something settles in my chest. An important year. Something major is going to happen, likely involving divergents considering the last year. I have to be careful. I have to focus…and that means that I have to ensure Eric understands that his distraction cannot happen again. It is far too dangerous, and could leave me open to making mistakes. He will have to understand. There is no other choice.

 

**[tbc]**


	28. Chapter Twenty-Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Amelia acts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. I cannot believe that this story has reached over 100 comments and over 400 kudos! That's amazing! Thank you all so much! This chapter is a bit larger than previous ones but a lot happens. There's a bit that's unedited in it so I may come back in a few days to change some minor things around. I hope you like it! Please comment if you do but most of all enjoy!

** Chapter Twenty-Eight **

 

             I stand in the foyer of Erudite’s building, waiting for the Dauntless envoy to arrive as I mentally replay my latest interaction with Catherine. The morning was spent with Catherine, leading her throughout Erudite and introducing her to the various heads of the departments. Catherine had a tendency to introduce herself as my replacement, however as I explained that I was moving into a position as Jeanine’s right hand women, any attention that would have been lavished upon Catherine, was pushed onto me. Every one was looking to further their own agenda and looking for a way to our illustrious leader in order to do so. Thankfully, it would likely be Catherine who would deal with them more now. While the attention will never really be diverted from me, I am just happy that I will no longer frequently have to deal with inconsequential people looking to promote themselves.  

            “Miss. Elswood?” I look up to see one of the Erudite’s from the information desk for visitors standing before me. “The Dauntless are approaching.”

            “Thank you,” I tell her and watch as she scurries back to her desk. I close the file on my tablet and tuck it in my arms against me. The dark figures of Dauntless can be seen approaching through the glass wall. I should have known that any luck I had involving Eric and Dauntless had left me the moment I first met him in Jeanine’s office. He is leading the small pack of twenty-five.

            I sigh to myself before they enter the building. Eric sees me instantly, leading the others towards me. He smirks as he gets closer, and I ignore the twist of my stomach. It is the first time have seen him since I left Dauntless after the storm. I am reminded that I will need to inform him that anything between us has to end. It likely will not be an easy conversation, and it is unlikely that Eric will simply accept it with grace, but it needs to be done.

            “Eric,” I greet him before looking over at the small crowd of Dauntless. They seem to exhume a frantic kind of energy, laughing and joking with one another as they look around Erudite. Erudite looks back and I am suddenly aware of how much of their focus is on me.

            “Amelia,” he says. “Always a pleasure.” His voice is low and almost teasing. He steps close, his gaze steady and intense on mine. For a moment I am afraid he’s going to touch me, somehow signify that things changed between us and that all the rumours were right. Everyone is still watching.

            I ignore it, shoving it down with the rest of my emotions. I break eye contact, looking over the volunteers. “Follow me,” I say. I turn and led them towards the stairs that lead to the lab, ignoring the blatant stares from my faction and the heat of Eric’s eyes on me.

            At the bottom of the stairs, one of the lab assistants wait. He does not look afraid of the Dauntless, instead he nearly sneers as they stop in front of him. The lack of fear was one of the reasons he was chosen for this task, though I have no doubt that the Dauntless will heckle him.

            “Miss. Elswood,” he greets, nodding in deference to me. I nod back.

            “Isaiah will lead you up the stairs to the labs. I am taking the elevator. Wait outside the door until I arrive.” I aim this point to all of them, but I look at Eric to drive it home. I am hoping he will lead them on. There is no way for me to follow at their speed up multiple flights of stairs in heels.

            “Go,” Eric orders and I watch as Isaiah scrambles to lead them before they swarm and overwhelm him. A small tactic at the bias I am sure they all saw in him. Eric turns to me. “Lead the way.”  
 

* * *

            I should not be surprised. There is no peace with Eric’s presence. I move quickly towards the elevator. I have no hope of losing him, but if I can make the journey swift enough to decrease the time spent together. If I am lucky, we will not be alone in the elevator.

            “Miss. Elswood,” Eric teases as we wait in front of the doors, his breath hot on my neck. I am reminded of the last time he was behind me in far different circumstances. I begged and he let me breathe. He let me forget, yet when I came back reality seemed all that much worse. It would not happen again.   
         “Do they always treat you like that?” he asks softly. The elevator doors open and we step in. His hand is on my lower back, ushering us in. There is no one else here and while he drops his hand as we turn to face the doors, he does not move away. “Always bowing and nodding and offering you everything you want on a silver platter?” Eric’s voice is low. “No wonder you were so…tense before me. No one has ever fought you like I have, have they? No one’s pushed back.” I don’t bother with a response. I can feel the heat of his body next to mine and I watch as the doors finally close. My heart is pounding. There is little doubt that once we are alone, he will do _something_. He overwhelms me, and I need to push back. There is too much of a chance that we will get caught if he tries anything here and then all of my work will be for nothing. A hand catches the door before it fully closes. Eric shifts back slightly and I feel myself breathe before I catch sight of the person stepping in. Riley. When I hoped we would not be alone, this is not what I meant.

            “Amelia,” he greets me with fake enthusiasm. He glances at Eric and narrows his eyes at the sight of him. Riley nods, but does not give him the curtesy of a formal greeting. “I’ve been looking for you.”

            “I was not aware,” I state. I have not actively been avoiding him, but I had no desire to be near him after our last encounter. For all of his intelligence, he does not seem to take obvious clues well. He presses a button for his floor before moving forward, trying to shift his way in-between Eric and I. I am tempted to let him try to move Eric, but I do not need to deal with their posturing now.

            “I was hoping we could speak,” Riley said. “We did not finish our last discussion.”

            I turn towards him. “I was perfectly clear, Riley. What did you not understand?”

            “You are being illogical, Amelia,” he hisses. He is not very good at not drawing attention to himself. I can see Eric looking between us, moving his eyebrows seemingly in an effort to communicate whether or not he should intervene. I shake my head as minutely as possible.

            “I meant what I said last time, Riley. Do not push my limits. You will not like the result.” I had threatened to make him factionless. Riley’s eyes narrow on me.

            “I am trying to give you a chance,” he says to me. “To help you prove the rumours about you and this…brute false. There is no one else here, Amelia, who is willing to put up with this and these…dalliances of yours.” Good, I want to tell him. I do not want any of them. He is pushing my patience and I can easily see Eric getting angry. Whether it is the blatant dismissal of him or something else, I do not know, but I need to stop this before he murders Riley. We are nearly there.

            “These dalliances, as you call them, are me doing my job,” I nearly snarl. I am far too wound up about this and the small space where we are all together. Riley has far too much nerve to push this topic here. I thought the dinner had been bad enough, but at least there were others to break the tension. My emotions are far too close to the surface and I shove them back. I cannot react like this. “Do not ask me again.”

            The doors finally open and I can breathe as I push past him. I know he is watching as Eric follows me out, hand once again on the small of my back. I am almost certain that Eric looks back, but the Dauntless standing in the hallway, fidgeting and moving as they wait, catch my attention.

            “Thank you for waiting,” I tell them. “Follow me.”  
 

* * *

  
            The process into the lab is remarkably easy. Gregory is there as lead technician, taking over the duties of informing the Dauntless of the process of the tests. I stand to the side, overseeing that everything flows smoothly. It takes far more redirecting of some of the Erudite’s attention away from the Dauntless than it should. Eric, as anticipated, stands next to me.

            I focus on my tablet, giving in to any possibility that he will tease me about it. I have too much work to do and I need to regulate myself. I need space to breathe and it is not given.

            “What was Riley asking for?” Eric asks. He is staring at the proceedings, at his Dauntless being put under tests, but I am not certain he is really paying attention to them. “Does he still want to fuck you?”

            My jaw clenches. I will not answer him. I will not give him the satisfaction of getting a rise out of me. Not here. It is bad enough he was a witness to that. I will not have Riley’s blood on my hands. After a moment, Eric tries a different tactic.

            “You’re stressed,” he says softly. “Perhaps we should meet later. Break in your bed?” He leans towards me slightly with a smirk. If I am honest with myself, it is tempting. There was nothing to be concerned about when I was in his bed. Only him. I cannot give into that desire though. It was a mistake last time, one that I had promised could not be repeated. No matter how much I want it. I look around the lab. The Dauntless are keeping the technicians busy and it occurs to me that the timing may never be better. While the semi public place is not ideal, it may keep things from getting too out of hand. Eric is prodding me for a reaction. He will get one.  

            “I need to speak with you about that.” I motion and move to the side, closer to the wall and further from anyone listening. He looks far too amused to know what was coming. “Trying to cop a feel now? In public? I never expected it of you…” he grins slightly. “I’m all for it. What’s more exciting than the risk of getting caught?” He leans forwards, reaching for me. I step back. Eric immediately tries to take control, using his hands and body to usher me further from the others in the lab. There is a small alcove to the side, hidden enough to be out of sight from the others.

“Stop,” I snap. I cannot let him hide me away from the others. I put one of my hands against his chest, the feel of his muscles trigger a memory that I mostly try to ignore, focusing instead on forcing him back. He humours me slightly. His back is to the lab though, still covering me from anyone watching.

            “No. Eric,” I look around, trying to ensure that no one can hear before I lower my voice. “I am officially calling an end to…whatever this is. It’s over.” I watch as all expression on his face shuts down. It is an alarming change, but exactly the reason I try to stay in sight of the others. I cannot have him explode. “It cannot continue. I finished our work at Dauntless, and I have other requirements that need my full attention. I cannot afford to be distracted by you or the rumours that your presence brings. I’m sorry, but you will be far more satisfied with someone of your own faction.”

            “What?” He reaches out and grabs my arm, pulling me towards him. My arms come up automatically, trying to stop myself from crashing into his chest.

            “You heard me,” I snap. I try to push back, to gain some room but he is impossible to move. “It’s over, for good.”

            “It doesn’t fucking work like that, Amelia. I won’t let it.” His grip tightens as he seems to straighten, towering over me. I always feel small near him, but the fear of his posturing sparks anger in me.

            I narrow my eyes at him. “You don’t get a choice here,” I snap, before realizing just how loud we are getting. “Not now.” I take a deep breath. He looks furious, similar to the last time I tried to tell him it would not work. That did not work out as planned, but there is no bed here for him to force me back onto. I will not back down. Why can he not accept it? I am too tired for this. I need him to move, to give me space and step out of this situation. “Just go back, Eric. Forget about all of this, okay?”

            “I’m not going to fucking forget it,” he snarls. “You don’t get to just decide –”

            I cut him off, my anger getting a hold of me. The logical part of me approves for stopping him before he gets too loud and draws far too much attention to us. “Actually I do. It’s my life and my body.”

            “You don’t understand, Amelia,” he drags out my name and leans forwards. My jaw clenches at that. He never listens. “I get what I want. Always.” His tone is dark and fear strikes through me. If Erudites did not surround us, I would be afraid of his next actions. He cannot keep me here, forcing me to react to him until I admit that I want him and he knows it. It is a calculated risk that I had to take. I do my best to hide the fear, to ignore how his eyes seem to see right through me. His eyes are dark and filled with promise, similar to our first interactions.

            I pull my arm from his grasp, glaring up at him. “Not this time.”

            “Miss. Elswood.” My attention snaps away from him as one of the lab technicians calls me. Erudites always seem to have impeccable timing. It pulls me back into reality, and I look around to see if there are any spectators. None of them seem to be outright looking, but the Dauntless are watching and making facial expressions at each other. I look at Eric quickly. His body is tense, his hands clenched as if he’s stopping himself from lashing out and hitting something or someone.

            “Excuse me,” I say. “I have to get back to work.” I turn and walk away. I am no longer needed at Dauntless, at least not alone. It is nothing to worry about except hoping he finally understands. There are more important things that need my attention now.  
 

            Miraculously, Eric does not say another word to me. I stay to the other end of the room, conversing with some of the scientists about the results in-between setting up the details of the faction testing and messaging Jeanine the details. My arm aches from where he held it and I am lucky that I am wearing long sleeves still. I can feel his eyes on me as I lead them out of the lab and, after meeting them at the bottom of the stairs, out of Erudite.

            Eric stops next to me in the foyer as the Dauntless leave the building. Some of them look back, but they all avoid Eric and do not say a word. My heart pounds in my chest, wondering what he is going to do next.

            “It’s not over,” Eric says quietly. He looks eerily calm. He leaves before I can assert myself and confirm that it is. As I watch the Dauntless go, I can see them avoiding Eric as they run to the train. When the train is out of sight, it feels as if I can breathe. One issue is dealt with, provided he does not insert himself into my home. I make a mental note to avoid it as much as I can in the next few days. I can only hope that only the others will be as easy.  
  


* * *

  
            Most of my day is spent organizing the testing. I have to ensure that the machines are in good working order and that the faction volunteer lists have been vetted. Abnegation usually does most of the volunteering, but this year there is an increase in interest from other factions. I wonder if it its Jeanine’s encouragement over Divergents that has prompted it. It seems unlikely that the factions will continue to work together, but if Jeanine unites them under this fear, then it is possible. The thought is alarming. The diversity of the volunteers means that I will have to set up a meeting to go over the protocols of the testing, and the necessity of alerting Erudite if any anomalies appear. The thought of it makes me sick. An anomaly would be a sign of divergence. It is another step towards helping Jeanine annihilate people like me. I take a deep breath and try to steel my resolve. I cannot think about it. I cannot think about the deaths I am helping cause, or the torture they are likely to succumb to…like Vera. I can only hope that others are smarter, more efficient at hiding themselves. I pray that they are.

            I quickly check my schedule before sending off a notice to the factions about when the meeting will occur. They will have to make time for me as I have none to spare. A glance at the window tells me that it is finally getting dark outside. The weather is beginning to warm and while time could have no meaning when one is invested in a project, longer days generally mean longer workdays. I am already exhausted.

            The security system to Jeanine’s lab will forever unnerve me. I fear that one day it’s response will change and I will be left to face the defensive and aggressive measures she has put into it. For now, I pass through with ease, finding Jeanine talking with a lab assistant as I walk in.

            I wait until she is finished speaking with the assistant and she turns to me.

            “Amelia,” she says. Her voice is hard and as sharp as glass, a clear signal that something is wrong. “How was the assessment of the Dauntless?” There is something in her gaze that warns me that she is testing me.

            “It is going well. Gregory informs me that they will soon start with the trial testing and monitoring the effects. He predicts a positive outcome within the year.”

            “Inform him that he does not have a year, understood?”

            “Yes, ma’am.”

            She peers at me over her glasses for a moment. “I am informed that there was an incident in the labs between Eric and yourself. Explain.” Fear strikes through me but I nod regardless and try to figure out what to say. I cannot tell her the truth. My mind quickly runs through the possibilities of who could have seen something and informed her. There are too many options though and I can only speculate what they may have seen or heard, and what they told her. I have to relax and say something that will will sound enough like the truth but maintain my capability to her.

            “There was. I dealt with it swiftly. Eric seemed to think that the extended time spent in Dauntless meant that I took orders from him. I merely stated that I worked for you and that my loyalty is only to you and Erudite. No one else. He did not take kindly to me informing him that I was under no circumstances required to give him all the information that he demanded from me, including the details about the testing. I informed him that any information he needed to know, he would, but not from me without orders to give it.” I state it clearly, in a way meant to showcase my loyalty to her before our faction. It is a subtle way to further protect myself, especially if she thinks I did it subconsciously. It is becoming far too easy to lie quickly. It is an unpleasant necessity.

            “I see.” There is a pause and I feel as if she is assessing me once again. As if I am the swab under the microscope. “Indeed. I will have words with Eric about the necessity of information and how he will deter in his harassment of _my_ assistant. I will not have him distracting you with inane questions. Not when time is crucial to our work.”

            I feel something lift in my chest with relief. Perhaps this was finally going to push the point across to him. “Thank you,” I said.

            She gives me a nod. “Our focus is now on the possibilities of creating new serums that will be beneficial to us. There is a lot of work ahead and we will need our allies, Amelia. Is that understood?”

            I nod, hiding my confusion. New serums? And allies? Something was wrong. Why the focus on the factions and testing? What happened to the focus on determining what made Divergents…divergent? “What about the testing on the divergent?”

            Her gaze turns sharp. “The divergent we had in custody succumbed to the testing. The autopsy will hopefully prove more valuable than the live testing did. For now, we will focus on the serums, though if more suspects become known in time, we will deal with them then.”

            My heart stops. I nod automatically as my mind whirls over the meaning of her words. Vera is dead.

            “If that is all, Amelia, you may go. I will message you if I need you.”   
  
            I nod again, murmur a “yes, ma’am”, and leave. My body moves on autopilot as my mind keeps replaying her words ‘succumbed to testing.’ Vera is dead. Vera is dead and I helped kill her. I had killed her. My throat goes tight and my heart pounds in my chest. The world moves around me but I take no notice of it. I have to get home. I have to get somewhere safe. I have killed her. I had killed her for no reason other than to save myself. Oh god. My vision sways slightly as I walk into my building. I struggle to breathe. I collapse to my knees as I enter my apartment. I don’t know how I got there but it is empty and a part of me remembers to the shut the door before I start crying. I try to breathe, taking in huge gulps of air that stutter in my chest. I exhale more than I can take in, my chest threatening to collapse inwards as I can’t help but bawl. I curl up into myself as much as I can. Only one thought was repeating through my head. I killed her. I killed her. I killed her.

 

_[tbc]_

 

 


End file.
